Changing Your Stars

I was semi awake lying in Jimmy’s bed comfy and not wanting to move. I tried to ignore whoever it was trying to wake me. That was until I felt pressure and coldness against my lips. My eyes flew open only to see the exact eyes I had been dreaming about an inch away from mine. “You need to get up.” Zacky murmured.

His mouth was so close to mine I could feel his warm breath on my lips. Oh God had he just kissed me?! I backed away from him so quickly I fell out of the bed landing with a huge thud. Great now my ass was killing me too.

Brian was in the room before either Zacky or I had the chance to move. Seconds later he was helping me to my feet keeping me steady by wrapping one arm around my waist. “You okay?”

When I nodded he turned to Zacky. “What the fuck did you do?”

Zacky, who was now sitting up in the bed, was looking at Brian and me strangely. His brows furrowed together like he was trying to figure out something. “Nothing.”

I didn’t like the tension I could feel between the guys. I was definitely missing something here. “I just forgot where I was and panicked. You know how I can be.” No way was I saying that I thought Zacky had kissed me. After all I had been mostly asleep and what if I said that and he hadn’t? Nope. Not going to go down that route today, thanks. I had made a big enough fool of myself last night I’m sure.

“You sure?” He wasn’t even looking at me just staring at Zacky. Yeah something was definitely up between these boys. I would have to corner Bri about it later.

I smiled up at Brian; his big brother side was coming out again. It was at times like this that I wished I could like like him. As it stood he was just one of my best friends and that’s all we would ever be. But whatever girl finally caught his eye was going to have one heck of a boyfriend, of that I was sure. “Yeah I’m good.”

I frowned as I tried to run my fingers through my hair and couldn’t get it through it was so knotty. “Okay, well, I will be once I get a shower.”

Brian sniffed me and then wrinkled his nose in disgust. “You do stink.”

Grinning I pushed him away from me and bent to pick up my clothes from where I had thrown them the night before. “Shut the hell up, ass.”

Brian cocked his head to the side checking out my ass in an obvious manner. “Your ass is nicer.”

I rolled my eyes as I straightened. “You’re such a perve.”

Brian tried to give me the ‘innocent’ look. “What? Not my fault you have a nice ass.”

Zacky laughed as I flipped off Brian. “I hate to admit it but Syn does have a point.”

I glared at Zacky. “What do you know?”

Zacky grinned at me. “That you snore when you sleep.”

“I DO NOT!” I huffed and stormed out of the room, the sound of both boys laughing following me down the hall and into the bathroom.

First order of business was locking the door behind me. Those boys were not to be trusted when they knew I was naked. All it took was Jimmy ‘accidently’ walking in on me for me to learn my lesson. I had known from that huge goofy ass grin on his face that it hadn’t been any accident. Knowing him and Bri it was probably a bet of some sort.

I looked in the mirror and realized I looked like shit. My hair was sticking up in every direction with some flat spots while my makeup was streaked down my face. I touched my lips as I remembered the feeling of pressure and a cold hardness of his snake bites. Had Zacky really kissed me or had I dreamed it? I mean gosh knows that had been EXACTLY what I had been dreaming about before I woke up. But still had he done it and why? I mean I look like shit he couldn’t have WANTED to do it. My heart sank as I realized it had most likely been another one of those stupid bets. That’s if it had even happened to begin with. Feeling a little deflated I turned on the water and got in the shower.

Half hour later…

I had just gotten out of the shower and started to get dressed when I realized my shirt had God knows what spilled all over it. Man how much had I had to drink? Everything after my first round of ‘fuck the dealer’ was hazy. After what had to be ummm the sixth round, I couldn’t remember anything period.

Deciding to raid Jimmy’s closet I headed back towards his room. I opened the door and froze as I stared at a half naked Zacky. He wasn’t a beefcake like Matt or slightly buffed like Bri but I liked that more. He was an average guy, not skinny yet not heavy. Now his arms were another story, there was definitely some muscle there, kinda like guys who played the guitar. No matter what the rest of them looked like they always had nice arms. Hmmm I wonder if he played?

Zacky spoke without turning around. “Like what you see?”

I blushed like crazy looking down at the floor suddenly mystified by my bare toes. “I…uhhhh…ummm…sorry?” Truth was I did… a lot. Zacky wasn’t perfect, he was normal complete with flaws, like me.

Zacky laughed as he pulled his shirt on over his head and walked over to me. “No need to be sorry babe. I like having your attention.”

