Changing Your Stars

My heart went out to the boys.

They had been so excited about tonight. Tonight was their night to take over and show everyone that they were serious about this. They were going to rock this joint, this was their big break and they choked. It was bad, I’m not going to lie.

But the pathetic part was that I had still been captivated by Zacky on stage. He was a whole different person on there. His cute cocky nature was just pure cockiness on stage and good lord it did a whole hell of a lot of something for me.

Of course now he was just straight pissed. I grabbed his guitar before he did something he regretted later. “How the fuck did this happen?”

“Fuck if I know.” Brian grumped.

“That was a fucking joke.” Matt said sounding disgusted with their performance.

“Come one guys, it wasn’t that bad.” It really wasn’t. I had seen worse, a lot worse.

Of course all five of the guys just turned to glare at me that I was the world’s biggest idiot. “It wasn’t.” I protested meekly.

“Like you would know.” Zacky of all people huffed at me.

Those four little words just set me off. “Yeah I fuckin would actually.”

“You know I love you Pix but what the fuck do you know about music?” Jimmy asked as he twirled a drumstick.

“Plenty.” I growled crossing my hands over my chest. I should leave right now before my temper got the best of me. But did I? Hell no.

Brian laughed. “No offense but you wouldn’t know an acoustic guitar from an electric guitar unless you were told.”

“So? Doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about the music industry.” They all laughed like I had said something funny but I was getting angrier by the second. I hadn’t told anyone who my dad was for a reason but I hated the way they were talking to me. What was worse was that all my ‘girl friends’ must not want to argue with their men cause they all stood there silently.

“Yeah okay babe.” Zacky said in this tone that let me know he was just placating me.

“You know what Zacky? Fuck you.” I said flipping him off and then storming off.

I fumed as I made my way out of the club. I had been so close to telling them exactly who and what I knew but then it would change everything. As soon as people found out I went from being Kinzi to Rick Rubin’s daughter. I paused once I got outside, what the hell was I going to do now? I had ridden with Zacky here and as of right now no one was coming after me.

Fine. I’ll walk home. Wrapping my arms around myself I headed in the direction of my home. It was far enough away that it was going to take most of the night to walk there. Great fucking idea Kinzi. Yeah I mentally scold myself from time to time. I was about halfway home when a car slowed up beside me. I looked over and immediately recognized Zacky’s car.

“Babe. Get in.” Zacky ordered through the rolled down passenger window.

I, of course being the mature adult I am, didn’t even look over at him as I continued to walk straight ahead.

“Real mature Kinzi. Now stop acting childish and get in the fucking car.” He growled.

I looked over rolling my eyes at him. “Yeah that’s really going to get me in that POS. Good thinking Zack you know me sooo well.”

“God damn it! Just get in the fucking car and you can yell at me all you want.” He yelled obviously frustrated with me.

“Fine.” I only got in the car because the lights in the house I was standing in front of it suddenly came on.

Zacky reached over and picked up my hand, intertwining our fingers. “Listen I’m sorry. I was pissed cause we did horribly and I took it out on you.”

I let out a deep sigh because I knew that I had over reacted. I was blaming PMS myself; damn it did suck being a girl once a month. “I owe you an apology too. I completely over reacted.”

Zacky gave me his infamous bad boy grin. “So I’m sorry and you’re sorry. You think Will’s out so we can ‘make up’ properly?”

I smacked him playfully as I feigned outrage. “ZACHARY JAMES BAKER! I am not that kind of girl!”

“A man can dream can’t he?” He replied with a chuckle.

I was about to give him a playful tongue lashing when his cell phone went off. I picked it up for him and saw the caller id said ‘mom & dad’. “It’s your parents.” I explained handing him the phone.

With a slight grumbled he answered it. “I’m on my way home now. I have Kinzi with me.”
I frowned when he frowned. Whatever his parents were saying he wasn’t happy about it. “What the…what is she doing there?”

I had to chuckle when he caught himself about to swear and had to back pedal. It didn’t last long as his mood steadily grew sourer.

“Her parents are there too? …Okay fine I’ll hurry up and drop off Kinzi and then I’ll be home.”
He hung up and all but threw his phone down. “Stupid fucking bitch!”

I blinked. “Excuse me? What the fuck did I do now?”

Zacky sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Not you babe, Michelle.”

I immediately stiffened at the name. I had never hated anyone, not truly until I had met her. I had heard through the grape vine that while I laid in a coma she was busy trying to take my place. Zacky had been so devastated that he hadn’t even noticed her.

