Teehee TV

Rehtaeh: HELLOOO everyone! This is Rehtaeh, obviously. Well like, today WE’RE GONNA DO STUUUUUFF! You guys all voted! Shelby already forgot her clothes. That was actually an accident. That episode was supposed to be THIS episode, but that’s alright. Heh. TODAY WE’RE DOING TEEHEE TV IDOL!!

Crowd: *cheers*

Johnny: *limps on stage* Ugggghhhh

Rehtaeh: What happened to YOU?

Johnny: Brian beat me up because I accidentally crashed his car.

Rehtaeh: how do you accidentall- oooh never mind. I don’t want to know

Johnny: Hehehehehehehheehe!

Rehtaeh: Shut up.

Johnny: hey!

Rehtaeh: Anyways! Yeah, we’re going to have Teehee TV Idol!

Johnny: What?!

Rehtaeh: Yep! CC, Slash and Mick are the judges.

Johnny: …why?

Rehtaeh: BECAUSE I LOVE THEM AND I SAID SO!

Johnny: Don’t YELL at me!

Rehtaeh: I can if I WANT to!

Johnny: GRRR.

Slash: *shakes head*

Rehtaeh: oh whatever. So…. Who is going first?

*CRICKETS*

Zacky: MEEEEEE!!

Rehtaeh: Oh god. Ok.

Zacky: YES!

Jason: *puts on music*

Zacky: *starts singing* I uuuuuuuused to think! I had the annnnswers to EVERYTHIIIING!

But now I know! Life doesn’t always goooo myyyy waaaaaaaaaaaaaayeyeyeyeyeyeyey! Feels like I’m cauuuuught in da middllllle! That’s when I reaaaaaaaaaaaaalizzzzzzzze! I’m NO0OOOT A GIIIIIRL!

Shelby: NOOOO! *screams*

Zacky: not yet a woman!

Crowd: *sniggering*
Zacky: All I NEEEEED IS TIIIIIME! A moment that is MIIIINE! While I’m in BETWEEN! I’m not a GUUUUURL There is no need to PROOOOTECT MEEEEE! It’s time that IIIII Learn to face up to this OOOON MYYYY OOOOOWN! I’ve seen so much more than you know KNOOOOOOW! So don’t tell me to shut my EYYYYYYES!

Shelby: *curls up in a ball and covers ears*

Johnny: AHHH! *runs over to her and hugs her*
Shelby: hehehehehehehe

Zacky: I’M NOT A GIIIIIIRL! NOT YET A WOMAN!!!!!! ALL I NEEEEEED IS TIIIIME! A moment that is MIIIIIINE! While I’m in BETWEEEEEEN! I’m not a GUUUUUURL! But if you look at me closely you will see it in my eyes THIS GIRL WILL ALWAYS FIND HER WAAAAAAY!

Rehtaeh: ugh…

CC: Alright, stop, stop stop!

Slash: I have a headache.

Mick: *laughing ass off*

CC: just… go, Zacky.

Zacky: *walks off stage*

Rehtaeh: Alright! Since I’m the host, I say that SHELBY IS NEEEEXT!

Shelby: Hey, what?!

Rehtaeh: What are you gonna sing?

Shelby: KARMA CHAMELEON!

Jason: *starts music*

Shelby: *sings* IS THERE A LOVING IN YOUR EYES ALLLLLLLLLLL THE WAAAAAAAAY! If I listened to your lies would you saaaaay I’m a maaaan without conviction!!! I’m a maaaaaaan who dooooooooesn’t knooooooooooooow hooooooow to sell a contradiction YOOOOU COOOOOOME AND GOOOOOOOO YOU COME AND GOOOOOOOOOO!

CC: oh geeze…

Shelby: *sings* KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMEEEELEOOOOON! You come and GOOOOOO you come and GOOOOOOOOOO!!Loving would be easy if your colors were like my DREEEEEEEEAAAMS! Red gold and greeeeen! Red gold and GREEEEEN!

