TLOZ Chatroom
TLOZ Chatroom 14 pt. 1
loz chatroom 14 pt. 1
*btdubsimad00d has logged on*
*insaneprsnofdoom has logged on*
*partygril984 has logged on*
*usurpderpdeederp has logged on*
insaneprsnofdoom: zelda...
partygril984: rabia?
insaneprsnofdoom: i dont know hi
partygril984: uhhh hi! o.o
btdubsimad00d: im still in shock from what happened yesterday...
usurpderpdeederp: Wait why? What happened yesterday?
btdubsimad00d: trust me zant, you don’t want to know...
usurpderpdeederp: Yes I do! KEEP ME IN THE LOOP!
btdubsimad00d: O.O
partygril984: hey guys guess what?! :D
insaneprsnofdoom: what?
btdubsimad00d: what now, zelda?
usurpderpdeederp: WHAT?!
partygril984: rabia is going to distract ganondorf this time! :3
insaneprsnofdoom: whaaaaaaat? when did we agree on this?!
partygril984: its either you or sheik, and i vote you
btdubsimad00d: don’t ask
insaneprsnofdoom: yeah, NOT GONNA HAPPEN ZELDA
partygril984: why not?! i did!
insaneprsnofdoom: thats not saying much though
partygril984: thanks -___-
insaneprsnofdoom: anytime!
*shukaku132 has logged on*
partygril984: KAIKOURA! :D
shukaku132: guys, link only has three hours to live if we don’t stop ganon!
usurpderpdeederp: Ganondorf is going to kill Link?!
partygril984: way to totally deny me....
shukaku132: HELLO ZELDA... now come on, we need to help him!
insaneprsnofdoom: help ganondorf?
shukaku132: NO! help link!
insaneprnsofdoom: is there another option?
partygril984: either distract ganondorf or help link
insaneprsnofdoom: ...alright... ill distract ganondorf.... just not the same way Zelda did!
shukaku132: alright, everyone, (except zant because hes dead and crazy) lets go save link!
*shukaku132 has gone afk*
*partygril984 has gone afk*
insaneprsnofdoom: want to help me, sheik?
btdubsimad00d: depends what i have to do
insaneprsnofdoom: you can play the harp, right?
btdubsimad00d: ….yeah, why?
insaneprsnofdoom: just bring it to the deku tree!
*insaneprsnofdoom has gone afk*
usurpderpdeederp: WAIT! Don’t leave, Sheik! I’ll be so alone! I know I might have stolen your true love from you and kept her to the point where she almost --
*btdubsimad00d has gone afk*
usurpderpdeederp: Always alone... I guess I’ll just sit here until everyone comes back...
*Now we see what Ganon’s doing...*
3 HOURS REMAIN...
ahsdshdfjjsdhfdshGanondorf's POVkwjhejhdjgkhsdjhgsdkjhgjskj
It was finally time. Well, almost. Malon had still not been returned to me, and I was becoming impatient. It was time for Link to die. I set out for Kakariko Village, since I figured he was probably at Sheik’s house. While turning into the village, I nearly ran over that Zora girl. I sighed. “You? Again? Please tell me you’re not here to hit on me...” She shook her head and motioned for Sheik, who was picking apples off a tree, to come over.
Rabia cleared her throat and said,”Relax and get comfortable Ganondorf! We’re going to provide you with some mood-setting music.” Sheik pulled his handheld harp thing out (from where, I really don’t want to know). Rabia took sips of water from a massive water bottle, then gargled it, and spat it on Sheik. He look at her disgusted for a moment, but said nothing.
“Well, music does always seem to set a mood for me... Alright, three songs at the most.” I leapt off my horse and stared at Sheik, folding my arms. After a moment of silence, he lifted the harp to start -- but I interrupted with a loud, exaggerated cough. He dropped his arms to his side and glared at me.
“What?”
“How am I supposed to get comfortable when I’m standing?” I asked.
