No Idea That I'm Even Here

Brittany-
Jack and I walked through the park hand in hand taking in the scenery. The warm spring breeze blew through my long dark chestnut hair. I took a deep breath inhaling the scent of the flowers blooming and the freshly cut grass. We walked over to the swings.
“Jack, can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Yeah, what’s wrong?” He could tell by the tone of my voice.
“Why did you do it?” I asked.
“Do what?”
“You can be so clueless sometimes.” I giggled. “But seriously, why did you cut yourself?”
“I don’t know. I was hurt. I felt that no matter how much I loved you, you wouldn’t love me-”
“Jack, I always loved you. I always have and always will. You should know that.” I put my hand on his knee.
“I know but I never thought you would love me like that. I always thought you loved me like you love Zack or Rian. I always thought you would go for a guy like Alex, you two always hung out, more than us, never a guy like me.”
“A guy like you.”
“Yeah, you know, I’m just Jack, the skunk haired best friend, the lanky awkward guy. I’m nothing special.” He kicked at the pebbles underneath the swing.
“You are special Jack. You might be the lanky, awkward skunk haired guy, but you’re MY lanky, awkward skunk haired boy. I love you.” I smiled and kissed me softly.
“I love you too.” He mumbled against my lips before kissing me again.
“So what are my boyfriend’s plans today?” I giggled.
“You know, the usual, hang out with the guys, play video games, band practice, sleep with band sluts.” He listed.
“And ignore your girlfriend?”
“Oh yeah, and spend all day with this really hot chick. Maybe you know her. She’s about your height, had long brown hair that falls over her shoulders perfectly, she has the most amazing hazel eyes that change color, and if you look really closely,” He leaned closely to my face not breaking the eye contact. “You can see the slivers of blue.” I felt his warm breath against my lips.
“Nope. Don’t know her. Only been my boyfriend a day and you’re cheating.” I laughed and stood up. “I thought I knew you better Barakat.” I stepped backwards slowly. He jumped up and I bolted for the playground. Soon he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to the ground.
“That’s you silly.” He pecked my nose. I stuck my tongue out at him.
“I’m not that great.” I sighed.
“Can I ask you something?” I nodded. “What’s this?” He held up a razor.
“A razor?” I lied.
“You can tell me.” He rolled off me. “Alex found it in your dresser.”
“Figures. He would be the one to find it.” I muttered under my breath. “Because, of a lot. I’m never good enough for anyone.”
“You’re perfect in my eyes. I don’t want you to ever do it again. Promise me?”
“I tried stopping Jack, it’s hard. It’s addicting. I want to do it even though I don’t have a reason to.” I started crying.
“I’ll help you.” He hugged me tightly. “But first you need to throw this away.” I nodded and took the shiny, sliver blade from him and looked at my wrist full of scars. I got to my feet and held my hand out to Jack who gladly took it.
“Come on.” I smiled and we walked to the large black garbage can. I held the razor over the trash can and dropped it.
“Let’s go.” He pecked my cheek and we walked home.