Didn’t hear your wicked words every DAAAAAAAAY! And you used to be so sweet, I heard you SAYYYYYY that my looooove was an addiction! When we cliiiiiiing our love is strooooooong! When you gooooo you’re gone foooooreverrrrrr! You string aloooooong you string alooooooon!

Vallon: *runs out*

Shelby&Vallon: *sing*KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEOOOOON! YOU COME AND GOOOO YOU COME AND GOOOOOOOOOOO!Loving you would be easy if your colors were like my DREEEAAAAMS! Red gold and greeeeen red gold and greeeeen!

Vallon: uuuh *runs off stage*

Shelby: *sings* Everyday is like survival you’re my lover not my rival!! EVERY DAY IS LIKE SUUUUURVIVALLLL! *sings with Brooklyn accent* YOU’RE MY LOOOOVERRRR NOT MY RIVALLL!

I’m a maaaaaaaaaaaaan without convictiooooooooon I’m a maaaaaaaaan who doesn’t knoooooow how to seeeellllll a contradictioooooooon you come and GOOOOOO YOU COME AND GOOOOO!

Slash: *sneezes*

Shelby: *glares, but sings* KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON!! You come and gooooo you come and GOOOOOOOOOO!Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams. RED GOOOLD AND GREEEEN RED GOLD AND GREEEEN!KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON! YOU COME AND GOOOO YOU COME AND GOOOOOOOOOOLoving would be so easy if your colors were like my DREAAAAAAAAAMS RED GOLD AND GREEEEN RED GOLD AND GREEEN! KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON YOU COME AND GOOOO YOU COME AND GOOOOOOOOOO!!!Loving would be easy if your colors were like my DREEEEEEEEEEEEAMS RED GOLD AND GREEN RED GOLD AND GREEEEN! KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON! YOU COME AND GOOOOOO!

Crowd; *cheers*

Rehtaeh: *pulls ear plugs out* That was awesome Shelby!

Shelby: thank yoooou!

Johnny: *kisses Shelby*

CC: GRRRRRRRRR!

Rehtaeh: So anyways… who’s next?!

*awkward silence*

Rehtaeh: SIXX TOMMY AND GUNNER ARE GONNA SING LEATHER PAAAANTS!

Crowd: *cheers*

SixxTommyandGunner: *walk on stage and picks up microphones*

Gunner: *walks over to the side of the stage*

Tommy: Sixx, I know how we can defeat the pharaoh once and for all

Sixx: let me guess, we’re going to challenge him to a children’s card game?

Tommy: No! We are going to steal from him the source of his power, and then we will use it against him!

Sixx: His millennium puzzle?

Tommy: Foolish, fool! The puzzle is not the source of his power. His power comes from his leather pants!

Sixx: seriously?

Tommy: Yes! Come Sixx; let us attain his leather pants!

Sixx: I guess I had nothing better to do today.

Jason: *starts music*

Sixx: Oh-oo-wo-oh-wo-oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho let’s take his leather pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh let’s take his leather pants!

Ha ha, ha ha ha, Mwaha, ha ha ha, da la, la la la. We want his leather pants! GaGa, Rah rah rah, na na, flah flah flah, la la, cha cha cha, take off is leather pants!

Rehtaeh: *dancing*

Tommy: I’m getting ready, my legs have been waxed. Cause when we get them I am wearing your slacks right on my tush. Tush tush tush right on my tush. (tush tush tush right on my tush) Hey! We want your trousers, your breeches your chaps, no you can’t get these pants from shopping at Gap. Their service sucks. Sucks sucks sucks it really sucks! (sucks sucks sucks it really sucks)

Sixx: you know that we want them and you know that we need them. We want the pants! Your leather pants!

Tommy: Me and Nikki we will have our revenge. Him and me will take your leather pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Me and Nikki we will have our revenge, him and me will take your leather pants!

