No Where Left To Run
Carnival
“I don’t think I’m going to be much company tonight Jeremy, I don’t mind going home and you staying here” I said to my boyfriend as he had his arm wrapped around my waist as we walked around the carnival together; it has been a few days since Damon killed Jeremy and I hadn’t been near him since which was fine with me because I was never going to forgive him for what he did.
“I’m not letting you be by yourself Paige so if you go home then I’ll come with you, I just thought coming here would help you” Jeremy said to me softly as we stopped at a stall and he brought us a box of popcorn before we started walking around again; Everleigh had been here as she had helped Elena and Bonnie with setting everything up but once she was done she went back home, this was how she grieved she would spend some time alone to deal with it.
“I know and thank you but I think I just need time, it’s different this time. Now I only have Everleigh” I said to him softly as I leaned into his side a bit more and ate some of the popcorn; I knew that I should tell him what happened with my parents but I was scared that he was going to leave me again and I didn’t know if I’d be able to deal with that again.
“You have Everleigh and me, not to mention Jenna, Elena and Stefan. Do I need to keep listing people because I will, there are so many people here that will help you and Leigh through this” Jeremy said to me softly as he placed a soft kiss on the top of my head and tightened his arm around my waist protectively; I knew he was right but neither Everleigh or I wanted to burden people with our grieving so we just kept it to ourselves and tried to deal with everything alone.
“I know that but I can deal with what happened by myself, it might take some time but I’ll get back to my normal self. And thank you for sticking by me, it means everything to me Jer” I said to him as I looked up at him and I knew that he wanted to help me through this; he knew how I was feeling because he lost his parents but now the only family I have is Everleigh so I feel even more alone.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else Paige and I’m here if you do need me, you’re my everything and I’d do anything for you” Jeremy said to me as he looked down at me causing our eyes to lock together and I knew that he’d always be there for me; I smiled softly as I watched him lean down closer to me as he pressed his lips onto mine for a tender kiss.
“I already know this and you’re my everything too, can you take me home please? I’m not really in the mood to be here” I asked him softly once we had pulled back from the kiss and I knew that he would leave the carnival with me because since he found out about all the supernatural things he’s been a lot more protective of me; I just didn’t want to stay here and pretend like I was having a good time and I didn’t want to bring down everyone else’s good moods.
“Of course I can, let’s go” Jeremy said to me with a smile as he rubbed my side softly before he turned us around and lead us out of the carnival; normally I would have loved being at the carnival and I would have stayed all time but I just wasn’t feeling up to it yet, I also had to tell Jeremy the whole truth about me because he deserved to know.
Once we got to my house I entwined my fingers with his as I lead him upstairs to my bedroom while I heard Everleigh in the living room watching TV; I kicked my shoes off before I sat him down on my bed before I took a seat beside him so I could look at him when I told him.
“Jeremy I need to tell you about my parents and what happened to them, you know they died in a house fire but that’s not everything” I said to him softly knowing that Everleigh could hear me and I mentally thanked her when I heard the front door closing as she walked out; she knew I wanted Jeremy alone when I told him this and I knew she hated hearing about my parents because it brought back horrible memories for her.
“You can tell me anything Paige, you know that. But I don’t want to push you, you don’t have to tell me” Jeremy said to me as he took my hands in his as he looked straight into my eyes and I wished that it was that easy but I knew that I had to tell him; I had to tell him now because if I didn’t then I’d lose my strength and guts.
“No I have to tell you Jer, you need to know exactly what happened because it might change how you see and feel about me. What happened to them was all my fault and I wish that I could go back in time to stop it, but I can’t” I told him softly as I slowly took my hands away from his which I could see in his eyes that it hurt him but I just needed to get this over and done with; I’d chicken out if he comforted me as I told him.
“I got into a fight with my parents one night because they wouldn’t let me go out with my friends on a school night, I was just so angry with them so I climbed out of my bedroom window to go meet up with my friends” I said to him as I looked down at my lap so I wouldn’t start crying in front of him even though he’s seen me cry a number of times; I just wanted to stay strong enough to get through this so he knew everything about my past because I didn’t want to keep holding this back from him.
