I Dare Not Ask Who's Been Helping You Fall Asleep

I’ve always wondered if I was wasting my time on Alex, but a big part of me wanted him and no one else. On that night, that first party, I learned that drunken confessions were always more truthful than sober ones…

Jack and I sat on a couch that reeked of smoke, from what, I had no idea.

“Where’s lover boy?” I asked Jack as I downed my first cup of beer.

As it went down in warmed my throat, but not the way Bacardi did. It was more of a fuzzy warm as opposed the burning sting of hard liquor. It was good and it felt good as it settled into my stomach.

“What kind of beer is this?” I asked Jack.

“I don’t know. Does it matter?” He was already on his second cup.

“Well, I’m going to get another cup. You want one?”

He handed me his cup and I made my way to the kitchen. As I looked for the beer I spotted two guys downing shots. Several empty shot glasses surrounded them.

I looked on the kitchen counter and saw bottles of beer. The lids were already twisted off. It looked like someone had abandoned them. I looked at the label Stella Artios.

Hm… a bottle of Stella. It sounded tempting, but I had a feeling something was up. So I decided to leave them there. Who knows it could be spiked with something.

I returned to the couch to find Alex sitting next to Jack. He looked disappointed. I squeezed in beside them.

I nudge Alex lightly. He barely even noticed. “What wrong?”

“No matter how hard I try I can never get Jasey to notice me. Right now she’s freaking because she can’t find her boyfriend. It’s like I’m invisible to her.”

“Did you go up to her and ask her what’s wrong?”

“Uh… not exactly.”

“Don’t tell me you just stood beside her like a creeper.”

“Well, no I stood behind her.”

“What?” So she now probably thought Alex was stalking her. I just hoped he hadn't been standing behind her breathing heavily like some psychopath.

“I’m sorry! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do!”

I turned to Jack, “Promise to never be as stupid as Alex when it comes to girls.”

He laughed, “I promise.”

I looked past Jack’s head and my eyes landed something out of the ordinary. It was Jasey’s boyfriend only he wasn’t making out with Jasey.

My mouth dropped open in shock, “Oh. My. Fucking. God. Do you guys see what I see?”

“What is it?” They asked simultaneously. They whipped their heads around to look where I was looking.

“Two people kissing. Wow, that’s great Jasmine. I thought it would have been something more exciting.” Jack deadpanned.

But unlike Jack who had a blank expression on his face, Alex was flipping out. “What the hell? He’s cheating on her?!?! What kind of sick animal would cheat on a girl like Jasey?”

Alex’s knuckles grew white from clenching them so tightly. He stood up suddenly.

It was really sad to see him getting this worked up over Jasey, but I knew what I had to do so I told him, “Beating Jasey’s boyfriend to a pulp isn’t going to make Jasey fall for you. Why don’t you comfort her?”

“Comfort her? What do you mean comfort her? She doesn’t know yet.”

I stuffed by hand down his pocket. “Whoa.” Alex cried as he tried to squirm out of my reach. “What are you doing?”

“Relax. I’m not trying to feel you up.” I pulled out Mary Jane’s cell phone and started scanning through the contacts. “I’m getting Jasey’s number.”

I found her number and pressed send. I had to turn to away from Alex’s panicked face. It looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.

I covered the phone in case Jasey answered and whispered to Jack, “Make sure Alex doesn’t hyperventilate or faint, because THAT’S GAY.” I made sure I said it loud enough for Alex to hear.

I returned to the phone.

“Hello? Hello! Is anyone there? Mary Jane if you do not answer me this second I will hang up.”

“Jasey, I have something to tell you.”

Jasey suddenly grew silent, “Who is this?”

“Um… that’s not important. I want you to know that you’re boyfriend’s cheating on you.”

“Whoever you are this isn’t funny.” Jasey practically growled, but I detected a subtle tone of concern.

“No! I’m serious. Believe me I’m telling you the truth. In fact—” Alex tapped my shoulder and pointed to the staircase where I saw Jasey’s boyfriend and, I was shocked to discover, Mary Jane heading up stairs.

“What is it? Why did you stop? Tell me what’s happening.” Jasey sound like she was about to break down.

I looked at Alex unsure of what to do, “Uh… Jasey where are you?”

She sniffled, “By the fireplace.”

“Okay, we’ll be there in a second.”

I hung up and the three of us made our way to Jasey. I could feel Alex’s body go rigid the closer we got to her.

“Jasey?”

She looked at us with smeared eyes, “Wait, you’re the one who called?” She looked at the three of us.

“Aren’t you the boy that’s always stalking me?” Jasey accused.

Alex’s eyes widened in shock and he started to sputter every excuse he could think of.

She laughed, “It’s okay. It’s kind of adorable.”

I looked down at my feet and bit my tongue.

Even though Jasey had just laughed her smile immediately faltered when she remembered why we were there.

She crumbled into Alex’s arms. “I can’t believe he’s cheating one me right this second.” She sobbed.

Alex just patted her head awkwardly.

Time slowed down as I watched Alex back into an arm chair with Jasey in his arms. There she sat in his lap crying. Alex ran his fingers through her hair lightly.

I felt like my throat was closing, it was getting dry and I was choking. I pushed past jack and ran to the kitchen where I found the bottles of Stella.

Jack followed closely beside me, but not before I grabbed a bottle. I tilted one into my mouth and downed the contents.

I was surprised to find that it was the same beer that I had drunken earlier. I licked my lips and curled my hand around another bottle.