Slash: *laughing*

Tommy: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Lets take his leather pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Give us the effing pants!! Blah blah, blah blah blah, da da, pa pa pa, ya ya, mama mia! We want those leather pants! We don’t want vinyl or chinos or briefs, I am a criminal and he is a thief cause we’re both hot. Hot hot hot we are quite sexy

Sixx: Tommy that doesn’t rhyme.

Tommy: shut up! I AM LADY GAGA! I have watched psycho and liked vertigo. The Birds was ok. Ooo! I loved Rear Window. By Alfred Hitchcock. Cock Cock Cock. We love Hitchcock. (cock cock cock) we love Hitchcock.

Sixx: And you know that we want them and you know that we need them. We want the pants, your leather pants!

Tommy: Me and Nikki we will have our revenge, him and me will take your leather pants. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh me and Nikki we will have our revenge him and me will take your leather pants.

Oh-oh-whoa-ah-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho we want those leather pants! No-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah, let’s steal his leather pants. Tah tah, mah mah mah, bah bah, wah wah wah, zah zah, vah vah vah, Take off his leather pants! Gah gah, rah rah rah, na na, flah flah flah, la la, cha cha chah, I like these silly noises

Sixx&Tommy: wear wear leather baby, work it move your tush it’s sexy, wear wear leather baby, work it move your tush it’s sexy, wear wear leather baby, work it move your tush it’s sexy, wear wear leather baby work it.

Tommy: I’m an evil bitch, baby! We want your pants and we want our revenge, we want your pants and we’re really just friends. Je voudrais son pantalon cuir son pantalon. Why am I speaking French? Why am I speaking French?! I don’t want to be French!! We want your leather pants! Take off your friggin pants! Me and Nikki we will have our revenge him and me will take your leather pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh me and Nikki we will have our revenge, him and me will take your leather pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh we want the freaking pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh lets get his leather pants! Let’s take his leather pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Take off those friggin pants! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh remove his effing pants! Let’s take his leather pants! Ha ha, ha ha ha ha, mwuha, ha ha ha, ga ha, ha ha ha,

Tommy: *picks up leather pants and shows them to Sixx* We got the leather pants! At last the source of the Pharaoh’s power! His leather pants! They belong to meeee!

Sixx: you mean us?

Tommy: don’t be difficult, fluffy. Only one of us can wear the pants.
Sixx: Oh, Tommy. Though I have to say, I had no idea you were this keen to get into the Pharaoh’s pants.

Tommy: you know what? On second thought, you put them on.

Gunner: What in the name of Ra is going on? Why did you remove my trousers?

Tommy: It’s over, pharaoh! Now we are the ones wearing the pants on this show!

Sixx: *puts pants on* Yes, behold! Now the true source of your power is clamped tightly around my buttocks! *not facing crowd and shakes his butt*

Gunner: What? Don’t be absurd. My leather pants are not the source of my power!

Tommy: Wait, what? They’re not? But it was so friggin’ obvious!

Gunner: no, no no. I’m afraid my power comes from my leather shoes!

Tommy: No! This cannot be! There aren’t even any Lady Gaga songs that rhyme with shoes! Curse you Pharaoh!

Sixx: I really do like the pants *dancing*

Tommy: yes, they do look good on you.

Gunner: can I have those back now?

Sixx: No.

Gunner: *sings* can’t beat my can’t be my no you can’t beat my leather shoes. I have got some leather shoes. Can’t beat my, can’t beat my, no you can’t beat my leather shoes. I have got some leather shoes. Le-le-le leather shoes le-le leather shoes. I’ve got some shoes. Le-le-le leather shoes le-le leather shoes. I’ve got some shoes.

Crowd: *cheers*

SixxTommy&Gunner: *walk off stage*

Rehtaeh: that’s gonna be stuck in my head for a while. Next up is Johnny!

Johnny: What?! I don’t wanna siiiiing!

Rehtaeh: That’s too effin bad Johnny!

