Heartless

Over the next few days, I was constantly in and out of consciousness, and on occasion there would be someone else in the room, like Mom or Christian, but usually it was just Jace, and more often than not I would awake to him holding my hand tightly, or looking like he hadn't slept in days. The latter was probably true.

One time I woke up to the face of a little girl with bright orange hair and a near-blinding smile, and I would've screamed, if I could have spoken at all.
Jace quickly picked the girl up though, putting her back on the floor and sighing. “Anna, we've talked about doing that.” he said. She laughed, showing one missing tooth on the side. “Sorry Daddy!”

I looked from Jace to the girl (Anna, she has a name) and noticed the resemblance, what little of it there was. She looked a Hell of a lot more like Bailey.

Jace sighed again and shook his head, glancing over at me and seeming to realize that I was, in fact, awake. He walked over to the seat he always occupied next to my bed, grabbing my hand and squeezing tightly. “Hey, Will. I didn't realize you were awake.”

Obviously, I thought. Fucking tubes...

Anna climbed into his lap, swinging her legs back and forth while still smiling. He glanced down at her, moving some of her (rather bright) hair behind her ears. “Will, this is Anna. My daughter.” he looked down at her with a look I couldn't quite describe, but was full of adoration and a million other things as well. Anna hugged Jace briefly before climbing back down, running over to one of the doctors and starting a conversation happily.

Jace looked down at me, moving his hand to my forehead and brushing back my hair. “She's been here for about an hour. She's getting kinda jumpy, I guess. Pretty soon I'll have to call Mom to take her home. She was so happy to meet you though, Will. Possibly happier than she was the first time she met me.” he laughed, though it was more with resignation than actual happiness.

“You had another seizure, by the way. This one was smaller though, so they're hoping that maybe they can help before you...” he trailed off, motioning with his hands instead.

Jace always told me what happened when I went under. Sometimes nothing, other times it was a seizure, or I would stop breathing for a few moments. I stared up at him, feeling him rub circles into the back of my hand with his thumb as he looked off to the side. I frowned as I felt my hands begin to shake. Jace felt it as well, looking over at me and watching, presumably to make sure nothing else happened. I just kept shaking, unable to stop it as it began to get worse.

Jace calmly pushed the red button next to my bed, and it was a few minutes before Banz entered, looking concerned. “What's going on?”

“He's... Shaking. He's just shaking, that's it.” Jace mumbled, glancing between the two of us as Banz nodded. “Side effect of one of the medications. It won't last long.”

Jace nodded slightly, rubbing my hand more before the shaking became almost violent. Banz frowned, leaning down to shine a light into my eyes before shaking his head. “No pupil dilation; It's like he's having a seizure, but...”

“But what?”

“But he's aware of whats going on. It might be neurological, but I had thought that the heart was still strong enough to at least keep pumping blood to the brain.” Banz mumbled to himself. Jace frowned, squeezing my hand as Anna came back over. “Daddy, what's wrong with him?” she asked quietly. “I don't know, baby.” Jace barely had time to finish that sentence when I could feel my heart beat erratically, and hear the monitor start to beep oddly.

“Shit, he's going into cardiac arrest!”

“Get her out of here!”

There was a lot more swearing before I felt my vision darken and my body start seizing; but I could still hear and feel. There was yelling and moving around, and I was stuck with more needles than I could count before the monitor began to beep normally, albeit very slowly. There was a few light slaps to the side of my face as I slowly opened my eyes, feeling my head turning as the yelling continued, as well as the occasional needle.

“Willow. Willow I need you to look at me- focus on me, alright?”

I struggled to keep my eyes open and on Jace, trying to focus as I took in his glassy eyes and shaking hands, which were on either side of my face.

“Willow, I need you to stay with me, okay? Can you do that for me? Just... Just stay with me here, you can't close your eyes, alright? Keep 'em open for me...”

he kept babbling away, possibly more for himself than me. Every now and then he'd glance over me, only to look back with a more pained expression than before.

“Will, look at me- I need you to stay awake, alright?” his voice was strained, and he closed his eyes briefly before opening them again, “J-just stay with me, you're gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be okay...”

Jace leaned forward, kissing my forehead and cheek a few times before looking over me again. I could vaguely hear a doctor talking, most likely Banz again, before Jace shook his head. “B-but he can't... He can't breath. It'll...” he trailed off once more, wincing as the doctor said something else and he looked back at me, stroking my cheek.

“Will... I have to take the mask off now... Wait... Will it set him off again?”

Vague mumbling...

“... I won't sit here and watch him suffocate to death.”

The word suffocating and death in the same sentence got to me, making my eyes widen as I tried to back away from Jace's hands, only it wasn't working too well.

“Will, you can't move, understand? You can not move or you'll go back into cardiac arrest.”

I ignored the warning, continuing to struggle until the world went dark again and I could feel myself seizing. The yelling started again, except this time Jace was yelling too, until I stopped moving.

Everything went still and silent then as I stared up at the ceiling, feeling the mask being taken away from my face.

“Will... I need you to look at me... Please? Will? Please, just... Look at me...”
I noticed the edges of my vision darkening as Jace's pleading got quieter, and harder to discern. The voices rose, and there was a continuous beep on the monitor, until...

Peace.

After twenty-and-a-half years... There was peace.