How to Save a Life

Maybe it was because I never told Zane what happened, but I found myself face to face with a therapist. Zane was kicked out of the room and a nurse was in here in case I got to upset again. To be honest they were making me feel like some crazy person that was on the brink of being locked away in some mental asylum.

“Okay, Emily I’m here not only to help you get rid of those nasty dreams, but also to decipher your true feelings about Zane. We would not want you to stay with the man who kidnapped you if you are unsure that you love him.” The man informed. Pushing his brimless glasses up onto his nose. Not reaching for him pad of paper, actually to my surprise he pushed it away. “Tell me about your dream last night, Emily.” The nurse began leaving, whispering to him to call if I freaked out. I could almost see Zane outside of the door when he opened it, but I couldn’t be sure if it was him.

“Um…” It took me a minute to work up the words in my chest. I didn’t want to tell him. “Well, Zane and I were on the beach. I was pregnant I think, and he was hugging me. Then I thought I woke up and Zane was telling me that he thought I was better off without him and that he was going to leave me. That scared me I guess.”

“So you are afraid that Zane will leave you. At least that’s what I’m getting out of this. What I do believe is happening is that you want a family with Zane but you are afraid to start one because you think that you will loose him or he’ll leave you. Has something ever happened to you like that?” Well not the way he was explaining it, but I knew what he meant. Or at least I think I do.

“I was in the foster system, I have lost everyone. I don’t want to loose him as well. He is the only person in such a long time that I have felt love towards.” I explained. Hoping that he would help the dreams at least a little bit. The explanation would help me.

“So in other words, Zane is the only person who has truly cared for you?” He questioned. Well that was sort of true, but there were other people.
“No, I have had other people that have cared for me. But I’ve never felt this way about someone who has cared for me. People may say that I have to stupid syndrome but I honestly love him.” I demanded. Crossing my arms over my chest before I winced and took them away.

“Okay.” He hummed. “Will the good news is you are not going crazy. But I think it’ll do you good take a breather and talk to Zane about these dream. I think you have a desire to create a family with him. It might be worth talking about. Not to mention it will help you ride yourself of these dreams.”

“Alright.” I whispered, just happy that I wasn’t going to the insane asylum. I have no desire to live my life out in a little room.

It didn’t take long for him to leave. I’m not sure if I want Zane to know I want to have children with him. Honestly I don’t want to make him mad at me for wanting that.

When he slipped inside I felt myself freeze. Worried that the therapist told him about everything. But he didn’t look to angry so I just assumed he didn’t know. Which was stupid considering his ear was probably pressed up against the door the whole time.

“I want a family with you too.” He hummed. Walking over sit beside me. Pulling my hand into his. Stroking the top of it. “But lets wait awhile, okay? It wouldn’t be smart to make a family where we are at in life now. We don’t even have a house right now.”

“Deal.”