“Um, sit on the ground?”
“And get my cape dirty? Heavens, no. I demand a comfortable seat, Sheik!” He grumbled to himself as he looked around for something for me to sit on. Finding nothing, he sighed and walked over to me. Still grumbling to himself, he got down on his knees (not like that people!) and I gladly sat on him. I looked down at him after a moment and said, “Sheesh, Sheik, you are the most uncomfortable seat ever. Get fat.”
“Ganondorf, just sit down and shut the fuck up.” Rabia gave me a death glare and I shut up.
“Carry on.” And so she did. Sheik managed to hold his harp with one hand, play with the other, and hold me on his back all at the same time. Rabia randomly had a guitar now (A Zora with a guitar? Gee, this sounds familiar o.o ) She cleared her throat before taking a big breath.
“You might know this one, Ganondorf, so feel free to sing along,” she said, starting a song on her guitar. She suddenly stopped and said,”On second thought, don’t sing along if you know it.” She continued on her guitar, and started singing. “NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA! I guess I just lost my wiiiiife, I don’t know where she went! So I’m gonna drink my money, I’m not gonna pay her rent! I got a brand new attitude and I’m gonna wear it tonight! I’m gonna get in--” In the middle of playing the song on his harp, Sheik was crushed by my weight and collapsed face first into the ground. Rabia stared at him for a second. “....Sheik, come on, I was on a roll!” She stomped her foot angrily and glared at his crushed body.
“Aren’t you going to help me?!” he cried from underneath me.
“Why would I help you?” I asked.
“Not you!!!” Rabia tried pulling him out from under me, and succeeded in getting half his body out. “This is SO PAINFUL...... YOU HAVE NO IDEA....”
“Oh get over it!” Rabia said, pulling the rest of his body out. She then dragged a rock over and sat me down on it. “No more sitting on Sheik! Bad Ganon!” She then cleared her throat.
“Next song?” Sheik asked.
“Yes, next song.” She started playing her guitar again, and Sheik started on his harp too. “Sheik, you wanna sing this?” She winked at him and he stopped playing, punching her in the arm.
“I’m not singing this. It’s bad enough I have to sing that thing Kaikoura wrote...”
“Fine, fine...” They both started playing again, and Rabia started singing in her high soprano voice,”You and me baby ain’t nothin but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!” loudly.
“How do you learn a harp part to this song?” I asked.
“DON’T INTERRUPT ME, FOOL!” she yelled.
“Can we just sing this last song and get it over with, please?” Sheik said, dropping his arms to his side again. Rabia sighed.
“I suppooooooose....” She started a different song on her guitar and so did Sheik on his harp. “This first part is written by Zelda...” She then started singing.
“Hey listen! Why you gotta be like that? It’s not like Link’s that fat, so why you have to do dis ‘ en? Why not go for Vaati? He stole Malon in the night, she didn’t even put up a fight. We all know he’s got your lady.” She played a little guitar riff right here, and then she sang with her (terrible) soprano voice with Sheik’s (semi-okay, but still kinda bad) tenor voice.
“Ganondorf, don’t be a tool - you know that it’s not cool. Why don’t you go rescue your lady? Who is.....fucking Vaati!”
“HEY!” I yelled angrily. They ignored me, and Sheik sighed.
“Do I have to sing this?” he asked, still playing his harp.
“YES, JUST DO IT!” Rabia said. He sighed again.
“Kaikoura wrote this part, NOT ME, so just remember that!” He then started singing. “Link is too sexy to die, bitch he is a child of the sky.” He paused and breathed slowly. Looking at Rabia in protest, he sang again. “I’d get on that motherfucker, and ride him all night long.”
I burst into laughter right then, and he kicked dust at me -- making me cough violently. He continued when I stopped, but only because Rabia was staring him down to make sure he continued.
