Changing Your Stars

I adjusted my costume for the millionth time. “This is fucking stupid. I look ridiculous.”

Dani stuck her tongue out at me. “You do not! You look hot.”

“Whatever.” I mumbled as I let myself take one last look at the pathetic excuse for a costume
I had let Dani pick out for me. This is what I get for being lazy I guess.

“Cam come tell her how hot she is!”

I groaned. I was so going to be out numbered on this one.

Cam came trotting in wearing her sexy tea party outfit, complete with garter belt, stockings, and top hat. It was just the kind of thing that Bri would no doubt appreciate…a lot. Hell any guy with eyes would for real. “Well in her defense I told you to get her a black one not a pink one.”

“What’s wrong with pink?” Dani pouted as she adjusted her Alice in Wonderland outfit. Again I was betting her and Jimmy wouldn’t last an hour without disappearing for a little while thanks to her costume. I mean could she even bend over in it?! I swear Jimmy was becoming a horrible influence on this once ‘good girl’.

“Nothing if you don’t mind looking like a bottle of pepto threw up on you.” Dani had gotten me this pink fairy costume that laced up the front, had a pink tutu like bottom, and of course, matching wings. Add to it they stuck me in pink heels and you get why I’m not happy. I swear I look more like a hooker then anything.

“Oh hush! You do not!”

“Ten bucks says that Zacky gets lucky tonight.” Cam added with a smirk.

I snorted. “He wishes.” And so did I, a little, if I was being honest. It had been three weeks since our fight and things were finally back to normal. Okay well mostly, there was definitely still tension between me and Michelle.

“If what Jimmy says is true he’s going to die from blue balls soon.”

I stared at Dani as Cam bust up laughing. “THEY TALK ABOUT THAT STUFF?!” I screeched.

Cam rolled her eyes at me. “DUH. I mean he is after all the only one not getting any.”

I just blinked at my two best friends. I knew Jimmy and Dani had turned into rabbits shortly after they started dating, and well it was a given with Matt and Val since they had been together for like EVER, but Bri and Cam? They’d only been together for like a month and last I knew she wasn’t in a hurry to do the horizontal mambo with him. “You had sex with Brian?” I blurted out in disbelief.

Cam’s face turned pink slightly as her shy side, one I’d never seen before, made an appearance. “Yeah.”

I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. Holy shit when had this happened?! “When?!”

“You know how Brian gave me a ride home from school yesterday?” I nodded and she continued. “Well he wanted to swing by and pick up his guitar from his house so he could head straight from mine to band practice without having to back track…”

“And?...” I urged.

“Well he ended up showing me around his place and his parents weren’t home so we decided just to hang there until practice. And well one minute we were watching tv, and the next…” She let her sentence trail off as she shrugged.

“OH MY GOD! I can’t believe I’m the last fuckin virgin up in this joint!”

An evil look lit up Cam’s face. “I’m sure Zacky would love to fix that for you.”

I smacked first her and then Dani.

“HEY! What was that for?! I didn’t say anything!” Dani whined as she rubbed the spot on her arm I had just hit.

“It’s for snickering.” I looked at the clock. We had promised Val we would come over early and help her get ready for the party. Her parents were out of town and so of course she was going to throw one hell of a blast. The only down side to this, is that meant Michelle was also going to be there. “Come on ladies we’re going to be late.”

A few minutes later the three of us were piled into my car and heading over to Val’s.

Later that night…

It was midnight but the party was still in full swing. There were so many people here that it was kinda hard to move around. Which is saying a lot cause Val’s house isn’t small. I was in the kitchen reaching up to grab yet another bottle of Jack down when I felt strong arms wrap around my waist, followed shortly by warm lips pressed against my throat.

I bit my tongue to keep from letting a small whimper escape my lips. God I did love the feel of Zacky’s snakebites against my skin. The coldness of them always caused a chill to run down my spine. It was a chill I was starting to love.

“You know you’re fucking killing me in that.” Zacky whispered huskily against my ear causing yet another shiver to race down over my body. In true Zacky nature he chuckled as he felt it.

Turning in his arms I looked up into his beautiful green eyes. Granted right now they were glassy from alcohol, but they were still amazingly emerald green. In the two months we had been together I had come to realize that emerald was a dangerous color. It was the color of his anger and lust. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which one he was feeling right now. Deciding to be slightly evil I smirked up at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Is that so?”

He used his lips to answer me but not with words. His kiss was hungry and slightly sloppy from the alcohol but I still couldn’t help but respond in kind. I moaned into his mouth when he deepened the kiss. My tongue dueled with his the taste of cigarettes and Jack an intoxicating mix I would have never dreamed could taste so good. Then again maybe it had less to do with that and more to do with the boy who tasted like it.

His hands roamed up and down my back before resting on my ass. When he pulled me to him it seemed to kick our kiss up to a whole other level. It was so much more intense than any other kiss before. It had single handedly wiped any and all thought of stopping this out of my head.

“Get a fucking room dude.”

