My Boy Hood

After he found out about my gender, Sam just sat at the table thinking for a bit. Dad decided it was best that he left, there was a formal party that will happen tonight and he needed to get Sam a tux. Sam tried to stop him at first, but Dad was decided that it was something he needed for the party, and that was when Sam shut his mouth. Dad left, and Sam seemed to speak to me, “So your mother is threatening your reputation if you don’t agree to her wishes?”

“Something like that…” I said, resting my elbows on my knees, staring at the floor.

“There’s more?” he asked.

I sighed, “With her, it’s complicated. If everyone found about me, that’s one thing, but if they knew I was Ronda Johnson’s daughter, it’ll make her look bad.”

“That makes no sense. Why would she threaten your reputation when it will only ruin her own?”

I just stared at the ground sadly. I felt his lingering stare, but I never answered him. This question was starting to raise memories from the past, and I didn’t want to think about them. I closed my eyes, and I blocked the images that tried to flow behind my eyelids, “Maybe you’ll see tonight.”

I looked up, feeling my eyes opening up to Sam some. He was my friend, and I knew this secret was going to bring our friendship to a different level for the good and bad. He still didn’t know me that well though. I couldn’t bring myself to even start talking about myself.

I heard myself snort, “There’s no way…”

I stood, and Sam stood up quickly also, “Nick? I mean Nickole?”

I’d never tell him the nightmare I had when I was a child, never. Even if he knew my secret, I couldn’t let him get close to me like that. I couldn’t let him into that part of my past. It was a sheering nightmare, and I wanted to forget it all. “Nickole!” I heard Sam bust into my thoughts.

I gasped, and stared into his blue eyes, which held a hint of worry. What the hell was wrong with me? I brought a hand to my head. I’ve never acted like that before. “Are you okay?” Sam asked gently.

I figured I better just stick with the truth, “Not really…”

He didn’t see I was going to press the issue, “Why don’t we watch some TV?”

The suggestion was random, but I was so up for it. We sat on the couch and watched MTV until Dad came back with the tuxedo. “Alright, Nickole, take your shower first since you’ll take the longest. We’ll be done before you are probably.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I muttered, heading upstairs.

I took my shower and I departed into my room. I stared at the dress as I pulled it out from the box. It was black and simple. I looked in the box at the shoes, which happened to be heels. I made a face at them, I hated heels, but it wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter. I put them aside, and I started getting busy.

I’ve worn wigs before, that was only during my dance competitions though, and they got really hot. It was a good thing I had short hair, so I only had to get all the hair away from the front of my face. The wig seemed to have already been styled, so that saved me a headache. I slipped on the dress shortly after doing the hair. I grabbed the make-up the box provided and went over to my dresser mirror.

I had to admit, it was weird staring at myself in the mirror. I was so use to dressing like a boy that I sort of looked at myself as one. I started working with the make-up. I put it on light, and when I got done, I took in my new image.

I gasped as I looked at the unfamiliar girl in the mirror. I couldn’t believe how simple make-up can bring a girl out. My eyes looked brighter, and my lips, they were full, almost kissable. I snorted, joy of being a girl. I heard a knock on my door, “Nicky, you need to hurry, the limo’s here.”

I grabbed the heels and put them on. God, it’s been forever since I’ve worm them. I did a quick walk in them, and left the room. I came to the top of the stairs, where Dad was waiting at the bottom of the steps. He smiled when he saw me. “Sam, check her out.”

When I reached the bottom step, I saw Sam trying to fix his tie. When he looked up, he blinked. “Nickole…?”

“Yeah?”

Dad interrupted, “Come on, we got to go.”

He pushed me outside, and was followed by Sam. We got in the limo and took off. I sat silently and still, playing with my hands. I was getting kind of nervous. I didn’t know what to expect at this party and I wished I could go home.

When the limo stopped, the door on my side opened. Flashing lights were seen, and as I stepped out, I saw that they were flashing lights from photographers. Dad and Sam stepped on out after me. Dad started walking forward, “You two stay together.”

Sam was by my side, “So what do you say?”

“About what?” I asked.

He grinned, “Ready to crash the party?”

I could see the shine of excitement in his eyes, I couldn’t help but grin back while grabbing his arm, “You know it.”

We walked forward and soon the photographers were flashing their lights at us and some realized I was Ronda Johnson’s daughter. Sam stayed by my side as we walked in, and things calmed down a little. The party was about to begin, and I knew this would be the only night for a long while that I can be true to myself.