Status: In Progress

Teehee TV

Episode Eighteen

Rehtaeh: Hello everyone! This is Teehee TV. Yeah. Episode…what? 18 right? Yeah.

Shelby: I LOVE RONNIE RADKE.

Johnny: AHEM.

Shelby: Oh I love you moooooore

Ronnie: I’m gonna remember that!

Rehtaeh: yeah, in therapy.

Ronnie: …shut up.

Rehtaeh: *sticks tongue out at Ronnie*

Jason: *from behind stage* are we gonna get on with the show?!

Rehtaeh: *yells* NO! WE WILL WHEN I SAY WE WILL!

Johnny: Uhhhh…. How about we just continue with the show?

Rehtaeh: DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Johnny: *blink*

Rehtaeh: anyways, so…. What were we talking about?

Shelby: Um… we were talking about my love for Johnny.

Rehtaeh: Ew. Change of subject.

Johnny: Um…. So Rehtaeh, what are we doing on our show today?

Rehtaeh: making out with DJ would be nice.

DJ: Yes it would!

Rehtaeh: but that’s not what we’re doing.

DJ: darn.

Rehtaeh: I’m not making porn with you!

DJ: DARN!

Rehtaeh: shut up!

Johnny: WE’RE ON AIR YOU KNOW!

Rehtaeh: I know!

DJ: heh. Heh. Aheh.

Sixx: Dude. That’s disgusting.

Johnny: Can we just introduce our guest stars?

Rehtaeh: SUUUUURE! Today we have Nikki Sixx, DJ Ashba, James Michael and Tommy Lee here!

Johnny: and what are they going to be doing?

Rehtaeh: DANCING!

Johnny: No they’re not…

Jason: *starts music*

DJTommyJamesNikki: *start dancing*

Rehtaeh: W00000T! Ok, no that’s not what they’re doing.

Jason: darn. *stops music*

Rehtaeh: THEY’RE SHOWING US THEIR NEWWWWW SHOOOOOOOES! And promoting Sketchers.

Johnny: What? Sketchers? REALLY?

Rehtaeh: I don’t like Sketchers either, but they’re paying us a BUTTLOAD to promote them. They’re shoes are AWESOME! *looks around*

Johnny: NO they’re not!

Rehtaeh: … tard, yes they are.

Johnny: since when?

Rehtaeh: did you ask our accountant?

Johnny: we have an accountant?

Rehtaeh: *face palm* Yes, Johnny. We HAVE an accountant…

Johnny: …oooooohhhh……

Rehtaeh: Anyways, let’s start with THOMAS LEE BASS.

Tommy: YO MAAAAAN. Check out my hot new kicks! They are literally, HOT! And now I’m literally kicking! *kicks Johnny*

Johnny: AHH! *grips leg and falls over*

Rehtaeh: BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I mean, be more careful Tommy. *starts laughing again*

Johnny: Thanks Rehtaeh.

Rehtaeh: What shoes are they, Thomas?

Tommy: they are HOT LIGHTS! They light up!

Johnny: I thought those were for like, eight year old boys.

Tommy: *sings* NOT ANYMOOOOOORE!

Rehtaeh: alrighty then. James, what about you? What are YOUR new shoes?

James: Mine are the BEST.

Rehtaeh: well?

James: They are…………….. Jason, please drum roll

Jason: *clicks drum roll button since he fails at drums… even though he plays them*

James:TWINKLE TOES!

Everyone: *awkward silence*

Johnny: Aren’t those for eight year old GIRLS?

James: *sings like Tommy* NOT ANYMOOOOOOOOORE!

Rehtaeh: …. Why is my husband friends with you?

James: because I rock.

Rehtaeh: *rolls eyes* Alright, Nikki, you’re next

DJ: oh, I see how it is!

Rehtaeh: I’m saving the best for last. Now hush.

DJ: ehehehehe.

Nikki: Yeah whatever, you know I’m the best.

Rehtaeh: shut up. Just tell us about your shoes.

Nikki: Well, mine are awesome because they’re high tops!

Johnny: …. Weren’t those also for girls?

Nikki: JOHNNY if you don’t shut UP I SWEAR TO GOD!

Johnny: sorry. I’ll stop.

Rehtaeh: ehehehehehehe! Nikki Sixx is wearing giiiiiirl shooooooes!

Nikki: they’re black ok?!

Johnny: … and pink.

Rehtaeh: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA!

Nikki: THAT’S IT! *picks up Johnny and walks out*

*huge awkward silence and everybody stares at door*

*crickets chirping*

*very faint scream*

Rehtaeh: Um… anyways! DJ, it’s YOOOOOOUR TUUUUUURN!

DJ: Yaaaaaaaaay! *runs over and hugs Rehtaeh*

Rehtaeh: … PDA! *pushing DJ while DJ tries to kiss her cheek*

DJ: I just want to kiss your cheek!

Rehtaeh: PDAAAAAAAAA!!!

DJ: alright, alright.

Rehtaeh: so, tell us about your shoes, Daren.

DJ: wow, they’re call pretty talls, because I’m the shortest in our band. Well, Tommy’s not in my band, but he’s taller than me.