Matt’s voice cut through the passion induced haze I was in enough to have me pull away from Zacky slightly. I say slightly, cause I could only go as far as he would let me, and yeah, that wasn’t very far. I expected him to be pissed at being interrupted but instead he just grinned at Matt. “Excellent idea bro.”

Before I knew what was happening I was in Zacky’s arms, being carried bridal style through the hallway and up the stairs to the second floor. I was half afraid of being dropped the way Zacky was stumbling slightly, he had had more to drink then I had thought. “Put me down you big ogre!” I commanded. Of course it didn’t come out as stern as I had hoped, my giggle kind of ruined it.

“Sure.” He replied as he tossed me down on a bed before jumping on top of it and me, himself. He gave me his bad boy grin. “Now where the fuck were we before we were so rudely interrupted?” He pretended to think for a second. “Oh yeah…here.” Do you have any idea how hard it is to remember WHY you’re not having sex when your hottie boyfriend is kissing you senseless? IT’S HARD. Let me just tell you.

I ran my fingers through his hair as he kissed his way down my neck. “Zacky…”I breathed now that he had finally let me come up for air. I meant it as a warning but I guess my breathless tone gave him a different impression. I felt his hand running slowly up my thigh until it was dangerously close to the no fly zone. I pulled on his hair hard enough to hurt a little. It served its purpose and then some.

“What the fuck was that for?” He growled as he pulled back to look down at me.

“I’m not ready.” Yeah that was my weak ass voice that barely could be heard. As a matter of fact I almost thought he hadn’t.

It was too dark in the room for me to see his face, but I heard his sigh of annoyance. “We’ve been together for two fucking months. How much longer are you going to make me wait?”

I shrugged and then realized he probably couldn’t see me either. “I don’t know.”

Zacky flopped onto the bed beside me obviously annoyed. The silence that followed was deafening.
Finally I had to say something. “Why don’t I get us more drinks?”

“Whatever.”

The coldness of his voice hurt more than I thought it would. I climbed out of the bed chewing on my bottom lip in indecision the entire time. Just because I wasn’t ready for it didn’t mean we couldn’t do something, right? Pausing at the doorway I gathered my courage and spoke. “When I get back maybe we could try something? Ya know just like not it though.” Before I could hear his response I ducked out of the room, shutting the door behind me.

I almost ran into Michelle and some guy as I made my way down the stairs I so was so distracted about what I was about to do. Did I mention she had on a ‘fairy’ costume too? I swear I was starting to think she wanted to be me or something. Anyhow I had gotten our drinks and was heading back upstairs when some random dude stopped to chat me up. Deciding not to be rude, and yes stall a little, I talked to him. I only meant for it to be for a few minutes but every time I tried to leave he would always come up with something else to talk about. He was one of those people you just couldn’t get away from. Finally like a half hour later I just straight up said bye and ducked under his arm. Slowly I made my way up the stairs, hesitating when I reached the door.

Youcandothisyoucandothisyoucandothis…you can do this.

I opened the door about to speak when I heard the moaning and grunting of a couple going at it like hard core. “Oh shit sorry.” I mumbled wondering if I had the wrong room or if Zacky had left. I was in the process of closing the door highly embarrassed when I heard it.

“Fuck.”

I stopped dead at the grunt. I knew that voice. It sounded like…

I flipped on the light switch.

The drinks slipped from my hands but I didn’t notice. There on the bed was Zacky and Michelle. Both of them had turned to look at the intruder. Zacky looked pissed while Michelle just smirked. My eyes filled with tears as my heart shattered around my feet.

Without uttering one word I turned and fled the room. I ran down the stairs, ignoring all the looks I was getting. I heard my name being called out but I didn’t care. I just had to get away.

Never let them see you cry.

I didn’t stop running until I got to my car. Thank God I had parked on the street so I hadn’t gotten parked in. I threw the car in gear and stomped on it. As soon as I was in it I broke down, tears streaming down my face as I drove.

I don’t know how long I drove for. I could barely see the road through my tears the clock was impossible to see through them. I screamed as a young boy came out of nowhere. Yanking the wheel to the right I avoided the boy but went up over the curb and smack dab into a tree.

One second I was in the car the next I was on the ground staring up into the little boy’s face. He had light hair and eyes, like Neil’s. It took a minute to realize it was my baby brother Neil. “Neily…”

He kneeled beside me running his hand through my hair but I couldn’t feel it. “Shhhh…help is coming.”

I tried to speak only to cough up blood. I could hear the distant voices of worried people surrounding me. Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. “No. I want to go with you.”

“It’s not your time Kinny.”

“Please.” I begged. No one here loved me, I was alone. At least with Neil I wouldn’t be alone any longer.

Neil looked back over his shoulder. “I have to go.”

“Please don’t leave me.” I whispered as I watched him fade slowly away.

Tears flowed harder once he was gone until I thought I might drown in them. I closed my eyes and let my body and mind succumb to the blackness that offered peace. For the second time in my life I prayed to God for him to end the pain that was it.

Maybe this time he would answer my prayer…