“I was walking down the front path when I suddenly heard this strange noise so I turned around and I saw that my house was on fire, I was so angry that I caused my house to catch on fire. Everything happened so quick, my parents were trapped in the house and I tried to go back in for them but Leigh held me back” I said to him softly as the tears formed in my eyes and I couldn’t even look at him; I was just so ashamed of myself because I caused my parents death and I couldn’t do anything to help or save them.
“Paige you can’t blame yourself for what happened, it was a mistake because I know you and I know that you’d never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it” Jeremy said to me as he scooted closer to me as he wrapped his arms around my body and held me to comfort me; even though what happened was horrible I felt a weight being lifted off my chest because I told the most important person in my life about it.
“Leigh tells me that as well but I can’t stop blaming myself, I didn’t have the control on my powers that I do now. I should have been able to stop the fire but I couldn’t, I wasn’t strong enough to save my parents” I said to him but it was slightly muffled by the fact that I had buried my face into his chest as the tears started to roll down my cheeks; I didn’t want to cry about this anymore but I guess having just lost my Grandma then it’s still raw for me.
“Like you said baby you didn’t have the control of your powers then, so there was nothing you could do to save them. I didn’t know your parents but I know they loved you and wouldn’t blame you for what happened, so neither should you” Jeremy said to me as he held me against his body and rubbed my back soothingly which really did help me calm down; I inhaled a few deep breathes to calm myself down further and stop the tears.
“You’re way too understanding Jeremy, and thank you for not hating me or freaking out on me. I just needed to know what really happened to them, it’s why I hardly talk about them because I always get upset when I think about them” I said softly as I looked up at him as I wiped my eyes and nose while he kissed my forehead sweetly; in the back of my mind I knew that he’d understand and stand by me but I was still worried about what he’d think about me.
“It’s my job as your boyfriend to be understanding and amazing, besides I love you too much to leave you again. I did it once when I was being a tool, but I learnt from that experience” Jeremy told me as he looked down at me and kept his arms protectively around me; I was slightly stunned at what he just said because it was the first time he ever said he loved me but I couldn’t have been more happy about it.
“And you’re the most perfect boyfriend I could ever wish for, I love you too Jeremy” I said to him with a wide smile on my face after I let him think about what he said for a few seconds; but as soon as I saw panic start to form on his face after he realised what he said I quickly replied to him, letting him know that I did feel the same way.
“I’m not letting you be by yourself Paige so if you go home then I’ll come with you, I just thought coming here would help you” Jeremy said to me softly as we stopped at a stall and he brought us a box of popcorn before we started walking around again; Everleigh had been here as she had helped Elena and Bonnie with setting everything up but once she was done she went back home, this was how she grieved she would spend some time alone to deal with it.
“I know and thank you but I think I just need time, it’s different this time. Now I only have Everleigh” I said to him softly as I leaned into his side a bit more and ate some of the popcorn; I knew that I should tell him what happened with my parents but I was scared that he was going to leave me again and I didn’t know if I’d be able to deal with that again.
“You have Everleigh and me, not to mention Jenna, Elena and Stefan. Do I need to keep listing people because I will, there are so many people here that will help you and Leigh through this” Jeremy said to me softly as he placed a soft kiss on the top of my head and tightened his arm around my waist protectively; I knew he was right but neither Everleigh or I wanted to burden people with our grieving so we just kept it to ourselves and tried to deal with everything alone.
“I know that but I can deal with what happened by myself, it might take some time but I’ll get back to my normal self. And thank you for sticking by me, it means everything to me Jer” I said to him as I looked up at him and I knew that he wanted to help me through this; he knew how I was feeling because he lost his parents but now the only family I have is Everleigh so I feel even more alone.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else Paige and I’m here if you do need me, you’re my everything and I’d do anything for you” Jeremy said to me as he looked down at me causing our eyes to lock together and I knew that he’d always be there for me; I smiled softly as I watched him lean down closer to me as he pressed his lips onto mine for a tender kiss.
“I already know this and you’re my everything too, can you take me home please? I’m not really in the mood to be here” I asked him softly once we had pulled back from the kiss and I knew that he would leave the carnival with me because since he found out about all the supernatural things he’s been a lot more protective of me; I just didn’t want to stay here and pretend like I was having a good time and I didn’t want to bring down everyone else’s good moods.