“He’s got a real nice.......dick..... One that I’d really like to lick....mmmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm......” He looked like he was about to kill someone when he finished this. I tried my hardest not to laugh hysterically.... They sang the chorus together again.
“Ganondorf don’t be a tool, you know that it’s not cool. Why don’t you go rescue your lady, who is.....fucking Vaati.” Suddenly, the ground split open and a bright light started shining through where it split. “What the---” Sheik started, covering his eyes from how bright the light was. After a moment, we could all see someone standing in the middle of us now -- Zant.
“Zant, what the hell are you--” Rabia started, but was cut off by his terrible nasally rapping.
“Hey bitches, Z Daddy in da houuuuuuse! Ganondorf is a motherfuckin loser, lookin so lame in his.... PT CRUISER! You know I’m sexier than a mouse........ WHAT?!?!?!” He then made an awful attempt at a gang symbol with his hands, and the other two just started singing the chorus again.
“Ganondorf, don’t be a tool.” Then Zant.
“Yeah, mofocka, don’t be a tool!”
“You know that it’s not cool.”
“Nuh uh, man, not cool.” Then, Zant also finished the song.
“Why don’t you go rescue your lady, who is titty fucking with Vaati! OOOOOHHH WHATTTT?!?” He started dancing really badly, trying to have swag. “So, don’t be a motherfuckin tool. R DIZZLE, CHIC, AND Z DADDY......... OUT!!!!! kay peace.” He then disappeared in a cloud of smoke. An awkward silence followed this performance.
“......That was the worst song I’ve ever heard in my life.” I stood from the rock I was sitting on and dusted off my cape. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go kill Link now. Thanks for that wonderful display though.”
WHAT?!?!?!? THAT SONG WASN’T THAT TERR-- OKAY, IT WAS BAD. BUT OH WELL!!!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO LINK?! WHY IS ZANT SO FRIGGEN WEIRD? WHY WAS THAT SO BAD??!?!?! FIND THE ANSWER TO THESE QUESTIONS IN MORE IN PART TWO!!!
*btdubsimad00d has logged on*
*insaneprsnofdoom has logged on*
*partygril984 has logged on*
*usurpderpdeederp has logged on*
insaneprsnofdoom: zelda...
partygril984: rabia?
insaneprsnofdoom: i dont know hi
partygril984: uhhh hi! o.o
btdubsimad00d: im still in shock from what happened yesterday...
usurpderpdeederp: Wait why? What happened yesterday?
btdubsimad00d: trust me zant, you don’t want to know...
usurpderpdeederp: Yes I do! KEEP ME IN THE LOOP!
btdubsimad00d: O.O
partygril984: hey guys guess what?! :D
insaneprsnofdoom: what?
btdubsimad00d: what now, zelda?
usurpderpdeederp: WHAT?!
partygril984: rabia is going to distract ganondorf this time! :3
insaneprsnofdoom: whaaaaaaat? when did we agree on this?!
partygril984: its either you or sheik, and i vote you
btdubsimad00d: don’t ask
insaneprsnofdoom: yeah, NOT GONNA HAPPEN ZELDA
partygril984: why not?! i did!
insaneprsnofdoom: thats not saying much though
partygril984: thanks -___-
insaneprsnofdoom: anytime!
*shukaku132 has logged on*
partygril984: KAIKOURA! :D
shukaku132: guys, link only has three hours to live if we don’t stop ganon!
usurpderpdeederp: Ganondorf is going to kill Link?!
partygril984: way to totally deny me....
shukaku132: HELLO ZELDA... now come on, we need to help him!
insaneprsnofdoom: help ganondorf?
shukaku132: NO! help link!
insaneprnsofdoom: is there another option?
partygril984: either distract ganondorf or help link
insaneprsnofdoom: ...alright... ill distract ganondorf.... just not the same way Zelda did!
shukaku132: alright, everyone, (except zant because hes dead and crazy) lets go save link!
