Keep Your Heart Wide Open.

Gianna did not know what to do as she stared at the blonde haired boy standing in front of her. She was now more than fully aware of her disheveled appearance. The hair on her head was barely brushed, hanging in front of her eyes, which were bloodshot with tears threatening to give in at any second. Her lips were chapped and broken from her biting them, her skin about two shades paler than normal. She listened to the sound of her breathing, her chest rising rhythmically every few moments.

Joel did everything he could to avoid looking at the vulnerable girl who stood in front of him. He instead stared straight down at the floor, his bare feet suddenly becoming the most interesting aspect of the room. His appearance too, was less than usual. His hair a mess, his eyes tired. Slightly puffy, if Gianna did not know any better, she would have thought he had been crying. After what seemed like an eternity, Joel looked up.

He moved slowly, trying to pass by Gianna. She scoffed and thrust her arm out, stopping him. She shook her head and looked directly into his eyes. For the first time, she hated the green staring back at her.

“Where are you going?” She asked, trying to holding her voice as steady as possible. Joel rolled his eyes, and ran a hand through his hair. “What it’s to you, anyway?” Gianna still stood frozen in her spot, her hands forming slight fists. She mentally tried to convince herself that this was all a dream. That any second now someone would pinch her, or Joel would shout “April Fools!” and this could all be laughed over. But no one pinched her and Joel stood in front of her quietly, staring at her.

“I really think we need to talk.” Her voice was now barely louder than a whisper, her strength dwindling. She bit her bottom lip, trying to force the tears back just a tad bit longer. Joel continued to look at her, waiting for her to go on.

“How could you?” Her voice quivered, her once impenetrable barrier coming down. Joel scoffed and shook his head feverishly, wrapping his hands behind his neck. “Are you serious? Do you really think I…you know what, never mind.” He went to turn and walk away back towards the rear of the bus, but Gianna grabbed his wrist.

“For someone who once told me that they were always straightforward with people, you sure give off some mixed signals.” He bit his lip and moved closer to her, hovering over her small frame.

“Really? Explain.” Gianna laughed, and inched closer to him as well. “I need to explain? You tell me you are straightforward and I can’t make sense of anything that you do. You take me out, you look at me, you kiss me, and then you bring home some girl and do God knows what? How is that being straightforward, Joel?”

By this point both of them had emotions that were out of control and they were both growing angrier and angrier by each passing second. Joel sighed and looked at Gianna. “Why are you putting this all on me? You’re not innocent either, Gianna.” She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“For someone who once told me that they were always honest with people, you sure are a first-class liar.” Gianna closed her mouth and looked into his eyes.

“When did I lie to you?” Joel brushed the fallen hair out of his eyes and scratched the back of his neck before responding. “You said there was nothing going on between you and Garrett. Yet you were all over him at that party. Where I’m from, we don’t call that honesty. We call it dishonesty.”

It was Gianna’s turn to defend herself and she shook her head. “I didn’t lie. I was only dancing with him because you—“ She trailed off, not wanting to finish her sentence. “You know what, I’m not explaining the truth to you.” Joel looked up at the ceiling and flailed his arms angrily. “Then you don’t deserve my explanation either. You don’t deserve any of it.”

Gianna let a few tears fall and she stayed glued to her spot. She was growing weaker and weaker, ridiculously close to a breakdown. “What do you want me to do?” Joel shook his head, inching closer. “You barge in here to talk and you rip me apart. There’s nothing left to do.”

She shook her head. “I can’t believe you are making me the bad guy. This is life. You can’t always play the victim, Joel." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I don’t think I can deal with this anymore.”

An icy atmosphere took over the room and they stared at each other silently, before Joel spoke up.

“Well then maybe you should just leave then. We’d all be better off without you anyway.”

His words stung her more than any blow she had ever received. Her hand instinctively moved to her cheek, as if she had been slapped. “You know what? Maybe I will.” Without another word she spun around on her heel and walked to the front of the bus. She thrust the door open and walked outside.

Joel stood in his spot, his breathing fast paced and jagged. He backed up slowly to the bunks, sitting down. He closed his eyes and threw his head back against the wall, swallowing the gigantic lump in his throat.

Gianna walked back to The Maine’s bus, her eyes tearing. There was no point in holding back the tears anymore. There was nothing left. She was torn apart. Why try to stop the inevitable?

She opened the door, running up the steps. Luckily, there was no one around. She immediately ran to her bag, packing. She stopped tossing stuff inside and stood still. She threw her body into her bunk and thrust her face into her pillow. She couldn’t care less whether the pillow muffled her sobs or not as she let it all out, her body moving up and down.

Joel had made it clear that there was no point in her staying. And right now, Gianna had to agree.