Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

It’s been three days since I got the call. I knew Caitlyn and dad were getting worried, but I didn’t care. I tried to convince myself this was a good thing, that it was better for everyone, but somehow all I seemed to be able to think was He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone.

But wasn’t this what I’d wanted, to be left alone? Start over again. Yes, yes it was, of course it was. Then why do I feel so alone?

Suddenly my bedroom door flew open, revealing Caitlyn in the door way. One glance at me and she realized it was worse than she’d thought. “Avy, oh god.” She mumbled sitting down on the bed next to me. I looked up at my sister. “You called me Avy.” I said emotionless. “You haven’t called me Avy since we were teenagers.” Caitlyn chuckled. “Well, you are acting a bit like a teenage you right now, so it’s only fitting.” I had a short flashback of a 15 year old me, locked in her bedroom, not eating and speaking after a big fight I’d had with Alex.

Caitlyn took one of my hands in hers. “Avy, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird ever since Friday. You haven’t come out of your room and you barely eat or speak.” She paused for a moment. “It’s Alex isn’t it?” I swallowed loudly and nodded. “He’s gone….”

Flashback

It’s been two weeks since I visited Alex in the hospital. I hadn’t heard anything from him or the rest of the guys since. I didn’t really bother me, Jack would probably text or call me soon enough. Instead I’d been focusing on my own life. I’d found a job as a waitress in a local restaurant, it wasn’t the best job ever, but I needed the money so I could get my own place as soon as possible. Living with my dad as a twenty-something, single girl was quite depressing to be honest.

Not having to worry about all the drama in my life also gave me an opportunity to try and reconnect with my sister. We actually agreed to have a girls night today, starting with dinner. I checked the time and saw I still had plenty of time to go home and change.

I got into my car and I was about to drive away my phone rang. I still had enough time so I decided to pick up. “Hello?” “Avery, it’s Jack.” “Jacky hi!” I smiled, glad to hear from my friend again. “What’s up?” “Uhm… well.. I… I need to tell you something.” He sounded really nervous and kind of uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, the cheerful tone in my voice long gone. “Is Alex alright?” “Ave, calm down, Alex is fine. It’s about L.A.” “Oh right.” I swallowed audibly. Jack had told me a while ago he’d been planning to move to L.A. I wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but if it made him happy I was all for it. “You made plans yet?” I asked. “Yep, got a place to stay and all….” He trailed off.

I sighed. I knew Jack wouldn’t just call to tell me that. “Just spit it out Jack.” “Iamleavingintwodays.” He mumbled. “You’re what?” I couldn’t understand what he was saying. “I… I’m leaving…. In two days.” He said, slower this time.

“What!? No! I mean, really that soon?” I tried to sound happy for him, but I was sure the shocked, desperate edge in my voice gave me away. “I know, I know, it’s really soon, I’m sorry for dropping something that big on you like that.” Jack tried to apologize. “No, no, it’s fine. You told me before you we’re planning on moving. I’m just gonna miss you so much.” I said. “Yeah… I know, I’ll miss you too.” He said softly. “But I can always come visit right?” I said in a fake cheery voice.

It was quiet on the other side for a few moments. “Jack…” I tried. “There’s more.” He blurted out. “More? What do you mean?” I was getting really confused now. “I won’t be going to L.A. alone…. Alex is coming with me.” “He’s coming with you? Like to help you move in or…” Jack sighed. “No Ave, Alex is moving to L.A. with me.”

I wasn’t sure how long it took me to find my voice. It was almost like the world had stopped and I was having trouble breathing. “Why?” I choked out. “Because he thinks it’s best for everyone if he leaves. He’s convinced you’ll never forgive him and he doesn’t want to continue wasting both of your lives.”

“Oh...” Was al I was able to respond. Jack sighed again, sounding a little irritated. “Oh come on Avery!” He practically yelled in frustration. “We both know you don’t want him to leave. Why can’t you just admit to yourself you love him and want to be with him? Can’t you see it isn’t doing any good for both of you? Alex is giving up! He’s giving up on you. If you don’t do anything now, you might lose him for good!”

I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see it. “I can’t be with him Jack, I just can’t. Alex is right, it’s for the best.” “Whatever.” He said, sounding defeated. “I’m disappointed in you Ave, I really am. I thought you’d fight harder than that for the person you love.”

I wanted to say something, but I wasn’t able to make a sound. Jack simply continued. “Anyways, I’ll stop by tomorrow to say goodbye before I have to pick up Alex at the hospital. So if you want you can still go visit him…..” I could clearly hear the suggestion in his voice. I knew he wanted me to go to Alex and stop him, but I decided to play stupid. “Sorry Jack, but I’m hanging out with Caitlyn tonight. I’m sure Alex has a phone in L.A. too in case I ever needed to speak to him….” And with that I made clear I had no intension of ever speaking to Alex Gaskarth again. Luckily Jack understood the silent hint and dropped the subject.

“Alright, have fun with tonight, see you tomorrow. Bye Ave.” Jack was about to hang up when I stopped him. “Jack wait!” I hesitated for a second, not sure if I should say it. I decided against it at the very last second. “Nevermind, have fun in L.A. Bye Jack” And with that I hung up.

I threw my phone into the seat next to me and dropped my head on the steering wheel. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why had I almost told Jack to tell Alex Gaskarth I love him….?

Caitlyn hugged me. “So Alex is in L.A. with Jack? And he’s not coming back?” I nodded. “And are you finally gonna admit you love him?” I shot up. “Why does everybody keep asking me that?” I screamed. “I love him okay, I just don’t trust him. I thought after I talked to him maybe would could move on with our lives. MOVE ON! Not have him disappear to the other side of the fucking country! He left! He fucking left me!”

“Like you left him 4 years ago when you two were supposed to get married?” Caitlyn asked calmly. “That’s not the same! He cheated on me.” I shot back. “True.” She said. “But you ran to avoid a confrontation, Alex left because he thought it was best. You can’t be mad at him for that. Besides, you were together back then. You have nothing to say about his decisions anymore Ave.”

I froze, letting the reality of her words hit me. She was right, I was no longer part of Alex’s life like that. I no longer had a say in his decisions. It was weird considering ever decision I’d made in the past few years had all been somehow influenced by him.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do now Caity.” I sobbed. Caitlyn took my hands in hers and spoke. “The way I see it you have two option. One, go after Alex and take him back or two, forget him, forget he ever existed and move on.”

I carefully considered both option for a second and my heart was screaming for me to go after Alex. I was about to tell Caitlyn it was Alex I wanted when a soft voice in the back of my head spoke. ’But he doesn’t want you anymore. Remember what Jack told you? He has given up on you, that’s why he ran.’

Those words hit my with so much force it left me breathless. “I…I…” I stuttered. “I need to forget about Alex, it’s better that way.” Caitlyn nodded and smile. “Alright, if that’s what you want I’ll help you. ” She didn’t sound too convincing. Suddenly she smiled. “Now get up, there’s someone I want you to meet.” “Who?” I asked a little confused. “You’re date for tonight of course.” She laughed and dragged me to the bathroom to get ready.