Rehtaeh: …. I’m taller than you.

DJ: no you’re not!

Rehtaeh: shut up! Pretend! Just agree with me!

DJ: ok ok I agree!

Mick: Someone’s whipped.

DJ: ….. What?

Mick: …. What?

DJ: WHAT?!

Rehtaeh: shut up. You’re dumb.

DJ: thaaaaaaanks.

Rehtaeh: so….

Johnny: *walks back in with very large colorful hat on looking around scared*

Rehtaeh: …. Uh Johnny? Why are you wearing that hat?

Johnny: UHHHH what hat?!

Rehtaeh: the one that is obviously on top of your head. The very BRIIIGHT COOOOLORFUL HAT.

Johnny: I’m not wearing a hat.

Rehtaeh: *goes to take hat*

Johnny: Doooooooon’t!

Rehtaeh: why not?

Johnny: Sixx did a terrible thing.

Rehtaeh: What did Nikkipants do to you?

Johnny: Nikkipants? Really?

Rehtaeh: yep! What’d he do?

Johnny: I don’t wanna say it in front of everybody!

Rehtaeh: It’s either you tell us or I take the hat.

Johnny: but I can’t tell you!

Rehtaeh: *goes to take hat*

Johnny: AHHHH!

Rehtaeh: TELL UUUUUUUUUUS!

Shelby: Just take the hat!

Johnny: thanks Shelby.

Rehtaeh: come here short person!

Johnny: I’m taller than you!

Rehtaeh: no. I’m taller than DJ! He’s taller than you!

Johnny: you’re not taller than DJ!

Rehtaeh: yes I am. *takes Johnny’s hat*

Johnny: AHHH! *hides head*

Rehtaeh: WHAT DID HE DOOOO?!

Shelby: OMG! Why does your head say Sixx rocks?!

Rehtaeh: BAHA! He shaved your head?!

Johnny: and now it says… Sixx rocks! Which isn’t true!

Nikki: Hey I heard that!

Rehtaeh: Nikkipants! Come out here and apologize to my JOHNNEHWONNEHKINZ.

Shelby: I’m sorry to break the news to you like this Rehtaeh, but he’s mine.

Rehtaeh: oh, I know. *wink*

Shelby: what?

Rehtaeh: Idk. Nikkipants! Here! Now!

Nikki: *walks over hanging head*

Rehtaeh: Look what you did to Johnny.

Nikki: *looks at Johnny, then starts laughing*

Rehtaeh: do you think this is FUNNY?!

Nikki: yeah.

Rehtaeh: apologize, Nikkipants.

Nikki: stop calling me that!

Rehtaeh: Nikkipants Nikkipants Nikkipants Nikkipants Nikkipants!

Nikki: If you stop calling me that I will apologize.

Rehtaeh: Alright, I’ll stop.

Nikki: Johnny

Johnny: *hiding behind Rehtaeh* yes?

Rehtaeh: *whispers* You’re shoooort

Nikki: I’m……………………

Johnny: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?

Nikki: ………………..sorry that I’m cooler than you.

Rehtaeh: NIKKI SIXX!

Nikki: ok ok, I’m sorry.

Rehtaeh: that’s what I thought.

DJ: you sound like his mom.

Rehtaeh: OMG I SOUND LIKE A REALLY OLD LADY?!

Nikki: Aheh. Aheh. Aheh.

Rehtaeh: *kicks Nikki, then hugs DJ*

Shelby: JOHNNY I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

Johnny: *blush* I love you too

DJ: *dances*

Rehtaeh: really? Again?

DJ: Yep!

Rehtaeh: ugh.

Shelby: *Dances*

Nikki: *trips her*

Shelby: HEEEEY! YOU’RE SUCH A SENIOR CITIZEN!

Nikki: But I’m sexy.

Shelby: No. not really.

Nikki: You wouldn’t know, you like ugly guys like Johnny.

Shelby: …………. Can I kill him?

Rehtaeh: no, me and Nikki are the only hot people here. You can’t kill him.

DJ: what about me?!

Rehtaeh: you’re sexy, there’s a difference.

DJ: hehehehehehehehe.

Shelby: Well I’m going to kill him when he’s least expecting it because Johnny is BEAUTIFUL.

Rehtaeh: ….sure.

Johnny: thanks…

Rehtaeh: ily!

Ronnie: I’m bored, why is this show so BORING?

Rehtaeh: well, why don’t YOU liven it up.

Ronnie: I AM livening it up.

Rehtaeh: … you’re just sitting there!

Ronnie: exactly. Just sitting here is more exciting than this.

Rehtaeh: I’ll make it better.

Ronnie: I’m waiting.

Rehtaeh: *knocks Ronnie over and kicks him in the leg*

Audience: *cheers*

Ronnie: You guys are retarded and lame, I’m out of here.

Rehtaeh: NOOO WE LOVE YOU!

Ronnie: YOU’RE GAY! *stomps out*

Rehtaeh: NOOOOO! COME BAAAAAAAAACK!

