Give Me A Shot To Remember

I gave him the cash with three minutes to spare and in return he gave me the tape and gave us the paper with the address. But just to be on the safe side, we covered his eyes and took him three miles away from the house.

I started to cry and everyone who was in the car turned to face me (Zee, Brian, and Jimmy).

Zacky scooted next to me and hugged me. “It’s OK.”

Brian was behind the driver’s seat and pulled over; he got out of the car and opened my door. “It’ll be alright. Don’t worry. We got the tape and he won’t do anything with the address.”

I wept harder. I can never have a normal guy like me! Let alone a normal life!

The next thing I knew I was being carried and brought back into the car again but this time I was in the front. I looked at the face of the culprit: Jimmy!

I shoved my face into the nook of his neck. I feel safe.

Wow. This is the worst thing ever! I knew that that prick wasn’t good enough for her! I knew he was going to hurt Beck! She’s fucking crying! I feel the need to go after that dick! Kick his ass!
I did hit him at least. But he deserves more than what I did to him! Brian and I should go after him! I mean, I’m surprised he didn’t punch him! Brian really did hold it in, I couldn’t! That fuck-face deserved to get fucking hit!

We got home and by then I felt a little better. The crying had stopped but my eyes were puffy and red still! Gurr!

I got carried inside by Jimmy. Wichita barked at him playfully then runs after Majesty. Crazy ass dog!

Jimmy puts me in the middle of the hallway and kisses my head before he jumps over me and runs after the dog. I laugh.

Brian sits down next to me and says, “You know I love you, right?”

I nod and lean on him.

“Well, I’m sorry it went like that, you don’t deserve that shit. But I hope you now see why we are so protective of you. I mean, there are creeps out there and you’re so beautiful!” he kisses my cheek. “They can’t resist you, love.”

I hug him. “Thanks, poopy.”

“I love you, Beck,” he says while getting up to leave.

When he’s gone I let out a sigh of frustration. But I didn’t know he was right there standing over me.

“Becka, we need to talk. Please don’t ignore me; it kills me when you do that.”

I nod and pat the spot where Brian was just sitting. He sits and I grab his hand. I lean on him and he strokes my hair.

“I think we should talk about what happened, beautiful.”

I sigh. “I guess so.”

He chuckles. “You just want to act like it never happened and go back to how things were, huh?”

That comment got tears in my eyes. I’m crying a lot today. But I hold it in; I don’t want him to think that he made me cry.

“That was the plan; I want to hide and leave it behind me. I’m scared of how I feel and what happened, Zack. It shouldn’t have happened…not like this and it scares me. You know me, I like to run away from things that scare me, not face them in the face and say, ‘Fuck off.’ You know I’m not like that!”

He shushes me. “It’s OK to talk to me about how you feel. You should know that. I know you probably want to tell Jimmy first and then Leana or Val, then me or Matt. But this is between us and I think I deserve to know how you feel, beautiful.”

I sniffle and use my hand to wipe my tears. “OK.”

“Go on…”

“Well I guess it starts with when we first broke up…I broke up with you not because I didn’t feel it anymore because I did! But because I wanted to try other people…and I felt like it was awkward for the guys. Like with us together a lot. I also felt like you were confused about how you felt but you weren’t going to break up with me because of Brian and you didn’t want to hurt me so I did it.” Damn, this stuff is deep…I only tell Jimmy my deep stuff if I don’t keep it in.

“I still loved you…I always will. I mean more than as a brother, you’re one of my best friends but I love you more than that. I think I always will…I don’t know if it’s because I have feelings for you and I want to express them or if it’s because you were the first person I loved more than family or friends kind of way.

“You weren’t my first boyfriend, you know that but you were my first love and first time. That’s special to me but you have feelings for someone else…and I don’t know how this will go. I don’t want hard feelings, you and Gena, Brian up our ass, I don’t know how the guys will react if anything happens! I mean, that kiss was GREAT! Damn, I enjoyed it but I’m not going to be the other woman!”

I was definitely crying now…but I was softly sobbing into Zacky’s shoulder while he took it in.

“I get what you mean and how you feel. I really do! You don’t want to be the other woman but you don’t want to be the reason the relationship ends. I love Gena but I don’t think I can take this anymore with her. She would prefer an open relationship, where she can fuck other guys yet still be with me. But I want to settle down soon, I can’t do it! But you’re different Beck. I can be myself around you, I love you, we’re close, you live here, we used to date, I get butterflies when I’m with you, and that kiss…whoa that kiss sent something through me I haven’t felt since the last time we kissed…”

I blinked up at him. I can’t believe he said that! I feel the same way! He basically put everything I feel into words! Maybe we should go together?!? But I’m not being the reason they break up! Why is everything so complicated?!?!

“I feel the same way, Zee! And everything you said about Gena…yeah, it’s true. I’m not going to be the reason you guys break up!”

He nodded and said, “I understand.”

I smiled. “Don’t be like that! I just said I also had feelings for you and felt the same way that you do!”

He smiled a broad smile. “Yeah buddy!”

I smiled even bigger and stared at is big, fat lips. I didn’t realize I was biting my lip until I tasted blood!

I made a disgusted face and yelled, “Yucky!”

Zachary chuckled and leaned forward. Our lips met and there was that spark again! It sent tingles all the way through me, to my toes! I really want more then what I’m getting!

I turned my head and he pushed his lips harder against mine. I grabbed his long black hair and entangled my fingers in it. His begging tongue asked for entrance; I gave in.

I started to make a soft moan of pleasure. This was too good to be true!

Then it all stopped! Zacky pulled away!

I stared at him with longing. “Why!”

He laughed. “You’re not going to be the other woman, remember?”

Curse what I said!

He got up and laughed. So I stuck my tongue out at him; he was teasing me!

Vengeance helped me up and we walked into the kitchen. Only Jimmy was there and he was silently sipping water.

I skipped to him and kissed his head and said, “Jimmy-Pop!”

Jimmy didn’t say anything but just stared straight ahead. I looked at Zacky and he looked at me…what’s wrong with James?!? Is he mad?!

“Err, what’s wrong, James?” asked Zacky.

He just sipped.

I had it!

“OK, what’s wrong? Why you mad? I’m your bestest friend so tell me; now!”

He looked over at me and said, “That’s it. I’m supposed to be your best friend! Why the fuck didn’t I know you two were back together?! I mean, now I know why you choose his place over mine! But why the fuck didn’t I know? I found out because you to were carelessly making out over there!”

I stood there. HOW THE FUCK?!? HE WAS QUIET! WHO ELSE KNOWS?

“We’re not together,” said Zacky.

Jimmy smirked. “Becka, I’m not mad but I’m upset that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

I hugged him. “I’m sorry,” I choked.

He hugged me back. “It’s OK.”

I looked back up at him. “We’re not together…he’s still with Gena! But we have feelings for each other still…I just don’t want to be the other woman or be the reason they break up. You’re the only person who knows! Well how we feel…who else saw us?”

He nodded in thought then said, “No one, I walked in and got an excuse for them to go outside.”

Zacky sighed in relief.

“I won’t tell anyone! No worries,” said James.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, fucker,” said The Rev.