Johnny: Well then you have to sing too!

Rehtaeh: no I don’t!

Johnny: That’s not fair!

Rehtaeh: I DON’T CARE I AM GODDESS! I RUUUULE YOOOU!

Johnny: *crosses arms*

Rehtaeh: love you Johnny. *hands him microphone*

Shelby: WOOOOT GOO JOHNNYYYYYYYY

Jason: *starts music*

Johnny: U-uhhh *blush* heh. *sings really quietly* tonight my head is spinning. I need something to pick me up. I’ve tried but nothing is working I won’t stop. I won’t say I’ve had enough. Tonight, I start the fire. Tonight, I break away. Break! Away from eve- Ya know what? I can’t do this! *runs off stage*

Rehtaeh: awe… poor Johnny… *giggle* anyways, it’s Jason’s turn!

Jason: *runs out and picks up microphone* YAAAY! *sings* Doom doom doo doom doom, doom doom do DOOM, DOOOM doom do-doom, DOOM do-doom doom doooom, doom doom dooom, do-do-DOOOM! Doom doom doo doom doom, DOOMY-DOOMY-DOOM, doom do do DOOM, Do do DOOM, doomy-doomy-doomy, Doom doom doom THE END

Crowd: *crickets*

Rehtaeh: very nice. Next up, Ted Rawr, Our camera man!

Ted: *walks up* ugh…. Yo, why you crampin mah style?!

Rehtaeh: what?

Ted: move it!

Rehtaeh: *runs off*

Jason: *starts music*

Ted: *raps* oh shit shake that ass ma move it like a gypsy stop whoa back it up now let me see your hips swing oh shit shake that ass ma move it like a gypsy stop whoa back it up now let me see your hips swing now drop it low and let me see your hips swing down to the floor now let me see your hips swing now drop it low and let me see your hips swing down to the floor now let me see your hips swing. Uh oh lean back girl you got some mean racks, you got a mean ass and I really mean that. But can’t you see that I need a girl that can m- *music gets cut off*

Ted: YOO!

Rehtaeh: go back to your camera. That’s a lil’ inappropriate. Slash, Mick, get up here!

Slash&Mick: *sing REALLY BADLY* DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA DOOOON WE NOW OUR GAAAY APPAREL FA LA LA, LA LA LA, LA LA LA TROLL THE ANCIENT YULE TIDE CAROL FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA. SEE THE BLAZING YULE BEFORE US FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA STRIKE THE HARP AND JOIN THE CHORUS, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! FOLLOOOOOW ME IN MERRY MEASURE FA LA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA WHILE I TELL YOU OF YULE TIDE TREASURE FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA HAIL THE NEW YE LADS AND LASSES FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA! SING WE JOYOUS ALL TOGETHER, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA HEEDLESS OF THE WIND AND WEATHER, FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA!!!!

Rehtaeh: RONNNNNIIIIIE COME SING FOOOOR US!

Ronnie: ok!

Rehtaeh: hands him microphone*

Jason: *starts music*

Ronnie: *sings* Kelly, can you handle this Michelle can you handle this Beyonce can you handle this I don’t think they can’ handle this whooo better move cause we’ve arrived lookin sexy lookin fly. Baddest chick chick inside DJ jam tonight spotted me a tender thing there you are come on baby don’t you wanna dance with me can you handle handle me you gotta do much better if you’re gonna dance with me tonight you gotta work your jelly if you’re gonna dance with me tonight. Read my lips carefully if you like what you see move groove prove you can hang with me by the looks I got you shook up and scared of me buckle your seatbelt, it’s time for takeoff. I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly, I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly, I don’t think you’re ready for this cause my body’s too bootylicious for ya babe!

Crowd: *cheers*

Rehtaeh: nice Ronnie. *laughs*

Ronnie: You love it. *walks off stage*

DJ: *runs on* I think Rehtaeh should sing!

Rehtaeh: no.