*shukaku132 has gone afk*
*partygril984 has gone afk*
insaneprsnofdoom: want to help me, sheik?
btdubsimad00d: depends what i have to do
insaneprsnofdoom: you can play the harp, right?
btdubsimad00d: ….yeah, why?
insaneprsnofdoom: just bring it to the deku tree!
*insaneprsnofdoom has gone afk*
usurpderpdeederp: WAIT! Don’t leave, Sheik! I’ll be so alone! I know I might have stolen your true love from you and kept her to the point where she almost --
*btdubsimad00d has gone afk*
usurpderpdeederp: Always alone... I guess I’ll just sit here until everyone comes back...
*Now we see what Ganon’s doing...*
3 HOURS REMAIN...
ahsdshdfjjsdhfdshGanondorf's POVkwjhejhdjgkhsdjhgsdkjhgjskj
It was finally time. Well, almost. Malon had still not been returned to me, and I was becoming impatient. It was time for Link to die. I set out for Kakariko Village, since I figured he was probably at Sheik’s house. While turning into the village, I nearly ran over that Zora girl. I sighed. “You? Again? Please tell me you’re not here to hit on me...” She shook her head and motioned for Sheik, who was picking apples off a tree, to come over.
Rabia cleared her throat and said,”Relax and get comfortable Ganondorf! We’re going to provide you with some mood-setting music.” Sheik pulled his handheld harp thing out (from where, I really don’t want to know). Rabia took sips of water from a massive water bottle, then gargled it, and spat it on Sheik. He look at her disgusted for a moment, but said nothing.
“Well, music does always seem to set a mood for me... Alright, three songs at the most.” I leapt off my horse and stared at Sheik, folding my arms. After a moment of silence, he lifted the harp to start -- but I interrupted with a loud, exaggerated cough. He dropped his arms to his side and glared at me.
“What?”
“How am I supposed to get comfortable when I’m standing?” I asked.
“Um, sit on the ground?”
“And get my cape dirty? Heavens, no. I demand a comfortable seat, Sheik!” He grumbled to himself as he looked around for something for me to sit on. Finding nothing, he sighed and walked over to me. Still grumbling to himself, he got down on his knees (not like that people!) and I gladly sat on him. I looked down at him after a moment and said, “Sheesh, Sheik, you are the most uncomfortable seat ever. Get fat.”
“Ganondorf, just sit down and shut the fuck up.” Rabia gave me a death glare and I shut up.
“Carry on.” And so she did. Sheik managed to hold his harp with one hand, play with the other, and hold me on his back all at the same time. Rabia randomly had a guitar now (A Zora with a guitar? Gee, this sounds familiar o.o ) She cleared her throat before taking a big breath.
“You might know this one, Ganondorf, so feel free to sing along,” she said, starting a song on her guitar. She suddenly stopped and said,”On second thought, don’t sing along if you know it.” She continued on her guitar, and started singing. “NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA NA NA! I guess I just lost my wiiiiife, I don’t know where she went! So I’m gonna drink my money, I’m not gonna pay her rent! I got a brand new attitude and I’m gonna wear it tonight! I’m gonna get in--” In the middle of playing the song on his harp, Sheik was crushed by my weight and collapsed face first into the ground. Rabia stared at him for a second. “....Sheik, come on, I was on a roll!” She stomped her foot angrily and glared at his crushed body.
“Aren’t you going to help me?!” he cried from underneath me.
“Why would I help you?” I asked.
“Not you!!!” Rabia tried pulling him out from under me, and succeeded in getting half his body out. “This is SO PAINFUL...... YOU HAVE NO IDEA....”
“Oh get over it!” Rabia said, pulling the rest of his body out. She then dragged a rock over and sat me down on it. “No more sitting on Sheik! Bad Ganon!” She then cleared her throat.
“Next song?” Sheik asked.
“Yes, next song.” She started playing her guitar again, and Sheik started on his harp too. “Sheik, you wanna sing this?” She winked at him and he stopped playing, punching her in the arm.
