Powerplay

[Sasha]

"SASHA!" I heard that skank's dumb little accent. How DARE she wake ME up?! "YOU HAVE COMPANY! THREE REALLY WEIRD GUYS!"

I tied my hair back and looked in the mirror. I just woke up and I STILL look hot! That's skill. 

I walked downstairs to see my boys waiting for me.

"Jorm? Kiv? Andy?" My eyes lit up. "What are you doing here?!"

"We missed our little Sasha." Akiva pulled me into a hug.

Jorma grabbed me from Kiv. "No hogging her, dick head! Share! Sash, we were bored without you. And Andy did nothing but bitch bitch bitch that he couldn't snuggle with you. What a fag. Get a real man. Me!"

Andy slapped him upside the head. "I'll be back in a minute, baby. You'll enjoy this surprise. It will bring back old memories."

Andy walked outside. Jorm and Kiv were chatting it up when the doorbell rang. I opened it and started rolling on the ground laughing.

Andy and Justin were in my doorway, smirking.

"Hey girl I got somethin' real important to give you. So just sit down and listen. Girl you know we've been together such a long long time." Andy took my hands and put them on the box.
 
"Such a long time." Justin winked at me.

"And now I'm ready to lay it on the line." Andy.

"Wooow. You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide. Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind." Justin.

"A gift real special, so take off the top." Andy.
 
"Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box." Justin.

"Not gonna get you a diamond ring. That sort of gift don't mean anything. Not gonna get you a fancy car. Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star. Not gonna get you a house in the hills. A girl like you needs somethin' real. Wanna get you somethin' from the heart." Andy and Justin.

"Something special girl." Andy.

"It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box babe. It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl." Andy and Justin.

"See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin'." Justin.

"Yeah." Andy.

"And I got just the one, somethin' to show ya that you are second to none." Justin.

"To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress. It's easy to do just follow these steps. One." Andy.

"Cut a hole in a box." Justin.

"Two." Andy.

"Put your junk in that box." Justin.
 
"Three." Andy.

"Make her open the box." Justin.
 
"And that's the way you do it. It's my dick in a box... my dick in a box babe. It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl." Andy and Justin.

"Christmas." Andy.

"Dick in a box." Justin.

"Hanukkah." Andy.

"Dick in a box." Justin.

"Kwanzaa." Andy.

"A dick in a box. Every single holiday a dick in a box. Over at your parent's house a dick in a box. Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box. Backstage at the CMA's a dick in a box. Yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow. A dick in a box." Justin.

I was rolling on the ground, laughing my ass off. "Put your dicks in your pants and hug me. I missed you guys."

They each carefully removed their dicks from the boxes and put them back in their pants. They took off the wigs and the facial hair.

The skank started to freak out! "PAVEL!!! JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS IN OUR HOUSE!!!"

I pulled Justin into a hug. "I loved your new skit! You, baby, and GaGa! You guys were fantastic!"

Justin hugged back. 

"Hey, boys I want you both. I hope that you think that's cool." I sang.
 
"Say word?" Justin and Andy sang.

"I know most guys won't freak together." I sang.

"She forgot about the Golden Rule — a huh huh. It's OK to put us in a three-way. It's not gay when it's in a three-way. With a honey in the middle there's some leeway. The area's grey in a one, two, three-way." Justin and Andy sang.

I jumped on Andy, tackling him to the floor. I kissed him. "So I heard you missed me?"

Andy smirked. "Maybe I did and... maybe I didn't."

I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him, looking deep into his eyes. "I missed you, my love."

He held me closer. "I missed you more, my little Russian lover."

I pulled him up. "Let's go have sex."

Andy grinned. "We'll see you guys later for dinner."

Akita looked at us in shock. "Dinner is twelve hours from now."

Andy smirked. "I know. We're shortening our sex to go out with you losers."
 
I smirked at Andy. "Yeah. Such a shame. Don't expect to see him very much while you're in Detroit. He'll be in my bed." I bit at his earlobe.

Andy moaned lightly. "Nope. Can't wait any longer. Bye, guys!" He picked me up bridal style and ran up to the room.

I heard the skank throwing a bitch fit. "Pavel!!! They're going to have sex in OUR house! They're doing it right now! They're REALLY loud!"

I laughed and let Andy continue what he was doing. 

I needed to taste him as much as I could. I won't see him for a while. I'm gonna miss him.

•••

I was currently watching the guys skate around the ice as I sat on their bench. I would look around, not really looking at anything. I did happen to notice a tall blond staring at me. It was quite creepy.