DJ: yes

Rehtaeh: no

DJ: please? *puppy dog eyes*

Rehtaeh: *sigh* fine… but… I’m not singing.

DJ: what? That doesn’t make sense

Rehtaeh: Yeah… I was trying to confuse you. Did it work?

DJ: no.

Rehtaeh: …do I have tooo? *whines*

Johnny: You made ME sing! So yes!

Rehtaeh: fine… after Nikki.

Nikki: Yay! It’s my tuuuurn!

Sixx: good luck, darling.

Jason: *starts music*

Nikki: *sings* oooh I had a lot to saaaaay was thinking on my time awaaaaay. I missed you and things weren’t the saaaame cause everything inside! It never comes out right and when I see you cry, it makes me want to die. I’m sorry I’m bad, I’m sorry you’re blue, I’m sorry bout all the things I said to you and I know I can’t take it back. I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round and I just wanted to say I’m sorry.

Jason: *ends music*

Crowd: *cheers*

Rehtaeh: That was… *teardrop* …AMAZING!

Shelby: yeah beef!

Nikki: thanks! *skips off*

DJ: ok Rehtaeh. Your turn.

Rehtaeh: ughhhh….

Jason: hehehehehe *starts music*

Rehtaeh: *half sings, half talks* no matter where you go a piece of me will fo-

DJ: stop the music!

Jason: *stops music*

DJ: that wasn’t singing.

Rehtaeh: *glare* …fine.

DJ: hehehee.

Jason: *starts music*

Rehtaeh: *sings uber quiet* no matter where you go a piece of me will follow, no matter where you stay, I’ll be there. If you’re feeling low just always remember that anytime you close your eyes I’ll be there. Soon someday and somehow I know we’ll be back home together. Every day is someday in my mind. *stops*

DJ: keep going…

Rehtaeh: ugh. *sings uber quiet* no matter what you do I’ll always respect you, no matter what you say I’ll be there. I thought that you should know, know that there will never be anybody like you in my life again. Soon someday and somehow I know we’ll be back home together every day is someday in my mind. And one day I’ll find a way the two of us will be together. Every day is someday in my mind. *stops*

DJ: ok, we couldn’t even HEAR that, but whatever.

Jason: *ends music*

Rehtaeh: Ok… CC your turn!

CC: Mmmmkay! *gets onstage*

Jason: *starts music*

Sixx: NOOOO!

CC: *sings* kneel down ye sinners to streetwise religion. Greed’s been crowned the new King Hollywood’s dream teens Yesterday’s trash queens save the blessings for the final ring - amen. Take a ride on the wild side. Wild side. I carry my crucifix under my death list forward my mail to me in hell liars and the martyrs. Lost faith in The Father long lost in the wishing well. Take a ride on the wild side!

Jason: *ends music*

Rehtaeh: *laughing* That was awesome!

CC: why thank you

Rehtaeh: ok, next up is Craig Mabbitt and Monte Money singing Love the Way You Lie!

Jason: *starts music*

Monte: Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. Well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry. Well, that’s alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.

Craig: I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like and right now there’s a steel knife in my windpipe. I can’t breathe but I still fight while I can fight. As long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight. High off love, drunk from my hate, it’s like I’m huffin’ paint and I love it. The more I suffer I suffocate and right before I’m about to drown she resuscitates me she fuckin’ hates me and I love it. Wait where you goin? I’m leaving you. No, you aint come back we’re running back here we go again. It’s so insane cause when it’s going good it’s going great. I’m superman with the wind at his back. She’s lois lane but when it’s bad it’s awful I feel so ashamed. I snap “Who’s that dude?” I don’t even know his name I laid hands on her I never stoop so low again I guess I don’t know my own strength

Monte: Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. Well that’s alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry. Well, that’s alright because I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie.

Jason: *ends music*
Rehtaeh: Ummm…. That was great! Craig, PLEASE don’t become a rapper.

Craig: haha…. I won’t.

