Big Bad Handsome Man

I didn’t even know how to breathe at this exact moment. So many different emotions and memories were running through my head. Matt had to be lying; he had to be playing some sick joke on me right now. Why I didn’t know, but it couldn’t be real. Not after what we just did, it couldn’t be real.

“Your lying to me, this isn’t funny.” My voice was trembling.

A look of pure sadness crossed across Matt’s face. “I wish I was…”

I looked away from him, taking in deep gasping breaths. My chest was aching, tears were spilling from my eyes, this couldn’t be real. I just had my first time. My virginity… given to the one who kidnapped me… and killed my Father.

“Get out…”

“Kara…”

“GET OUT! GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW MATT!” I turned back towards him, my smaller hands smashing against his thick chest. “I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU! HE WAS ALL I HAD AND YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!”

I could hear the guys rushing up the stairs, but I didn’t care. I meant everything I was saying. My Father was all I had, and they took him from me. They were the reason I was alone, why Karen made my life a living hell.

“Kara please…”

“NO! I hate you, he was all I had and you guys fucking killed him! I hate you Matthew, I never want to see any of you again! I hope you all rot!” As I said the last part the door to the bedroom burst open. “I never want to see any of you assholes again! My Father was all I had and you killed him, you took him from me and made my life a living hell! I HATE YOU!” I burst into sobs, pulling my knees up to my chest. “I hate all of you…”

The bed lifted near my side, and I knew Matt had gotten up. I thought he actually gave some fuck about me, but it turns out I was probably nothing more than a joke to him; maybe even a little game to him. I actually had feelings for him as sad as it sounded. I loved him. I would’ve never thought I’d ever have those feelings for the one who kidnapped me, or I never thought he’d take my first time.

My nails were digging into my knees with each sob; I had never felt so much pain before. Just knowing that I slept with one of the men responsible for my Father’s death made me feel horrible. It felt like I had betrayed him somehow, and I would never forgive any of them for this.

“Kara please let us explain.” Jimmy pleaded.

“NO! I want all of you to leave me alone forever! I hate you all, I will never forgive you, I will make sure I see you all rot in jail!” I glared up at all of them, the anger in my voice even scaring me.

All of them sighed sadly before nodding, without another word they filed out of the bedroom, shut the door, and locked it. The sound of the door locking echoed through my head, only making me cry harder.

I would never forgive them.