Ronnie: I’m bored! *stomps out again*

Rehtaeh: dumb head.

Ronnie: I heard that!

Rehtaeh: get back here and face me like a man! A wimpy man!

Ronnie: I’m LAZY!

Rehtaeh: RONALD JOSEPH RADKE YOU GET YOUR FAT ASS BACK IN HERE BEFORE I TELL YOUR DAD YOU’E UNMANLY!

Ronnie: oooh I care so much.

Rehtaeh; *dials number*

Ronnie: *rolls eyes* ok whatever, I’m leaving.

Rehtaeh: security!

Security guards aka Max Bemis & Kevin Bacon: *blocks doors*

Ronnie: ok, seriously?!

Nasty: *from audience eating popcorn* There’s a window over there *points over there*

Rehtaeh: it’s bullet proof…

Ronnie: well I’m not a bullet.

Rehtaeh: YOU CAN’T OPEN BULLET PROOF WINDOWS.

Ronnie: … well that’s retarded. I’ll just shoot through it.

Rehtaeh; IT’S BULLET PROOF!

Ronnie: oh yeah…

Nasty: try breathing on it. Maybe if you say the right magic word it’ll open.

Rehtaeh: *looks at Nasty* don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?

Nasty: Not until four o’clock.

Rehtaeh: *face palm*

Shelby: wooooooow

Rehtaeh: *tackles Ronnie*

Ronnie: I was trying to say the right magic word.

Rehtaeh: there IS no magic word. *pokes Ronnie’s nose*

Ronnie: that is SO lame!

Nikki: can we get back to me now?

Rehtaeh: … you want me to tackle you?

Nikki: Uh, no.

Rehtaeh: than no. I wanna beat someone up, and Ronald is a good candidate.

Ronnie: screw you.

Rehtaeh: that’s what I have DJ for.

Ronnie: screw DJ then.

Rehtaeh: oh, I will.

DJ: *blush* uhhhhhhhh!

Rehtaeh: you love it.

Shelby: ewwww! *hugs Johnny randomly*

Johnny: awwwwwwwwe!

Rehtaeh: …. You’re boring Ronnie.*kicks him*

Nikki: can we PLEASE get back to me?

Jason: Let’s DANCE! *turns on baby I like it by Enrique Igelesis*

Nikki: LETS GET BACK TO MEEEEE!

Rehtaeh: alright, alright.

Jason: no way, we’re dancing.

DJJames&Tommy: *dancing*

Nikki: NO. WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ME!

Rehtaeh: alright, guys, stop dancing for a minute.

Jason: but baby I like it!

Rehtaeh: *slaps Jason*

Jason: ok ok, I’m sorry. *turns off music*

Everyone else: awe man.

Nikki: anyways, about me…

Rehtaeh: what do you wanna talk about?

Nikki: Let’s talk about how hot I am.

Johnny: boooo!

Nikki: WHY YOU- *chases Johnny*

Johnny: AHHHHH!

Nikki: *takes out razor*

Johnny: NOOOOOOOO!

Nikki: *tackles Johnny and shaves part of his leg so it says Nikki was here*

Johnny: You’re girlfriend was on my leg?!

Nikki: *writes S next to it*

Johnny: You’re girlfriend was STILL on my leg?!

Nikki: *writes I next to it* She’s my FIANCE!

Crowd: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe!

Rehtaeh: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Nikki: SHUT UP I’M SEXY.

Rehtaeh: Whatever Nikkipants.

Nikki: *glare*

Rehtaeh: hehehehehehehhehe! *kisses DJ*

Tommy: I wanna dance!

Rehtaeh: SHUT UP I’M KISSING MY HUSBAND!

James: get a room! You sound like Nikki!

Rehtaeh: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!

James: I’m sorry.

Rehtaeh: *kisses DJ*

DJ: *blush* heeeeeeeheeeeeeheeee….

Rehtaeh: that wasn’t creepy or anything…

Jason: *turns on The Flood*

Everyone but Ronnie: *dances*

Ronnie: *glares at Shelby*

Shelby: sorry. You know I hate Craig, don’t worry.

Rehtaeh: CRAIG MABBITT IS SEXY! I’D TOTALLY FU-

Craig: *walks out*

Ronnie: ew.

Nasty: ew.

Rehtaeh: CRAAAAAAAAIG. Hi. *hugs Nasty*

Nasty: I’m not Craig.

Rehtaeh; you wish you were.

Jason: *turns up music* DANCE!

Rehtaeh: *dances with DJ* We’re gonna go now… seeing as this episode was completely pointless and weirder than usual.

DJ: let’s get a roooooooooom

Rehtaeh: no.

DJ: awe.

Shelby: let’s go to my dad’s car Johnny!

Johnny: ok!

CC: What?!

Shelby: we better run!

Shelby&Johnny: *runs out*

Rehtaeh: *tackles DJ randomly*

Nikki: remember… I’m sexy. Oh yeah, I love you Nikki *side smile of Nikkiness*

Crowd: AWWWWWWWWWWWE!

Rehtaeh: *making out with DJ*

Jason: *plays* BABY I LIKE IT!

*episode ends