Rehtaeh: good.

Nikki: Did you hear what she said about you?!

Craig: what?

Nikki: She said she’d fu-

Rehtaeh: *covers her mouth* SHHH!

Craig: heh. Hehehehehehe!

DJ: *glare*

Rehtaeh: awe, baby don’t be jealoooous! *kisses his cheek*

DJ: *sigh*

Rehtaeh: you’re so cute!

DJ: hehehehehe! I love yoooou!

Rehtaeh: I love you toooo!

DJ: I love you moooore!

Rehtaeh: noooo

DJ: Yessss

Sixx: SHUT UP!

Rehtaeh: fine, Mr. Dumb Head

DJ: Mr. Dumb Head?

Sixx: lame ass

Rehtaeh: well you have a big ass

Sixx: why are you lookin?!

Rehtaeh: I have rights! Ok anyways, up next is Brian, singing Pieces of MEEEEEE!

DJ: *hugs Rehtaeh*

Shelby: *laughs at Brian’s song*

Brian: On a Monday I am waiting, Tuesday I am faaaaaaaaaaading! And by Wednesday I caaaaan’t sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Then the phone rings I hear you in the darkness there’s a clear view! You’ve come to rescuuuue meeee! Fall! for you I fall so faaaaaast!!!! I can hardly catch my breath! I hope it LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTS! OOOOOOOOH! It seems like I can finally rest my head on something REAAAAL I like the waaaaay that feeels!!! OOOOOH! It’s as if you know me better than I ever knew MYSEEEEELF! I LOOOOVE HOW YOU CAN TEEEEELL ALL THE PIECES! PIECES! PIECES OF MEEEEE! ALL THE PIECES! PIECES! PIECES OF ME!

Jason: *stops music*

Crowd: ….um.

Rehtaeh: BAHAHAHA THAT WAS GORGEOUS! Next is….. Idk. Shelby?

Shelby: I believe it’s Kristofer Queen with RAIN IS A GOOOOOOOD THIIIIIING! That song is funny. Idk why!

Jason: *starts uber country music*

Kris: My daddy spent his life lookin up at the sky. He’d cuss kick the dust sayin son it’s way too dry. It clouds up in the city, the weather man complains. But where I come from rain is a good thing. Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky. Back roads are boggin’ up, my buddies pile up in my truck. We hunt our honeys down, we take ‘em into town. Start washin all our worries down the drain, rain is a good thing!

Jason: *stops music*

Everyone: WOOOOOOOOOOO! WE LOOOOOVE RANDOM COUNTRY SOOOONGS! Not really. But KRIS IS AWESOME!

Rehtaeh: *yawns* it’s getting laaaate…. Next up is Casper Fuzz!

Jason: *starts more music, getting bored*

Casper: They see me mowin my front lawn! I know they’re all thinking I’m so white n nerdy! Think I’m just too white n nerdy! Think I’m just too white n nerdy! Can’ y ou see I’m white n nerdy? Look at me I’m white n nerdy! I wanna roll with, the gangsters But so far they all think I’m too white and nerdy. I’m too white n nerdy. Think I’m just too white n nerdy. Think I’m just too white and nerdy. I’m just too white n nerdy. Really really white n nerdy. First In my class here at MIT got skills I’m a Champion of DND MC Eschner that’s my favorit MC keep your 40. I’ll just have an earl grey tea. My rims never spin to the contrary you’ll find they’re quite stationary. All of my action figures are cherry. Steven Hawkings in my library. My myspace page is all totally pimped out. I got people begging for my top 8 spaces. Yo I know Pi to a thousand places aint got no grills but I still wear braces I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise I’m a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days. Once you see my sweet moves you’re gonna stay amazed my fingers movin so fast I’ll set the place ablaze. There’s no ki-

Jason: *stops music and yells* LALALALALA!

Casper: uh. *leaves*

Rehtaeh: JASON!

Jason: What?

