Give Me A Shot To Remember

“So why are you sitting us all down?” asked Leana once everyone was here and sitting.

“What did you do now?” asked Brian.

I just looked at my hands. “I would like you all to know that what I’m about to say is true and very hard for me to say.”

They just stared at me so hard that if they had mind reading powers they’d totally be using it right now.

I sighed. “First of all, I’d like to say that I’m sorry that I left for Seattle, didn’t talk to you guys for 3 years, and wouldn’t say why I left.” I was sweating pretty badly by now. “I went to Seattle to be with Kyle, you all remember him. I was madly in love with him and when he said he was leaving all I could think of was how much I’d miss him so I went with him. Everything was fine for about seven months-” I recalled as I started to cry a little. “-then he came to our apartment drunk and beat me. I was bruised up pretty bad and even had a black eye and my lip was swollen and bleeding. He beat me every time I did something ‘wrong’ in his eyes for about 3 months.

“Then he found some whore and kicked me out of the apartment and dumped me after beating me one last time. I only had a couple of clothes with me and I needed a place to stay. I was walking around the streets when this guy came up to me and raped me.” I was crying heavily now.

I looked at them and they all looked sorry and like they were filled with anger and that they’re hearts were broken.

“He knocked me out after he raped me and beat me. When I woke up I was in a dark room and I had no clue where I was. Then he came out from a door and told me that I was his new sex toy and that if I cried or refused then he would just beat me even harder. Maybe a broken arm or nose, so I just took it for about two months but he made me dress up and took me to eat and for walks in the park. I felt like a dog. He said that if I tried to ask for help or tried to run then he’d just kill me.” I blew my nose.

“One day, he wasn’t paying attention and I just ran I ran as far and fast as I could. He didn’t find me and I didn’t tell anyone! I got out of that part of town and I found a strip joint. They were hiring and they took me. I got beat if I did something wrong like a dance move or if I was late. I had to stay with my boss, he also owned condos. I had to sleep with him to afford to sleep there. I was like another sex toy.” I tried to breath regularly.

“I didn’t call you guys for help cause that’s just wrong. I haven’t talk to you guys in like two years. Then I called Brian and he was so happy to hear from me and I asked if I could come back home and he said of course I could. I saved up for about a year and got enough money for food, a plane ticket, and a motel to stay at. I had to give half my earnings to my boss and when I left he beat me and raped me. On the plane I decided to leave all that behind and just start fresh. Like it never happened, like I was in college having a blast, I didn’t even know if I could face you guys and tell you but I knew I had to.”

I just cried and cried. Everyone took it all in. And Jimmy came up to me and hugged me for about five minutes straight. Then they all did it. Brian was last.

“I love you Becka.” he sang in my ear.

They all sat down again and faced me.

“Becka, why didn’t you tell us?” Val sounded so sad and disappointed.

I was still crying, but softly now. “I just couldn’t, Val. Do you know how fucking hard it is to say all that?!”

Leana came up to me and hugged me again. “It’s okay sweetie. We’re here for you now. And nothing and no one will ever touch you again! I swear,” she said it with such power but she was crying as well.

I looked at Brian who looked all tensed and angry. He mumbled something.

“What is it Brian?”

He looked at me. “I’m going to kick all of their asses for you! Don’t worry.”

I chuckled.

“Can we just forget about it? And leave it where it belongs?”

Matt sighed. “Becka, this is serious. We can’t just pretend it never happened. You were beaten, abused, and sexually assaulted.”

“Do you have scars?” asked Johnny. I didn’t notice that he was crying.

I lifted up my shirt and I had one on my stomach. I lifted it even higher and I had one under my breasts. I also had some on my legs, arms, neck, and vaginal area but they weren’t noticeable unless you were looking or feeling. Yes, you can feel my scars, they’re that deep.

They all came up to me and felt all of them, and rubbed them gently as if they would reopen if they put too much pressure. The only one they didn’t feel or see was my vaginal one.

“You don’t have anymore, right?” asked Zacky.

I sighed. “Well, I do. But it’s more in a private area if you’re getting where I’m talking about…”

“Becka,” Gena placed her hand on top of mine as she spoke. “Don’t you think we should call the police?”

I got up from the seat I was sitting in and backed up, I was crying and shaking my head violently. “No! No! You are not calling the cops!”

Brian came for me and hugged me as if his arms were shields and nothing could penetrate them. He shushed me and just rubbed my back.

“Don’t! Brian, don’t do it!” I screamed.

“It’s okay. We won’t, if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you.”

I looked at Brian and noticed tears in his eyes. He also had dried tears on his cheeks. I giggled; Brian is a macho man, he doesn’t cry!

He pushed me playfully and stuck his tongue at me when he sat down. I did it back.

I sat on Matt’s lap and just hugged him. I always felt safe around Matt and he is such a great listener.
Wow. I can’t believe Beck got raped, beaten, and was a stripper. I just knew it was a bad idea for her to leave. I had this knot in my stomach when we all drove her to the airport; I shouldn’t have let her leave. I would have been more then happy to give her money to come back here with us; with me. I should find this “Kyle” and just beat the living shit outta him! What a little prick.

I remember when they first started dating. We didn’t like him but the more we started to get to know him he seemed legit. But now he’s just a douche! I even had this feeling, like when she left, when they first started to date that they wouldn’t be a good match. At all!

Matt hugged me. “I love you, Beck,” he whispered to me.

I smiled and stopped crying. “I love you more, Mattie-boy!”

I stared at his warm, chocolate eyes as he smiled at me. I put on his shades and kissed his forehead.

I stood up to be dragged onto another lap. I looked up to see Jimmy’s crystal blue eyes.

“I love you, Beck,” he hugged me as he whispered.

Why are they calling me “Beck” again all of a sudden?!?!