I sipped the light brown liquid. My brain started to feel detached from my body. I stumbled back to the couch that we had sat at earlier.

“Hey, um, Jasmine are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I said lowly.

Jack sat down slowly next to me. “Are you sure? I mean—”

“Jack. I’m. Fine.”

I looked at my empty bottle. It was technically my fourth one.

Jack was probably on his sixth and that was when I realized I was doing the same exact thing to him, but he wasn’t breaking like I was… or was he?

I shook my head and felt my brain rattle.

The music sounded ten times louder. I nodded my head to the beat.

I smiled goofily at Jack, “You know what I really want to do right now?”

His eyes sparkled, “No. What?”

I placed my hand on his knee. “I really, really want to…” I let my hand creep higher up his thigh as I spoke.

Jack sat up straighter and cleared his throat, “Uh, um, you really want to what?”

I smiled and wet my lips, “I really want to… hula hoop.”

“What?”

“And you know what else? I really want to start a fire, and play a piano or maybe lock Jasey in a burning piano.” I started to giggle uncontrollably.

“Oh hoy, okay… I think you’ve had enough to drink.” Jack took my bottle out of my hands and held it out of my reach.

“Give that back!” I reached across him and tried to grab it, but his arms were to long for me. I just ended up collapsing in his lap.

I quickly got off him and again tried to get the bottle from him.

He drowned the remaining beer and set the empty bottle on the ground beside the couch.

I sat back where I originally sat and crossed my arms. “You bitch! That was mine.”

“It tasted like you too.” Jack said grinning.

“Fine. I’ll just get another one.” I went to get up but Jack pulled me back. He wrapped his arms tightly around me just like the “seat belt” earlier. I tried to squirm out of his hold.

“You better stop doing that. It’s making me hard.” He joked.

I immediately stopped. Then we just sat there awkwardly. I didn’t think you could have an awkward silence in a room full of loud music and wasted teenagers, but I was proven wrong.

One, Two Step by Ciara was playing.

I found myself singing the chorus, “Rock it, don’t stop it, everybody get on the floor. Wake the party up, we about to get it on. Let me see you one two step. I love it when you one two step.”

I stopped singing and smiled at Jack, “Did you know I can do the One Two Step.”

“Really? I can’t.” He said matter-of-factly.

“Here I’ll show you.” I stumbled slightly as I stood up. I moved my feet and tried to the dance, but I ended up tripping over Jack’s feet. I landed on his lap… again.

I laughed hysterically and I didn’t know why. “Apparently, I CAN’T do the one two step.”

This time I didn’t bother to move from his lap. I would just end up back in the same place anyways; it seemed.

I looked at Jack’s face and noticed that his eyes looked blurry or maybe it was me that was seeing everything blurry.

“Jack, you know how earlier you told me that you and Alex both liked someone who likes someone else and also how Alex knows that you like me?”

Jack looked at me confused, “Uh… I think so?” He answered like he wasn’t sure. It was probably because I had worded the question so oddly.

“What I meant was does Alex know that I… you know, that I like him?”

“No, he doesn’t know, or at least I haven’t told him, but if you ask me you make it pretty obvious.”

“But when you told him that you liked me, but that I liked someone else he must have asked who I liked right?”

“Oh yeah… we’ll about that…”

My eyes widened “Jack, what did you do?”

“I told him that you liked Jasey’s boyfriend what’s his face. So now he thinks the reason you want to help him get Jasey is so you can get her boyfriend.”

That was such a stupid idea that it actually was really smart… expect for the fact that Alex know thought I liked a lying, cheating ass hole. Great…

“Why do you like me?” I asked suddenly. I couldn’t help it. I was curious.

Jack opened his mouth to speak but it was clear that he was taken aback. “I don’t know. I guess I like everything about you. I mean, I like just being around you. I like how you always scrunch up your nose when you lie. I like when you’re really mad you growl. I even like fighting with you. But what I really like is having you here, sitting in my arms.”

“I do not scrunch my nose up when I lie.”

Jack’s stomach vibrated as he laughed, “Then why are you doing it right now.”

“I am not.” I put my hand to my nose and felt that it was scrunched up. I relaxed it. “Fine, you’re right.” Jack and I grew silent as we listened to the music pulsing through the walls of whoever’s house this was.

“Okay, I have one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Do you hate Alex as much as I hate Jasey?”

“No, not really. Well… okay sometimes I get jealous, but not like you. Sometimes I think it’s not fair that everyone I like likes Alex. I mean first you. Then Lisa.”

“What? You like Lisa?”

“Well, kind of, but not really. She's just fun to be around. Not as much as you. I-I mean I probably have a better chance with her than you, because you’re like stuck on Alex.”

“I am not. Sure, I like him, but it’s not like I drastically need him or I’ll die.”

“Who are you lying to? Me or yourself?”

“Shut up.” I said stubbornly.

“Just stating the obvious.” He sang.

I looked into his eyes seriously. “I’m sorry.” I told him.

His eyes twinkled from the beer, but they seemed to strain to understand what I was apologizing for. “For what?”

“For taking so long to see that I shouldn’t be wasting my time on Alex.”

His eyes widened, “Hold on, what are you saying?”

Without hesitating I crashed my lips to his.

I slipped my tongue in his mouth and I could taste the beer still lingering on his taste buds. I turned so that my legs were on either side of him. He titled his head back and smiled as he pulled me even closer.

“Get a room.” Someone snickered.

I pulled away from Jack and grinned. I stood up and tugged on the edge of his shirt to make him follow me.