I Dare Not Ask Who's Been Helping You Fall Asleep

It was one of those times when my brain was disconnected from my body. The alcohol was making my thinking hazy, but it felt okay. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong. I felt like everything was better than it had been for awhile, but that feeling slowly faded away as the booze wore off…

We stumbled through the party people hazy from alcohol. My eyes searched for Alex inadvertently, but I didn’t see him. I pushed Jack against the front door and we kissed some more. Someone banged against it.

Reluctantly we stopped. The door opened and the bitter air wiped across my face. It momentarily cleared my senses.

What was I doing? Was it wrong to use Jack like this? Did I even care?

Someone’s warm hand grabbed mine and a spark flew through me. It was Jack. He noticed I had stopped and kissed me drunkenly on the lips and my head grew dizzy once more. It wasn’t Alex, but it was still good. I smiled into the kiss. Jack walked backwards with me still on his lips. He tripped and we fell on the dewy lawn.

“Do you remember where we parked?” He asked out of breath.

My lips moved down to his neck. “No, but maybe we should stay here.”

Jack sat up, “Oh, I see it. Come on.”

He got up slowly and pulled me up.

The next thing I knew we were in the backseat of his car and my shirt was on the car’s floor. I sat with my back against the car door and Jack was awkwardly hovering over me. Jack fingered my bra strap and I could feel his heavy breath on my chest. We kept moving constantly to try to get comfortable, but it was impossible with Jack’s long legs.

I tugged on his shirt to tell him that I wanted him to take it off since I couldn’t in our current position. He lifted up off me and pulled his shirt off. I traced a circle around his belly button and laughed.

“You’re really skinny.” I said looking into his eyes wishing they were Alex’s.

He laughed. “Thanks for stating the obvious.”

“You’re also a really good kisser.” I lied. It wasn’t that he was a bad kisser. He just wasn’t the guy I wanted to be kissing.

“Okay, that wasn’t so obvious.” He said jokingly with a grin plastered on his face.

He leaned in to kiss me again and I forced myself to feel something, anything, but it wasn’t working.

He stopped. “Something’s wrong isn’t it?”

“No.” I said quickly.

“Yes, there is. I can tell.” He got off of me and moved my feet so that he could sit down. I sat down next to him and stared straight ahead.

Jack slammed his forehead with his hand. “Oh, I’m so stupid!”

I started at him slightly amused, “And why is that?”

“I almost had sex with you and you’re drunk and hurt.”

“What?” I had no idea what Jack was talking about.

“Remember your sex tips? You said never to take advantage of a girl and that meant if she was drunk, high or hurt and you’re two of those three.”

I can’t believe he actually remembered all of that.

I grabbed Jack’s hand. “You’re a nice guy Jack.”

“I’ve heard that nice guys don’t get laid.”

I laughed, “I guess you’re right. Since you’re not getting any.” I tried to lighten the mood, but it was still awkward. I threw his shirt at him and slipped mine back on.

I leaned my head on Jack’s shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me. “Why doesn’t Alex like me?” I asked naively, because I knew Jack must have been thinking the same thing about me.

He ran his fingers through my hair lightly and I felt my eyes closing. As sleep overtook me I heard him answer simply, “I don’t know.”

------x-------

I woke to the sound of a car door slamming. Then I heard Alex’s voice and suddenly I was wide awake. I kept my eyes close though.

“I’ve been looking for you guys everywhere!”

“Shh, Jasmine’s sleeping.”

It was silent as they looked at me as I slept.

“Did you guys…?”

“No.” Jack answered quickly. “Did you and Jasey?”

“Not exactly.”

Jack sat up straighter causing my head to move slightly because it was on his lap. “Give me the details.”

Alex groaned. “I just… I screwed up. I tried to make a move on her and she wasn’t ready. Now, she’s pissed at me. Why the fuck are girls so complicated?”

“I have no idea, but the older we get the more confusing they are.”

My head swam as I tried to listen to their conversation, but a splitting headache was pinching the back of my eyes.

“Where is everyone?” Alex asked. “We started off with like nine people and now there’s only three of us.”

Just then there was knock on the window. I sat up quickly forgetting that I was pretending to be asleep. I immediately regretted it and felt a sharp pain split through my head.

The passenger seat opened and Lisa sat down. “I was looking for this car forever. I couldn’t remember what it looked like, but finally I found it.”

I placed my head against the cold window wishing it was quiet. “Can we go home now?” I asked.

“Shouldn’t we wait for everyone else?” Alex asked, but he started the car anyways.

He looked at the time. “It’s one in the morning! My mom’s going to kill me!”

“You can say you’re at Jack’s house and Jack can say his at yours.”

Alex put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb, “That’s good in all except neither one of us can sneak in without getting in trouble.”

“I actually don’t think it would be hard to sneak into my house. My mom doesn’t really care.” Jack said.

“Do you think she’ll tell my mom if we come home late?” Alex asked.

“Oh, you’re right. She probably will.”

“What about me?” Lisa interrupted. “I can’t go home either. My parents would kill me if they knew I was at a party.”

They all stopped to look at me. “What?”

“Will your mom be pissed that you’re coming home this late?”

I rolled my eyes. “I doubt it. She doesn’t even notice when I’m home or gone.”

I closed my eyes because the bright headlights of passing cars were hurting my eyes.

“So that means we’re all going to crash at your house tonight.” Alex added.

“Uh huh.” I said not really paying attention. I closed my eyes.

------x-------

Someone shook me awake. “Come on Jazz, we’re home.”

I wiped my eyes and stumbled out of the car when I noticed everyone was following me.

“Where are you guys going?” I asked.

“You said we could sleep here tonight remember.” Alex recalled.

I stared at them. No…”

“Well, too bad, because we are.”

I sighed, “Fine, but the guest room has one bed so two of you are sleeping on the floor.”

“Or we could share beds.” Jack suggested nudging my shoulder.

I ignored Jack and led them to guest bedroom.

“I call the bed!” Jack shouted calling dibs. I didn’t even bother telling him to keep it down. I didn’t really care if my mom woke up.

“No way! I’m a girl I get the bed. I am not sleeping on the floor.” Lisa said.

Lisa and Jack ran for the bed and they landed on it at the same time.

Lisa took a pillow and wacked Jack in the head. “Get off. I’m sleeping on the bed.”

Before Jack could grab a pillow of his own I said, “You both can sleep on the bed. It’s big enough.”

They exchanged a look and at the same time said, “fine.”

Alex looked at the floor. “I guess that means I’m sleeping on the ground.”

“I guess so.” I said unsympathetically. I just wanted to get some sleep. “I’ll get you some blankets.”

When I returned Jack and Alex’s pants were on the ground and they were in they’re boxers. I looked at Lisa, “Do you want clothes to sleep in?”

“Yes please.”

I got her a loose tee and shorts while I was getting that I changed into a tank top and sweat pants. Once everyone was in bed or in Alex’s case, on the floor, I went to my room and collapsed on my bed. After awhile I decided to actually get under my covers and go to sleep.

There was a knock on my door.

I groaned and said come in.

The door opened slowly and Alex walked in.

He scratched the back of his neck, “Um.. . the floor’s really uncomfortable. Do you mind if I sleep by you?”

How could I say no?