How to Save a Life - Comments

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Awesome!!!
Your story is so cool!
Thank you for reading mine, It just got me more happier that a professional read it!!
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I love the fact that you ended with a cliffhanger, because I'm sure a lot of readers will be checking out the sequel, which is good. :)

I was kind of half right with Peter being in on the step-father fiasco, but I can understand where he was coming from. The damn bastard took his wife and child, held them pretty much for ransom, and probably told him that his wife and child could go with him once he brought Zane and Emily to him.

I'm kind of hoping that Emily won't die, because then that will make me very sad because Zane and Emily won't have a life together. Something tells me though that you won't have her die, but still, I have a small feeling that she will. I also have to say that I enjoyed the goodbye kisses between the two of them in the second to the last update, and I thought it was beautifully sad. Kind of reminded me of "Titanic" a little. :)

Sorry for the randomness in the comment, because I felt like I was all over the map with saying what I liked and whatnot.

Oh, and thank you for the special thank you (if that makes sense hahahaha). That put a smile on my face. :)

~Lady

I knew it! Peter was helping Zane's step-father! It was by force and all, but still! I think that Peter had his truck and that's how Zane and Emily saw it and thought that his step-father was there.
I hope that Zane can catch up to his step-father and save Emily. I also hope that no one is actually following Emily and that his step-father was just lying, but I think he does actually have someone following her. I hope that she is ok, I hope that they're all ok.
I'm excited now that you're making a sequel. I can't wait for it, I hope that it's as good as this one is.

Awesome chapter =]

Once again, I'm going to have to agree with Shadow14 about Peter somehow being in on kidnapping/killing Zane and Emily. He seemed kind of too interested in their personal life, compared to how he was when us readers met him and how he felt about his brother and whatnot.

I don't know, it just seems interesting with how Peter just happened to be there. Like was he getting a burger or something? It just seems kind of coincidental that he just happened to be there when they got hit, that's all.

I'm kind of leaning towards Peter is helping out the step-father in offing Zane and Emily, for cash or something because didn't he have some issues with money in the earlier updates? He owed someone some cash, and couldn't come up with it, so he's kind of getting a second chance at being able to do that? Or at least that's what I'm thinking.

Interesting stuff.

~Lady

I'm glad that it wasn't Zane's step-father, but now since it's Peter and he said all of those things to Emily on the plane, I have this sketchy feeling about him.
I hope that my feeling is wrong, because I really want Zane and Emily to be safe up there.

I think driver of the white van was a hit man, just saying.

I have to agree with Shadow14 that I also have a feeling that the familiar face is Zane's step-father. It seems like all hell will be breaking loose in the next update, and I hope neither Zane or Emily will get hurt even more.

Or, he'll kidnap them, torture them, and eventually (if he gets that far) kill them.

I'm hoping my above statement is wrong.

~Lady

I like how you keep changing the layout.
I have a feeling that the familiar face is Zane's step-father. I hope that Zane and Emily are both ok and that their injuries aren't major, that would suck.

You keep changing the layout but I think this is the best by far. :D

So, to me anyway, it seems like his step-father has some major mental disorder, or just has a huge chip on his shoulder. With how you described what Emily was thinking and how it wasn't Zane's fault and whatnot, it seems like the guy can't forgive, or forget. As for the major mental disorder, it seems like he might be slipping deeper and deeper into his mind, resulting in his major obsession with wanting to hurt Emily. It seems he wants to hurt her in the same way that Zane hurt his mother, and eventually kill poor Emily.

I don't know though, that's just a thought that ran through my head as I read that section on the last update. Could make things more interesting though, you could make the step-father have schizophrenia or a mental disorder that is similar.

Just a thought.

~Lady

Now Zane has to be even more careful on the run from his step-father. If Emily gets sick or runs she has to have another surgery. I have a feeling that something big is going to happen, but I can't be sure yet.

So this was very interesting; it's honestly not what I'd usually read, but it looks good otherwise. When clicked on this and saw that this had forty something chapters, I was a little intimidated. I don't have time to read every single chapter, so I'll just comment on the first one. Anyways, you started this story off nicely, describing Emily's fear. I feel like I'm there with her in that room. Poor thing :( I think that I like Zane, seeing as he's almost forced into doing this, which is really unfair on his part. Unfortunately, your grammar, punctuation, and some spelling needs some work. Stuff like that will deter readers from clicking on your story and actually reading it. Like Isadora Pierce said, the forums have a thread for betas and I suggest that you get one. This story has major potential, but I'm just the wrong audience for it and like I said, it just needs a little work, is all. I wish you luck with this story.

I really hate Zane's step-father, he really does ruin everything, but I guess every story needs a villain.
Keep it up! I love it!

Haha, so I loved Emily's observation about Zane being a romantic, I thought that was cute. And sometimes it's a good thing when guys show their softer, more romantic sides. :)

Needless to say, I like it when writers make guys like that, probably because I'm a romantic myself.

Anyway, I'm happy you add the reality to this story, like with the wedding. It makes the story just a little bit better compared to other stories in this genre, and when the writers make them suddenly come into a huge sum of money (or something similar) and then have the wedding of their dreams. That just irritates me when writers do that, it's like, where's the f-ing reality?!

I'm happy you're not doing that though, that makes me very happy. :)

As for an idea, and this just came to me, you could have Emily surprise Zane with something when he comes home from work. As to what the surprise could be, I'll leave that up to you, but it's just an idea that came to me for this story, and I read the author's note. Sorry if it's on the sucky side.

~Lady

I like how Emily thought that Zane was gonna ask for a puppy or something. It's good. Keep it up! :)

Interesting proposal haha. I like how Emily kept pushing Zane to ask her the question. :)
Update soon :)

Haha, so I really enjoyed the comment she made about her scars being attractive, that made me chuckle.

It's nice to know that she's not slipping deeper and deeper into insanity. But then again, I could be wrong. As a writer, you have a tendency of surprising us readers, so, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that happened later on in the story.

That's just an assumption I have, and I'm probably wrong.

It's also nice that the two of them have an apartment together now, and can live freely. They don't have to run or be in fear of their next move. They can live with each other normally.

I also have a feeling that their "normal" life will be altered though, but that's just another feeling.

Interesting stuff! :)

~Lady

Great update! I'm glad Zane and Emily finally got an apartment and all. I like how they both want to have a family. It's really good. Keep it up :D