Changing Your Stars

Today was a girl’s day. Dani, Cams, Val and I were spending some much needed ‘boyfriend free’ time together. And yeah I mean all of us. It’s early October which means Val and Matt have been together for officially…forever, Zacky and I a little over a month, Dani and Jimmy about a month and Cams and Bri are going on uhhh…I think like two or maybe three weeks? Anyhow we had all decided that we would spend our day at the beach baking ourselves to a crisp.

I was picking up Val and then meeting Dani and Cam at their house. I pulled up to Val’s house and climbed out fixing the plain black strapless cover up dress I was wearing over my bikini. If the guys had been coming along I wouldn’t have dared wear my bikini, although it was my favorite. It was a black halter top that tied at the neck and at the back with matching low rise bikini bottoms. Oh yeah…they have fucking kick ass rhinestone skulls covering them. What? Badasses can’t like rhinestones?

I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. What I didn’t expect was to see Zacky. He leaned against the door frame his eyes raking over me slowly. Warmth pooled in my veins as he looked at me. “I’ve never seen you in a dress….I like it.”

I forced my hormones down and rolled my eyes. I looked annoyed, which was amazing cause I was far from it. No way could I be around Zacky and be annoyed, just didn’t happen. Still I had to keep his ego from swelling to the likes of Bri’s. “Yeah well don’t get use to it.”

I loved the way his entire face lit up when he smiled. It kind of made me feel all mushy inside. “I promise I won’t.” He leaned back to check out my ass. “Although fuck me if you aren’t fucking hot as hell in one.”

I rolled my eyes grinning as I pushed past him and into the house. “Why are you here anyhow? Today is no boyfriend day.”

He laughed. “Cause I’m taking Matt home.” The confusion I was feeling must have been evident on my face. “We crashed here last night.”

“Oh.” Yeah it’s lame but it’s all I could safely say. Val was cool, had no problem with Zacky chillin with her, but I didn’t like her sister Michelle. Zacky was oblivious to it but she all but panted when he came around. From what I could gather she had dated Bri once upon a time, but now it seemed she had her eyes set on my man. “Got drunk after band practice huh?”

He chuckled, “Something like that.”

I was trying to play it cool, keeping my voice calm and aloof. But I was panicking inside; people did stupid things when they were drunk. Don’t get me wrong it’s not like I didn’t trust Zacky, cause I do. I didn’t trust Michelle further then I could see her though. “What does that mean?”

“It means what you think.” He said as he flopped down on the couch and pulled me down into his lap. When I frowned he kissed the side of my mouth. “What’s wrong?”

I shrugged. “I just wish you wouldn’t do that without me around is all.”

It was Zacky’s turn to frown in confusion. “Why?”

I chewed my bottom lip trying to figure out how to put what I was feeling. “Sometimes things get out of control and you do things you might regret when you’re thinking straight.”

His frown deepened as he moved so he could look at me while we talked. “You don’t trust me?”

I shook my head no. “It’s not you I don’t trust.”

God he was cute when he was confused. “What the fuck are you talking about woman?” He was beginning to get annoyed; I could hear it in his voice.

“Michelle.” One word, that’s all I felt I needed to say.

I wouldn’t have thought it possible but he looked even more confused. “What the fuck about her?”

“She likes you.” I blurted. Not the smartest thing to say or the most tactful way to say it but there it was.

He laughed…hard. “You’re fucking crazy, you know that?”

He had been teasing but it went right through me. “No I’m not, she does.” My voice came out a little harder then I had meant it to. I saw its effect on Zacky, his eyes hardened ever so slightly.

His voice, when he spoke, held a hard edge to it. “Yeah okay Kinzi.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to fight with him. I definitely didn’t want her to be the reason for our first one. But it was coming, I could feel it. I pushed away from him and twisted in his lap so I could face him. “Why don’t you trust me?” Again not the smartest choice of words but I rarely think before I speak now a days.

A bitter unpleasant laugh left his perfect lips. “Real fuckin rich. I don’t trust you when you’re the one sitting here thinking I’ll fuck the first girl I see when I’m fucked up.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. I was pissed that he was taking this all wrong. “That’s not what I said.”

Zacky glared right back at me. “It’s what I fuckin heard.”

“Well then open your ears and fucking LISTEN!” I yelled the last part without meaning to really. I was just getting so frustrated at him, at myself for even bringing it up. I knew I shouldn’t, but I hadn’t been able to stop myself.

Zacky got up effectively dumping me onto the floor. “I’m not going to fucking sit here and listen to your jealous bullshit about my friend. If you trusted me you wouldn’t fucking care if she was parading around this fucking house naked. It’s that fucking simple.”

I sat there on the floor stunned as I watched Zacky walk out of the living room. I heard him holler for Matt to have his ass out in one fucking minute or he was walking and then the slamming of the front door. What…what the hell had just happened? One minute he was telling me I looked hot and then the next I was sitting on the floor with a most likely bruised ass.

What sounded like a herd of elephants making their way down the stairs turned out just to be Matt, who dashed out the door before his ride left him. Val appeared in the doorway a short while later. “Hey, you alright?”

I stood up and brushed my ass off. No, my heart was killing me. “Yeah.”

She raised a brow clearly not buying my pathetic attempt to lie. “So Zacky seemed kinda pissed when he left.”

I didn’t look at her as we headed out to my car. “Yeah that would be my fault.”