Rehtaeh: *sigh* WHYYY did we hire him?

Johnny: I forgot.

Rehtaeh: Loser.

Johnny: *gasp*

Rehtaeh: baha! Next up is JAMES MICHAEL.

Cc: Ew, James is gross.

Rehtaeh: …SHUT UP DEVILLE!

CC: I like glitter.

Rehtaeh: *whisper* I swear he’s gay…

CC: I am not!

Rehtaeh: mhm.

Jason: *starts music*

James: sugar sugar mmm…ooooh. She sits alone waiting for suggestions he’s so nervous avoiding all her questions. His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding. Don’t you just know exactly what they’re thinking? If you want my body and you think I’m sexy come on sugar let me know. If you really need me just reach out and touch me. Come on honey, tell me so. He’s acting shy, looking for an answer. Come-on honey, let’s spend the night together. Now hold on a minute before we go much further. Give me a dime so I can phone my mother. They catch a cab to his high rise apartment. At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant. If you want my body and you think I’m sexy come on sugar let me know. If you really need me just reach out and touch me. Come on, honey, tell me so.

Jason: *stops music* WONDERFLU

Rehtaeh: Jason shut up. That was great, James!

James: *skips off*

Rehtaeh: next is… Matt Berry.

Jason: WOOOOT EVERYONE VOTE FOR MAH BRUDDAH!

Rehtaeh: … he hasn’t sung yet.

Jason: DON’T care.

Rehtaeh: I know who I’m voting for. *winks at Craig*

Jason: shut up. *starts music*

Matt: *sings* Closed off from love, I didn’t need the pain once or twice was enough and it was all in vain. Time starts to pass before you know it you’re frozen. But something happened for the very first time with you my heart melted to the ground found something true. And everyone’s lookin round thinking I’m going crazy. But I don’t care what they say, I’m in love with you they try to pull me away but they don’t know the truth. My heart’s crippled by the vein that I keep on closing. You cut me open and I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love. I keep bleeding. I keep keep bleeding love. Keep bleeding. Keep keep bleeding love. You cut me open.

Jason: *ends music* YEAH MAAAAN VOTE FOR MATT!

Matt: *walks off*

Rehtaeh: shut up Jason.

Jason: ok.

Rehtaeh: next is Marissa and Jacoby! Singing Hollaback Girl!

Marissa: *drags Coby up*

Coby: I’m NOT fucking doing it.

Marissa: yes you are.

Coby: no.

Marissa: YES NOW SIIIIING!

Jason: *starts music*

Jacoby: *sighs and sings* Uh huh, this is my shit. All the girls stomp your feet like this

Marissa: *sings* a few times I’ve been around that track so it’s not just gonna happen like that cause I aint no Hollabak Girl I aint no Hollaback girl.

Jacoby: *sings* A few times I’ve been around that track so it’s not just gonna happen like that cause I aint no Hollaback girl I aint no hollaback girl.

Marissa: *sings* this my shit, this my shit. This my shit this my shit.

Jacoby: this my shit this my shit. This my shit this my shit. I heard that you were talking shit and you didn’t think that I would hear it. People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up.

Marissa: so I’m ready to attack gonna lead the pack. Gonna get a touchdown gonna take you out. That’s right, put your pom poms down, getting everybody fired up.

Jacoby: a few times I’ve been around that track so it’s not just gonna happen like that

Marissa; cause I aint no hollaback girl, I aint no hollaback girl.

Jason: *ends song*

Rehtaeh: YAAAAY!

Coby: I’m gonna go die now. *leaves*

Marissa: BAI! *skips off*

Shelby: Um……. OMG WE HAZ A SURPRISE FOR YOOOOOU!

Rehtaeh: YAAAAY!

Shelby: ADAAAAAM LAAAAAMBERRRRRT! MY LOOOOOVE!

Adrian: MYYYY LOOOOOOVE!

Shelby: excuse me?

Adrian: bitch.

Shelby: pshhh.