“What does she want?” I asked trying to keep my voice calm and even. The exact opposite of what I was feeling on the inside.

“I don’t fucking know but she showed up at my house crying and now her parents are there.”

This didn’t sound good at all. Every single warning bell I possessed was shrieking at full blast. She was up to something again. I knew it. “Oh.” Was all I could get out.

“Yeah.”

We drove the rest of the way home in silence, both too lost in our own thoughts. When he pulled up to the house I got out half expecting him not to. To my surprise he walked me up to the door. I was about to just walk inside when he grabbed me and pulled me back.

His lips crushed mine as his arms wound tight around me with a vice like grip and I held on just as tight. This kiss was different, it was desperate. He pushed me back against the door as he deepened the kiss. Our tongues dueled with a desperate fever. I didn’t want him to stop. It was like some part of me knew everything was about to change.

I still hung to him when he pulled back from me, disengaging our lips. He rested his forehead against mine. “I have to go.”

I closed my eyes my heart unexplainably heavy. “I know.”

He lifted my chin to look at him. “Stop frowning babe. I’ll see what the bitch wants and then I’ll come over first thing and let you know what happened okay?”

I nodded because a lump had formed in my throat keeping me from speaking. He kissed my lips gently one last time before he turned and walked away. It felt like I was losing him, like he was leaving for forever. I forced myself to shake my negative thoughts and headed upstairs to bed.

The next morning…

I hadn’t slept a wink all night. My mind kept coming up with horrible things that could be happening over at Zacky’s. When he finally called to say he was on his way over he sounded bad, like he hadn’t slept either.

I didn’t bother to get all dressed up. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be a good conversation so I would rather be comfy if I was right. I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down when I heard the door bell ring. You’re probably over reacting.

I opened the door, took one look at Zacky and knew I hadn’t been. Whatever happened last night wasn’t good. Still I was trying to keep a positive frame of mind, no matter how hard it was. I stood up on my tiptoes for a kiss only for him to brush by me. Don’t panic, he’s just in a bad mood.

I followed him into the living room taking a seat on the couch beside him. “Soooo?” I hedged after we had sat there silently for a good ten minutes.

When Zacky looked at me I couldn’t breathe. His eyes were filled with a pain I had never seen before. He reached out hesitantly to touch my cheek for the briefest of moments. “I’m so sorry Kinzi.”

I placed my hand over his, holding it to my cheek. I smiled as I teased him, wanting to drive the look of hopelessness off his face. “What did you do now?”

“You’re going to hate me forever.” He sounded so lost and broken it was killing me.

I turned my face so I could kiss his rough palm. “I love you too much to ever hate you.”

He snatched his hand away like I had burned him. I watched my fear growing as he got up and began to pace. This was not the reaction you wanted when you told a guy you loved him. “You won’t once you find out and it’s better that way.”

He was scaring the shit out of me. What the hell had happened?! I got up standing in the way of his pacing. “Zacky you’re scaring me. Please just tell me what happened. What did Michelle do now?”

He walked away flopping back down on the couch his head in his hands. “It’s not just her. I fucked up. You’re going to hate me.”

I sat down beside him fighting the urge to argue the possibility of that with him again. I took a hold of his hand pulling it gently away from his face. “Please just tell me.”

He wouldn’t look at me when he spoke. “She’s pregnant.”

“And you’re?...” I asked already knowing the answer.

I swear there were tears in his tormented eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He all but whispered. “I just keep hurting you.”

I sat there speechless. This was so much worse than anything I had thought of.

Michelle was pregnant with Zacky’s baby.

Now it was his turn to beg. “Say something.”

I didn’t know what to say. My emotions were in such a whirlwind I didn’t know how I felt. The look on his face was killing me. “What did your parents say?”

When he didn’t look at me I knew. He came from an old fashion Italian family; they would want him to be with his baby’s mother. “I don’t have a choice Kinz.”

“Then I think you should leave.” My heart broke as I forced the words past my lips.

His head dropped so I couldn’t see his face anymore. He got up silently and left while I sat there motionless.

I picked up the phone with trembling hands dialing Dani and Cam’s house. “Hello?”

“Cam?” My voice broke on her name and all I could do was cry.

“Hold on we’re coming hunnie.” That was from Dani, evidently I had been on speaker phone.

I nodded even though they couldn’t see me and hung up. I walked over to the couch and curled up; holding my knees to my chest like that could hold me together. How was I ever going to survive this?

There was only one thing I was sure of anymore.

There wasn’t enough super glue in the whole world to put the pieces of my broken heart back together this time.