Status: Finished, but I'm revising it.
How to be Emo
The Addiction
I glanced over to Quinn who seemed to be thinking intently for a child. “Do you mind if I ask why Danny brought you to me?”
Quinn glanced at me, nodded, and handed me a paper. She stopped and so did I. I opened the letter, only to have the dizzy feeling again.
There in his sloppy print tore my world, my dreams, and everything along the line, apart:
I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. THE ADDICTION IS TOO POWERFUL. I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF HER ANYMORE. I THOUGHT I COULD...BUT I CAN’T. I KNOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THE OLDER, MORE MATURE BROTHER, BUT LET’S FACE IT: I’M NOT A GOOD BROTHER AND I CAN’T BE GOOD DAD. TELL QUINN I’M SORRY. I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF HER. I KNOW YOU WILL DO THE RIGHT THING. LOVE, DANNY.
I met her blank eyes. “I’m sorry.” I cleared my throat and shut down my dreams. “What do you want? Let’s get some food that you like.” As we walked around the store, putting small foods in the cart, I went to the PARENTHOOD isle. “Quinn, do you need to use the bathroom?”
“Yes.” Her voice was so small and soft that I had to strain my ears.
We walked into the nice marble bathroom; we went into stalls next to each other, so that I knew she was close. I opened the pregnancy box I had taken and peed on it. I sat there for a while, waiting for the answers.
I sighed, looking down at the stick to see POSITIVE. Tears threatened to fall down my face and I couldn’t help but cry. My world was shattered by Danny and Leon. I pulled up my jeans and flushed the toilet. I threw away the stick before washing my hands. I saw Quinn waiting patiently by the door. “Let’s go pay.”
***
I glared into my bedroom. “Quinn.” Even though she was next to me, I wanted to say her name. “You wanna clean my room and make a way you want it?”
Quinn peeked at me, nodding. “Yes, please.”
I nodded as well. “Cool.” I headed downstairs for garbage bags and came up to see Quinn silently sobbing. I threw the bags down, paced over to her, picked her up, and let her cry on my shoulder.
“Why did he leave me?” Quinn asked between cries. “What did I do?”
I remembered asking myself that when my mom started drinking, when my dad left, when Danny was high, and when I wasn’t with Leon. I kissed her hair, humming a song I had heard once. “Honey, you didn’t do anything. Don’t ever think that you did, okay? Danny is just...not being very smart right now.”
Quinn held me tighter, almost choking me. “Is he coming back?”
I shook my head. “No, baby.”
Quinn was starting to settle down. “Are you leaving me, too?”
I shook my head, again. “No, Quinn, I promise I will never leave you. I will never give up.”
Quinn glanced at me, nodded, and handed me a paper. She stopped and so did I. I opened the letter, only to have the dizzy feeling again.
There in his sloppy print tore my world, my dreams, and everything along the line, apart:
I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. THE ADDICTION IS TOO POWERFUL. I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF HER ANYMORE. I THOUGHT I COULD...BUT I CAN’T. I KNOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THE OLDER, MORE MATURE BROTHER, BUT LET’S FACE IT: I’M NOT A GOOD BROTHER AND I CAN’T BE GOOD DAD. TELL QUINN I’M SORRY. I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF HER. I KNOW YOU WILL DO THE RIGHT THING. LOVE, DANNY.
I met her blank eyes. “I’m sorry.” I cleared my throat and shut down my dreams. “What do you want? Let’s get some food that you like.” As we walked around the store, putting small foods in the cart, I went to the PARENTHOOD isle. “Quinn, do you need to use the bathroom?”
“Yes.” Her voice was so small and soft that I had to strain my ears.
We walked into the nice marble bathroom; we went into stalls next to each other, so that I knew she was close. I opened the pregnancy box I had taken and peed on it. I sat there for a while, waiting for the answers.
I sighed, looking down at the stick to see POSITIVE. Tears threatened to fall down my face and I couldn’t help but cry. My world was shattered by Danny and Leon. I pulled up my jeans and flushed the toilet. I threw away the stick before washing my hands. I saw Quinn waiting patiently by the door. “Let’s go pay.”
***
I glared into my bedroom. “Quinn.” Even though she was next to me, I wanted to say her name. “You wanna clean my room and make a way you want it?”
Quinn peeked at me, nodding. “Yes, please.”
I nodded as well. “Cool.” I headed downstairs for garbage bags and came up to see Quinn silently sobbing. I threw the bags down, paced over to her, picked her up, and let her cry on my shoulder.
“Why did he leave me?” Quinn asked between cries. “What did I do?”
I remembered asking myself that when my mom started drinking, when my dad left, when Danny was high, and when I wasn’t with Leon. I kissed her hair, humming a song I had heard once. “Honey, you didn’t do anything. Don’t ever think that you did, okay? Danny is just...not being very smart right now.”
Quinn held me tighter, almost choking me. “Is he coming back?”
I shook my head. “No, baby.”
Quinn was starting to settle down. “Are you leaving me, too?”
I shook my head, again. “No, Quinn, I promise I will never leave you. I will never give up.”
♠ ♠ ♠
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