Everybody Has a Secret

(Eliana’s POV)
“Dude, what the fuck are you doing in there?” Vanessa asked, knocking on the door in the bathroom.

“I am dying,” I groaned.

“Open the door. Come on.”

I was at Vanessa’s house. It’s been about a month or so since I’ve been back with Alex. It’s been great. Eric really is great. He does a lot of things on his own for a five-year-old. I do love him. It’s just getting use to him calling me mom still.

I opened the door.

“Damn. You look really pale. Are you sick? You should probably go home.”

“No. I have a reason for being here.”

Her eyes widened. “Dude… Are you pregnant?” How did she even guess that?

“This time…yeah I think so.”

“Hey, I can run to the store real quick if you want to take a test?”

“I bought some on the way here. I’m waiting for the timer to go off.”

“If it’s real, what are you going to do this time?”

“I don’t know…”

“Do you want to get an abortion?” She whispered the last part as if it was a forbidden word.

“Why are you whispering that word?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s not like anyone is home and the kids are playing in JJ’s room.”

“I mean there’s kids!”

“They don’t even know what that word means.”

“Why are we even debating? I’m sorry. So…are you going to get one? I kinda thought you’ve been glowing recently.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know. It’s like a thing you see when someone is pregnant.”

“Oh… Well, I’m not sure if I’m going to get one. I’ll have to talk to A-“ The timer cut me off and I went to go look at the test.

“From the look on your face, it’s positive, isn’t it?”

I nodded and my face felt wet. I wiped my face and I didn’t even know I was crying. Vanessa just came up to me and hugged me. That’s when I started crying even more.

“It’s gonna be okay.” She rubbed my back.

“Mum?” I heard Eric say.

I quickly wiped the tears from my face and composed myself. “Yeah, what’s up, sweetie?”

“I gotta go.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. We’ll get out and you can pee.”

He nodded and both Vanessa and I left the bathroom. We ended up going into the living room. Vanessa just turned on the TV to something random for backup noise. She always liked doing that.

She started hugging me. I stopped crying but I had so many emotions that I didn’t know which one to focus on. My mind just feels scrambled and I have no idea what I’m going to do.

“I don’t know what to do,” I cried. My voice was shaky. I think this is the first time that I’ve been so scared.

“You said you’d talk to Alex. You can both compromise on what you want to do.”

“Yeah…”

“Mummy, are you okay?” Eric asked as soon as he came into the room. He sat on my lap and gave me a big hug. His hug already started to make me feel better.

“I am now thanks to you.” I hugged him tightly. “I love you very much.”

He squeezed me a little harder for a few seconds and let go to look up at me. “I love you too.” He smiled.

I looked at the time on my phone. “I think we should get going. I’m sure the boys will get home soon and I want to go home now. Are you ready, kiddo?”

He nodded. “Let me say bye to JJ.”

“Of course.”

Eric and I both said goodbye to Vanessa and JJ and we headed out. I was playing music on the way home and an All Time Low song came on.

“It’s Dad!” Eric exclaimed.

I laughed. “It sure is.” I put it up and Eric started singing and dancing to the song. I glanced at him from the rear-view mirror and laughed.

We finally got home and I started on dinner. Just felt like making simple hamburgers with fries.

“Eric!” I yelled for him. I set his cheeseburger and fries down. I grabbed the ketchup to set down on the table.

Eric came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. “Thank you, Mum!”

“You’re welcome.”

I heard the front door open and close. Alex then walked into the kitchen.

“It smells good in here. Ooh, burgers,” he said.

“I put your plate in the microwave. I knew you’d be here any time soon.”

He smiled. “Thank you, honey.” He gave me a quick kiss and I smiled.

They both started devouring their food and I nitpicked at it because the morning sickness is real.

“Are you not hungry, babe?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, I had a little something to eat at Vanessa’s,” I lied.

“Oh okay. I’ll eat it if you don’t want it.”

I giggled. “Of course. Just let me eat some more fries.”

After dinner, we decided to watch a movie. We let Eric decide so afterwards he would go to bed.

“Hey, I need to talk to you about something,” I said to Alex once we were done getting ready for bed.

“What’s up?” he asked as he got into bed next to me.

“Do you want to have a baby?”

He seemed taken aback by the question. “I mean… of course I’d like to have a baby with you, but it’s only if you want to. Why?”

I sighed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Well… I’m pregnant.”

“What?” he asked surprised.

“I took a test at Vanessa’s and it was positive.”

“Oh… Come here.” I scooted closer to him and he cuddled me. “I love you so much.” He kissed my head. “I’m going to support you in whatever decision you want to make.”

“Thank you, babe. But I feel like it’s something we should discuss together. I don’t want it based purely on my own decision.”

“Okay. Well, what do you want to do?”

“I’m not really sure.”

“That’s okay.”

“But I know you really want to have a baby…”

“I’d like to but like I said only if you want to.”

“I know…”

“Have you thought about wanting to get rid of it?”

I shook my head. “No. Not really. I mean I thought of it but I don’t know if I want to get one. I just don’t really know what to do.”

“Do you want to go to a doctor first and then decide?”

I nodded. “I think that’ll be a good idea. I’ll call the OB/GYN tomorrow and get an appointment. Will you go with me?”

He nodded. “Of course, baby. We can drop off Eric at Vanessa’s if you want.”

“Yeah, that’ll be good. I don’t want to tell anyone yet since I don’t know what I want to do.”

“Okay. I guess that’s why you didn’t want to eat your burger, huh?”

“Yeah. I have morning sickness and it’s not even the morning.” I laughed.

“I think most have that same thought.”

“Let’s go to bed. I’m tired.”

“Okay. Goodnight.” He kissed me and I kissed him back.

“Goodnight.”

He turned the lights off and he cuddled me. I moved backwards to be closer.

“Hey, don’t move your ass like that.”

I laughed. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to get comfortable.”

“You’re gonna make me horny.”

I started moving again but this time to just be a tease.

“Ellie, goddamn it.” I could feel him starting to get a boner.

I just giggled and he turned me towards him. He pulled me closer and kissed me. I kissed him back and put my hand in his hair. Things started to get a little heated.

“You want me to fuck you?” Alex whispered in my ear.

“Mm, please,” I said.

And this is probably the reason why I got pregnant...