Rehtaeh: GLAAAAM!

Adam: REHTAEEEH!

Shelby and Adrian: ahem.

Glam: SHELBYYYYY AND ADRIIIIIIAAAAAAN!

Rehtaeh: baha! He likes me best!

Shelby: you wish.

Rehtaeh: I KNOW.

Adam: I love everyone. Especially Bill.

Bill: Hi Adam! *waves from crowd*

Adam: Hiiii Biiiiiiiilly!

Random Person: who’s Bill?

Adam: *gasp* THE CUTEST GUY EVAH!

Rehtaeh: ANYWAYS, Adam is gonna sing us a SOOOOOOOOOONG!

Adam: yeeeep!

Jason: *starts sexy music of sexiness aka FEVERRR*

Adam: *sings hotly and sexily dancing*There he goes
My baby walks so slow
Sexual tic-tac-toe
Yeah I know we both know
It isn't time, no
But could you be m-mine?
We'll never get too far
Just you, me and the bar
Silly ménage a trois, sometimes
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?
Oh baby, light's on
But you're mom's not home
I'm sick of laying down alone, hey
With this fever, fever, yeah
My one and own
I wanna get you alone
Give you fever, fever, yeah
There it goes
You stole my so and so
'Cause, sweetheart
No-no-nobody a-kno-kno-knows me
Or can find
Time to be m-mine, mine

Let's get inside your car
Just you, me and the stars
Kind of menage a trois, sometimes
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?
Oh baby, light's on
But you're mom's not home
I'm sick of laying down alone, hey
With this fever, fever, yeah
My one and own
I wanna get you alone
Give you fever, fever, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
You burn me, burn me up
Baby yea, yea
baby you're mine
Baby you're mine,
mine,
you're mine

Oh baby, light's on
But you're mom's not home
I'm sick of laying down alone
With this fever, fever, yeah
My one and own
I wanna get you alone
I got this fever that I can't sweat out
Oh baby light's on
But you're mom's not home
I'm sick of laying down alone
With this fever, fever, yeah
My one and own
I wanna get you alone
Yeah give you fever, fever yeah
Give you my f-f-fever my f-fever
Give you my f-f-fever my f-fever
Give you fever, fever, yeah
Give you fever, fever, yeah!

Everyone in the UNIVERSE who isn’t LAME:: *cheering like crazy*

Fangirls/fan boys: OMG ADAAAAM!

Shelby&Adrian: back off! He’s OURS! *glomps Glam*

Adam: AHH! I love you guys too! I love you ALLL! Especially Bill!

Bill: Love you too!

Crowd: awwww!

Random Homophobic: Ew….

Shelby: *slits his throat*

Rehtaeh: *throws meat cleaver at his head*

Johnny: PLEASE don’t arrest us.

Rehtaeh: hehehe! I like killing people… *demented creepy grin*

Shelby: if anyone insults my glam again…!

Adam: Shelby… it’ll be ok.

Shelby: LIES! Omg he said my NAAAAME! *faint*

Adrian: say MY name!

Adam: Adrian.

Adrian: oooooh! *faint*

Rehtaeh: woooow. *hugs Glam* HEYYY!

Johnny: well, we gotta go. VOOOOTE! Well, When Rehtaeh puts the poll up. Lazy hoe.

Rehtaeh: EXCUSE ME! *gets meat cleaver*

Johnny: you know I love you

Rehtaeh: I’M CUTTIN OFF YOUR *DJ has censored this*

Jason: HEY I’M ON THE SOUNDBOARD!

DJ: too bad.

Rehtaeh: RAAAAAH! *chases Johnny* this episode was LOOOONG. Like Tommy. Well excuse me while I chop off Johnny’s *DJ has censored this*

Jason: DJ GO AWAY!

DJ: NEVERRRR!

Jason: Vote for Matt!

Rehtaeh: BAIIIII SEXIES!

Glam: I love Bill.

*END OF EPISODE*