Val looked at my sympathetically as she got in the passenger seat. “What happened?”

Turning the key I backed out and headed towards Dani and Cams. What the hell was I suppose to say now? I said your sister would try to take advantage of him given the chance? Yeah that would go over well. So I opted to shrug my shoulders. “I couldn’t leave well enough alone.”

“Wanna talk about it?” She asked as I pulled into their driveway.

I shook my head. “Nah.” It took a little effort but I made my voice sound chipper. “I want to enjoy the day chillin with my girls.” I even managed a fake smile that didn’t look fake.

The smile that Val flashed me on the other hand was real. “Soaking up some rays will make you feel better, promise.”

I sighed. “I sure hope so.”

Later that day…

Val had been right. Soaking up some rays had done wonders for my mood. Well that and having the three best friends a girl could ask for. Oh yeah a cooler full of spiked cokes didn’t hurt either.

Val turned her head to look at me from her beach blanket. “So are you going to talk about what happened between you and Zacky?”

Of course that had Cam and Dani’s attention. Dani propped herself up on her elbows. “You guys fighting?”

I sighed and rolled onto my back. “Yeah I guess.”

Cam lowered her oversized glasses to look at me. “What over?”

I groaned. How was I supposed to explain this with Val there? “I uhhh..told him I’d rather he not get fucked up without me around.”

Val frowned. “Why? It’s like their second favorite thing to do. And Zacky is the best behaved out of them all even when he is.”

I sighed again resisting the urge to rub my temples. “I know.”

Cam was now sitting up Indian style. “Then what’s your issue?”

“Yeah don’t you trust him?” That was from Dani.

I laid my arms over my eyes, like that could stop this conversation from happening. “Of course I trust him! Its other girls I don’t trust.”

There was a snort of agreement from all three of my friends. We all knew how some of the girls around town are. Our guys are hot AND in a band, that was just asking for trouble. Val was the one who had been dealing with this the longest. “How do you do it Val?”

Val flipped onto her back and was silent for a little while, thinking. “Matt and I have been best friends since like elementary. We’ve been through a lot of shit together and I know he loves me as much as I love him. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other.”

I wanted that. I wanted someone I knew loved me unconditionally, but would I recognize it if I saw it finally? “So you guys think I should just trust him?”

“I have no idea seeing as how Brian is my first boyfriend.”

I just looked at Cams. Her FIRST boyfriend? Really? “No way.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say? Usually boys don’t get my humor and wit.”

“No one does.” Dani teased.

Cam flipped off Dani. “Fuck off princess.”

Dani smiled wide and blew Cams a kiss. “Loves you too!”

I got up and pulled another coke out of the cooler. Pouring half of it into my already empty bottle I grabbed the ‘ice tea’ bottle that really held good old Captain. I filled the bottle the rest of the way with the rum and shook it just enough to mix it well. “Anyone else need a refill?” I laughed as I got handed three empty bottles.

The rest of afternoon went a lot like that, we talked, we drank, and we just had fun. Before we knew it, it was time to leave. Packing things up, we headed back to the car. Cam and I both just opted to throw on some jean shorts; mine were a little shorter and frayed to hell compared to hers. Dani had thrown on a long yellow cover up dress that matched her yellow one piece perfectly. We had tried to convince her to wear a bikini but she hadn’t been having it. She thinks she’s ‘too big’ for one. Insert eye roll here. She’s beautiful, something I’ve heard Jimmy tell her many times. Val also had thrown on a short black cover up dress over her red two piece.

All of us climbed into the car. We were about to leave when a car parked beside us and all of the guys climbed out of it. Jimmy immediately jumped onto the hood. “Let’s go surfing!”

“Get the fuck off my car!” Cam hollered out the driver’s side window.

Jimmy got on his hands and knees bringing him face to face with Cam through the windshield. “Release my woman and I will.”

Cam looked back at Dani. “You better get him off this car or I’m putting it in reverse and hitting the gas.”

The moment Dani climbed out of the car, Jimmy was off the hood and kissing the day lights out of her. I rolled my eyes. “Guess we’re staying.”

“Looks like it.” Val agreed as she climbed out of the car.

Cam put the car in park and got out as well leaving me alone in it. With a sigh I climbed out. Jimmy and Bri were racing down towards the beach. Dani was on Jimmy’s back, Cam on Bri’s. I felt a pang of jealousy as I watched the happy couples disappear laughing.

Val and Matt were following them much slower due mostly to the fact that Matt was carrying a refilled cooler. I swear that guys biceps are bigger then my thighs. My heart dropped as I realized Zacky wasn’t with them. Was he really still that mad at me? Deciding to bite the bullet and just ask, I jogged up to Matt and Val. “Did you forget someone?”

Matt looked a little uncomfortable with both Val and I staring at him. “Uhhh…Zacky had family shit he had to do. I don’t think he’s making it tonight.” He gave me an adorable apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

‘Never let them see you hurting.’ That was the motto I had lived my life by for the past six years. I forced a fake ass smile onto my face. “It’s okay, not your fault.”

I fell back after that little exchange with Matt. He was lying, I was sure of it. Zacky just didn’t want to be around me right now. I hadn’t honestly thought it was that bad of a fight, guess I was wrong. He doesn’t want to see me. The thought crushed me as I followed them.

He doesn’t want to see me.

I fought the urge to rub at the pain in my chest. How could six little words hurt so much?