“I’m not singing this. It’s bad enough I have to sing that thing Kaikoura wrote...”
“Fine, fine...” They both started playing again, and Rabia started singing in her high soprano voice,”You and me baby ain’t nothin but mammals so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!” loudly.
“How do you learn a harp part to this song?” I asked.
“DON’T INTERRUPT ME, FOOL!” she yelled.
“Can we just sing this last song and get it over with, please?” Sheik said, dropping his arms to his side again. Rabia sighed.
“I suppooooooose....” She started a different song on her guitar and so did Sheik on his harp. “This first part is written by Zelda...” She then started singing.
“Hey listen! Why you gotta be like that? It’s not like Link’s that fat, so why you have to do dis ‘ en? Why not go for Vaati? He stole Malon in the night, she didn’t even put up a fight. We all know he’s got your lady.” She played a little guitar riff right here, and then she sang with her (terrible) soprano voice with Sheik’s (semi-okay, but still kinda bad) tenor voice.
“Ganondorf, don’t be a tool - you know that it’s not cool. Why don’t you go rescue your lady? Who is.....fucking Vaati!”
“HEY!” I yelled angrily. They ignored me, and Sheik sighed.
“Do I have to sing this?” he asked, still playing his harp.
“YES, JUST DO IT!” Rabia said. He sighed again.
“Kaikoura wrote this part, NOT ME, so just remember that!” He then started singing. “Link is too sexy to die, bitch he is a child of the sky.” He paused and breathed slowly. Looking at Rabia in protest, he sang again. “I’d get on that motherfucker, and ride him all night long.”
I burst into laughter right then, and he kicked dust at me -- making me cough violently. He continued when I stopped, but only because Rabia was staring him down to make sure he continued.
“He’s got a real nice.......dick..... One that I’d really like to lick....mmmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm......” He looked like he was about to kill someone when he finished this. I tried my hardest not to laugh hysterically.... They sang the chorus together again.
“Ganondorf don’t be a tool, you know that it’s not cool. Why don’t you go rescue your lady, who is.....fucking Vaati.” Suddenly, the ground split open and a bright light started shining through where it split. “What the---” Sheik started, covering his eyes from how bright the light was. After a moment, we could all see someone standing in the middle of us now -- Zant.
“Zant, what the hell are you--” Rabia started, but was cut off by his terrible nasally rapping.
“Hey bitches, Z Daddy in da houuuuuuse! Ganondorf is a motherfuckin loser, lookin so lame in his.... PT CRUISER! You know I’m sexier than a mouse........ WHAT?!?!?!” He then made an awful attempt at a gang symbol with his hands, and the other two just started singing the chorus again.
“Ganondorf, don’t be a tool.” Then Zant.
“Yeah, mofocka, don’t be a tool!”
“You know that it’s not cool.”
“Nuh uh, man, not cool.” Then, Zant also finished the song.
“Why don’t you go rescue your lady, who is titty fucking with Vaati! OOOOOHHH WHATTTT?!?” He started dancing really badly, trying to have swag. “So, don’t be a motherfuckin tool. R DIZZLE, CHIC, AND Z DADDY......... OUT!!!!! kay peace.” He then disappeared in a cloud of smoke. An awkward silence followed this performance.
“......That was the worst song I’ve ever heard in my life.” I stood from the rock I was sitting on and dusted off my cape. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go kill Link now. Thanks for that wonderful display though.”
WHAT?!?!?!? THAT SONG WASN’T THAT TERR-- OKAY, IT WAS BAD. BUT OH WELL!!!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO LINK?! WHY IS ZANT SO FRIGGEN WEIRD? WHY WAS THAT SO BAD??!?!?! FIND THE ANSWER TO THESE QUESTIONS IN MORE IN PART TWO!!!
♠ ♠ ♠
very terrible, I know.... xDDD