Some huge-breasted chic sat next to me. "Bonjour. I'm Alicia. Henrik Zetterberg's wife."

I smiled at her. "I'm Pavel Datsyuk's sister. I'm Sasha."

"Nice to meet you. You just move here, non?"

"Yes."

"How about we go shop soon. Make a girl day? It be fun."

I smiled. "That sounds nice. Thank you."

We exchanged phone numbers. Right as we gave each other's phones back, the guys started getting off the ice and going to the locker room.

The blond dude who was staring at me kissed Alicia when he thought no one was looking. Well, nobody was... Except me. "We need to talk, lover."

Alicia smiled. "Sure, Val."

The guy she called Val gave me one last look and walked away. I stayed on the bench, zoning out, looking at the ice. I didn't notice when my boys skated out in front of me and Justin sat by me.

"Aye yo, new Lonely Island, 2011. Let’s get ‘em Kiv!" Jorma rapped.

"Aye yo my dick don’t work, that shit is soft as a pillow. My girlie lookin’ at me like 'You for real dude?'" Akiva rapped.

"Aye yo, hold up, hold up, we gotta come harder than that! Yo tell ‘em Andy!" Jorma.

"I think there might be something wrong with my dick. It’s like a melted stick of butter so soft that it can’t fill a rubber." Andy rapped.

"Aye yo come on man, this is Lonely Island, people are countin’ on us, I gotta run all these motherfuckers myself! Whoo! Aye yo I think I broke my dick in the sink. It’s so small and ugly, all smashed and flat like it was playin’ rugby. HOLD UP HOLD UP, this is serious, Kiv let ‘em know!" Jorma.

"Yo for real though, I suffer from stinky dick. Every time I take a piss it smells just like shit." Akiva.

"HAHA yeah that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout! Andy show ‘em how it’s done!" Jorma.

"My dick looks like the fat that you cut off a steak, smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake." Andy.

"LONELY ISLAND! GRAMMY NOMINATED, YEA! HIT ‘EM AGAIN!" Jorma.

"Yo straight out the box with my soggy little shrimp. I was a eight year old girl before the doctor found my dick." Akiva.

"We make too much money for this shit, murder music!" Jorma.

"I shit the bed cause my dick played a prank on my butt." Andy.

"HIT EM!" Jorma.

"Straight crept when I slept and stuck a laxative up." Andy.

"SUPPOSITORY MUSIC! WHATCHY’ALL KNOW ABOUT INCONTINENCE?!" Jorma.

"I got hepatitis c from horse, but no confusion." Akiva.

"JEAH!" Jorma.

"It wasn’t from the sex it was a blood transfusion!" Akiva.

"WHAT?! MOTHERFUCKER GOT HORSE BLOOD! WHAT Y’ALL GOT?" Jorma.

"I write freaky fan fiction where cartoons fuck. Got CGI Garfield lickin’ Marmaduke’s nuts." Andy.

"WHOO! I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT! THIS IS THAT GARFIELD SEX MUSIC! NOW YA’LL JUST SHOWIN OFF! PREACH!" Jorma.

"I got a friend named Reggie who lives down at the dump. Every other week I swing by and bring him some lunch." Akiva.

"OH!! NOW THAT JUST SOUNDS NICE!
IMA CALL IT RIGHT THERE, GAME OVER MOTHERFUCKERS! LONELY ISLAND, WE STARTED THIS FAKE RAP SHIT! THE WORLD NEEDS US!" Jorma.

The Red Wings stopped and walked back to watch the show. I ran across the ice and jumped in Andy's arms. "THAT WAS AMAZING!!!"

Andy grinned. "We always are. Now let's go to that suite we were promised."

I smiled and let them all up there. I sat on Justin's lap. "What will I do when you guys are gone?!"

Akiva looked me dead in the eye, face emotionless. "Miss us."

I threw a bottle of water at him. Everyone started laughing hysterically.

"Watch the fucking hockey game!" Akiva complained.

•••

At the end of the game, the kiss cam started going. It landed on Andy and I. Andy pulled me close and shoved his tongue down my throat. I kissed him back as he went for some boob action. 

The crowd whistled and cheered. 

Val glared at the screen. "She will be mine."

•••

I rested my head on Andy's chest. "Holy fuck. You fucking tire me out, baby."

Andy kissed my head. "I gotta please you while I can, baby. I have to leave soon."

I sighed. "I know. I wish you didn't."

He positioned me so that I was looking at him. "I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too."

Andy smiled and kissed me. He held me close, letting us both fall into a peaceful sleep. 

They're just jealous cuz we're young and in love...