“Of course I can, let’s go” Jeremy said to me with a smile as he rubbed my side softly before he turned us around and lead us out of the carnival; normally I would have loved being at the carnival and I would have stayed all time but I just wasn’t feeling up to it yet, I also had to tell Jeremy the whole truth about me because he deserved to know.
Once we got to my house I entwined my fingers with his as I lead him upstairs to my bedroom while I heard Everleigh in the living room watching TV; I kicked my shoes off before I sat him down on my bed before I took a seat beside him so I could look at him when I told him.
“Jeremy I need to tell you about my parents and what happened to them, you know they died in a house fire but that’s not everything” I said to him softly knowing that Everleigh could hear me and I mentally thanked her when I heard the front door closing as she walked out; she knew I wanted Jeremy alone when I told him this and I knew she hated hearing about my parents because it brought back horrible memories for her.
“You can tell me anything Paige, you know that. But I don’t want to push you, you don’t have to tell me” Jeremy said to me as he took my hands in his as he looked straight into my eyes and I wished that it was that easy but I knew that I had to tell him; I had to tell him now because if I didn’t then I’d lose my strength and guts.
“No I have to tell you Jer, you need to know exactly what happened because it might change how you see and feel about me. What happened to them was all my fault and I wish that I could go back in time to stop it, but I can’t” I told him softly as I slowly took my hands away from his which I could see in his eyes that it hurt him but I just needed to get this over and done with; I’d chicken out if he comforted me as I told him.
“I got into a fight with my parents one night because they wouldn’t let me go out with my friends on a school night, I was just so angry with them so I climbed out of my bedroom window to go meet up with my friends” I said to him as I looked down at my lap so I wouldn’t start crying in front of him even though he’s seen me cry a number of times; I just wanted to stay strong enough to get through this so he knew everything about my past because I didn’t want to keep holding this back from him.
“I was walking down the front path when I suddenly heard this strange noise so I turned around and I saw that my house was on fire, I was so angry that I caused my house to catch on fire. Everything happened so quick, my parents were trapped in the house and I tried to go back in for them but Leigh held me back” I said to him softly as the tears formed in my eyes and I couldn’t even look at him; I was just so ashamed of myself because I caused my parents death and I couldn’t do anything to help or save them.
“Paige you can’t blame yourself for what happened, it was a mistake because I know you and I know that you’d never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it” Jeremy said to me as he scooted closer to me as he wrapped his arms around my body and held me to comfort me; even though what happened was horrible I felt a weight being lifted off my chest because I told the most important person in my life about it.
“Leigh tells me that as well but I can’t stop blaming myself, I didn’t have the control on my powers that I do now. I should have been able to stop the fire but I couldn’t, I wasn’t strong enough to save my parents” I said to him but it was slightly muffled by the fact that I had buried my face into his chest as the tears started to roll down my cheeks; I didn’t want to cry about this anymore but I guess having just lost my Grandma then it’s still raw for me.
“Like you said baby you didn’t have the control of your powers then, so there was nothing you could do to save them. I didn’t know your parents but I know they loved you and wouldn’t blame you for what happened, so neither should you” Jeremy said to me as he held me against his body and rubbed my back soothingly which really did help me calm down; I inhaled a few deep breathes to calm myself down further and stop the tears.
“You’re way too understanding Jeremy, and thank you for not hating me or freaking out on me. I just needed to know what really happened to them, it’s why I hardly talk about them because I always get upset when I think about them” I said softly as I looked up at him as I wiped my eyes and nose while he kissed my forehead sweetly; in the back of my mind I knew that he’d understand and stand by me but I was still worried about what he’d think about me.
“It’s my job as your boyfriend to be understanding and amazing, besides I love you too much to leave you again. I did it once when I was being a tool, but I learnt from that experience” Jeremy told me as he looked down at me and kept his arms protectively around me; I was slightly stunned at what he just said because it was the first time he ever said he loved me but I couldn’t have been more happy about it.
“And you’re the most perfect boyfriend I could ever wish for, I love you too Jeremy” I said to him with a wide smile on my face after I let him think about what he said for a few seconds; but as soon as I saw panic start to form on his face after he realised what he said I quickly replied to him, letting him know that I did feel the same way.