I just blinked at him as I turned 10 different shades of red. What was I supposed to say to that?! “Oh okay.”

Zacky chuckled as his green eyes danced with merriment. “I make you uncomfortable.”

“I don’t do well around people I don’t really know I guess.” I shrugged fighting the urge to fidget under his gaze.

Zacky’s smile gentled into one of understanding. “Then I guess we’ll just have to change that.” I didn’t expect him to reach out and take my hand in his our fingers intertwining.

I looked up from them blushing like an idiot. I opened my mouth twice before anything came out. To his credit he didn’t say anything just stood there waiting for me to say something. “I uhhh..think that would be okay.”

The smile on Zacky’s face had my heart beating faster than Jimmy could play the drums. “If you blush this easily just holding my hand I can’t wait to see your reaction when I kiss you.”

I figured now was a good a time as any to ask him about the dream kiss. “Ummm..have you uhhh kinda sorta done that already?”

Pulling on the hand he held we headed towards the kitchen. He looked over at me with a huge smirk on his face. “If I kissed you, you would know it.”

Grrr… so I had dreamed it. Damn it. Well didn’t that just suck. “But you want to?”

I was being serious but all Zacky did was laugh, that was until I guess he figured out I wasn’t kidding. Desire darkened his eyes as he looked down at me. I could almost feel the caress of them against my skin. “Fucking hell yeah I do.”

I couldn’t breathe as his free hand cupped my cheek holding me still as I watched him lean down. My eyelashes fluttered down in nervous expectance. He was going to kiss me. Holy shit he was going to kiss me!!!!!!

The faintest brush of his lips is all I got to feel before the steam roller known as Jimmy came around the corner on his skateboard and almost took me out. As it was I had to jump onto Zacky, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, to keep from becoming hallway kill (think road kill in a hallway).

Zacky was grinning like the Cheshire cat when I looked back at him. “I like a girl who’s not afraid to cut to the chase.”

I snorted and climbed off of him. “You wish.”

“Fuck yeah.”

I rolled my eyes at him yet again before turning and heading towards the kitchen. What the hell was he saying to me? Guys never talked this bluntly with me before. Most people would be turned off by it but not me. I had just come from a place where people wouldn’t know what the truth was if it bit them in the ass. Lying had been a way of life back in LA. You lied to everyone about everything until you were so dishonest about yourself that you didn’t know who you were. I sure as hell had no clue anymore, but I had once. Back before I let myself get swept up into ‘the high life of the rich and famous’, before I changed myself to be who and what I was expected to be, I had been real.

I had been so blind for so long that when I finally woke up to the reality of my life being some kind of sick joke, I had tried to end it. It had been the only way out at a time I just couldn’t deal. That was the real reason I was in Huntington Beach with my uncle. My mother and step father were the ones who drove me to do it and my father…well he just isn’t very responsible. Scratch that, he is. It’s just that he’s so busy he’s hardly at home and he was worried about me being alone so much in such a ‘fragile’ state of mind.

As it was I went to see a therapist once a week, a secret I was taking to my grave. No one but my family knew and I was keeping it that way. I was going to have a hard enough time making new friends and fitting in without being the ‘crazy suicidal girl’. I took a deep breath as I entered the kitchen. Matt, Val and Syn were all at the table eating something that smelled heavenly. “Choco chip pancakes!” I squealed as I realized someone had made by favorite breakfast food even if it was three o’clock in the afternoon.

Jimmy came bounding back into the room a few minutes later having changed. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And you know I fucking rule chocolate chip pancakes.”

Syn laughed. “It’s the only thing you can make.”

“Why would I know how to make anything else?” The look of confusion on Jimmy’s face had me cracking up. Of course Jimmy wouldn’t think he needed to know anything else. As long as he could kick ass on drums (which was a no brainer) and make chocolate chip pancakes everything was right in the world.

The rest of the day went pretty par for what was becoming the course. It was so easy being around what I was starting to think of as my little group of misfits. Cause let’s face I knew we weren’t the norm but that was more than okay with me. I had been in that crowd for WAY too long and just wanted the chance to breathe again.

I was the first one to head home that night. I had been maybe hoping for a good night kiss but that was quickly squashed when Jimmy and Brian came out with Zacky and I. I did however manage to slip Zacky my cell phone number when I hugged him goodbye. Now I just needed to play the wait game and see if he would use it.