Under A Paper Moon.

Since myself and Jack last spoke, several days turned into several weeks and we haven't uttered a word to each other. And I'm losing hope that we ever will. Ciara flew back home after having a short rendezvous with Alex, he seemed to be within the clouds fogging his mind until he realized she left without a good-bye. Everyone moved on to finish their last while at school before completing their Senior year while the guys set off for a small tour. Everything for everyone else seemed to be sky-rocketing and hitting their all time highs while mine pummeled into oblivion.

"Your pregnancy seems to be moving along greatly and we should register you into the Regional Hospital close to your due-date so you'll be ready to conceive. There are chances though that you will have to under-go a C-section as your hip and bone structure may not be able to let you properly conceive as they are too small." The new doctor, Mr. Olivera, spoke while subtly ignoring me.

I nodded numbly, staring at the blurry black and white coated screen where my baby was squirming within me. I felt as if I couldn't sputter a smile nor a frown, I was here by myself. Alex and the gang were between school, studying, practice and gigs. The girl's moving along the same line while preparing for prom night in a few days. And I, I was left alone in my house eating every tub of ice-cream that landed in my freezer as my parents lived at work more than at home.

"Thank you, doctor." I spat and wiped the goo off of my skin before dropping it into a wire trash can, kicking my legs over the ledge while stifling a groan. After my sudden movement my back ached and I suddenly needed to use a rest-room. I signed the papers he handed me with a skeptic look and pulled out the prints of the ultra sound.
Getting myself ready to venture out into the semi-hot weather to trudge my way home, as I was unable to drive by myself, I traced my fingers over the black and white picture while an unwanted smile crept upon my lips.

Walking home I took a few visits to stores along the way, letting my eyes scan over the dresses I could have worn at prom. With disdain I turned my nose and left as soon as the thought came to mind.

I slammed my front door and ripped the scarf off my neck and wrapped it around the banister's end. I did my now usual routine; mope, pull on my pajamas, and sulk to them living room to watch old movies all day. That was suddenly turned around by the long wave of black hair and skin body resting on my couch casually, flicking through the channels on my television.

"Uh, hi?" I shook my head. My slightly longer hair flicked to one side and I fixed back my fringe the way I liked it.

"Hey! I blew off the rest of school because everyone was getting on my nerves. You know. And I stole Alex's spare key to your house." Alice smiled and moved her feet off the couch, making enough room for me to sit down. I nodded and tore open the plastic, flimsy lid of the fudge ice-cream in my hands and instantly slid the spoon into a small portion of it and shoved it in my mouth. We sat in silence and let the sounds of Scream fill our ears, us ourselves finding no way in breaking the silence.

"So, what's your dress like for prom?" I murmured and that sparked her attention. She sat up quick and straighter than ever, her eyes twinkled and her smile grew from ear to ear. It looked as if she smiled anymore her jaw would break.

"Oh my, it's probably one of the prettiest dresses I own. It's midnight blue and only comes to the knee with this massive ribbon around the waist of it..." She mumbled on, occasionally glancing from me to the television screen. She was so obviously excited for this and that makes me jealous. Jealous that I couldn't have the one night to feel like a princess like she did. Like all the girls did. I plastered on a convincing enough smile and nodded and spoke when it was needed. But after the first sentence, I was instantly uninterested.

"Oh, lovely," I looked down, "All the gang going?"

"Yeah, obviously Alex with Lisa you know?" Lie, "Cass is coming out to go with Rian which is so cute. Zack and the obvious and Jack is going with U- no one." She cut herself off and sunk back into the couch. I narrowed my eyes.

"What about Jack?"

"Nothing, nothing. Don't worry about it, okay?" She spoke and stood up, "I'm going to head home now." She tugged on her boots and turned around to creep on her jacket while leaving. I was dumbfounded for a moment before turning around in my seat on the couch and staring at the wave of hair following her body.

I sighed, "Ali-

"See you, bye!" And the door slammed. I let out a squeal of dissatisfaction and annoyance while pouting back into the chair.
Do you ever find yourself in those moments where you're so annoyed all you want to do is cry? Whether it's about not getting what you wanted, the answers you needed or simply because you failed in opening a jar of jam repeatedly and you just broke down and relied on someone to be there for you, and no one came? That's how I felt right now.

All I wanted was for someone; Alex, Jack, my mom or dad, one of the girls or other guys to come walking through that door and wrap their arms around me and tell me no matter what; everything will be okay. But that was a thing far away in my imagination which I know will not happen. And it breaks my heart truly realizing how alone I really am and how I need someone to really be there. At the beginning in my subconscious I thought I would be fine through this on my own; it's easier than what it seems and I'll be fine. And at this moment, I realize how wrong I really was.

I sat enveloped in the couch on my own, crying, for who knows how long. The time just seemed to pass by, occasionally crying and murmuring stupid words to myself on how idiotic I am for letting Jack getting as close as he did. For making a stupid mistake. Letting myself go to Alex's party and drinking when I should have stayed home like I originally planned on doing. This was all my fault.

"Hey, Ray, you home?" A whispered voice, I barley even heard it, called through the front door.

I sniffed and rubbed my eyes probably successfully making them redder, "Yeah, living room."

Padding of squeaking feet made their way from the hall to the living room and then trampolining themselves over the back of the couch and into a heap beside me. I giggled but it didn't come to my heart.

"Sup?"

"Hey Lexi," I smiled and turned back to the TV, "Watching this."

"Scream? Eew. Why are your eyes red? You know it's bad to be doing drugs while pregnant."

I smiled and looked down before turning to him fully, my extreme bulging stomach making full view, "Been kinda crappy. Ali was over earlier, not the best company on some circumstances."

He scoffed and muttered under his breath that's where my key went, "Don't I know it."

It stayed quiet, lingering words that were meant to be spoken never formed. We quietly sat and watched the remainder of the movie played out as the credits rolled in. Through the last forty minutes Alex eventually moved to sit directly next to me as my head rested on his shoulder and his closest arm was around my shoulders. I was half-asleep at this point.

"Al?"

"Mhm Rayne?" He mumbled, his free hand moving up in a lose fist to rub at his eyes.

"Who did Jack ask to prom?"

Alex stilled and moved so he was almost in front of me, "Y-You know?"

"No, I just know through Ali that he asked someone." I pouted and licked over my lips slowly.

"I promised.."

"I don't care."

"Well you should," He looked down, "He'll kill me if he found out."

"Alex, it's my secret to know and yours to tell me."

He breathed in deeply as if debating my words in his head and heart. He flicked his tongue around his pink lips. He shook his head and looked into my eyes, his hand travel led up to stroke my hair then the side of my face, "You won't go out on a mission and castrate him, will you?"

"Does it look like I can?"

He chuckled, "No."

"Tell me."

"Okay," he waited.

"Right now Alex."

"I am!"

"Now." I demanded and he curled his mouth in a fearful position.

"Okay, you're not going-"

"Alex!" I yelled and my breath rose and fell quickly.

"Jesus, it's Ursela, okay!"

And with those four small, simple worlds. I lost hope completely and my head fell into his shoulder and I broke out in sobs.