Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

It’s been three days since I talked to either Alex or Jack. They were leaving for tour again in a matter of days and like Jack had said, maybe it was better to stay away for a while. He was sure Alex wouldn't get over our…. past anytime soon, so I’d agreed to stay away from Alex as much as possible this week. I didn’t mind honestly, the thought of being able to be home for a couple of months without the living, breathing memory from last year, a.k.a. Alex Gaskarth, hanging around me was kinda nice.

Of course I was going to miss the rest of the guys, especially since I hadn’t been able to spend much time with them in the first place since I got back. But if that was the price I had to pay for being able to relax and not worry about Alex I wasn’t complaining. See, even though staying away from me might be the worst thing for Alex, according to Jack at least, it was the best thing for me. I needed this, I needed to spend some time at home, reconnecting with my family. But the only way I could do that was if I could forget about the events of last year, even if it was only for a moment.

Even though I was relieved to see Alex leaving for a while I was also scared. It wasn’t so much I was scared of him leaving, I was scared of him. After that disastrous morning a couple of days ago at Jack’s house Jack told me about the problems Alex developed over the past year. He’d always been one to drink just a little (and sometimes a lot) too much, but according to Jack this time it was going out of hand. Apparently Alex had been drink way more than usual, sometimes already completely waisted by noon, and he’d been popping pills to go along with his drinks. They’d all tried to help him, tell him he was going to end up killing himself, but he simple wouldn’t listen.

Jack told me not to worry about it and that is was gonna be fine, but I know Alex. He’d always had a bit of a temper and when he wanted something he wouldn’t give up before he got it, even if it killed him. I used to admire his determinacy, sometimes wishing I could be that strong and never give up, but now it just scared me. The drugs and alcohol only seemed to fuel his suspicion, anger and determination. Some might say I’m over reacting, but if you were the object of affection of someone who at some points just seemed….. unstable you’d be worried too.

The scene Alex had made that morning really terrified me. That wasn’t Alex who’d been shouting and throwing ridicules accusations at his best friend. He was nothing like the guy I fell in love with so many years ago. Alex always seemed to be surrounded by an almost contagious field of positive energy. He always managed to make someone feel better or just make a boring situation more fun.

It was one of the reasons why I fell for him in the first place. Sure he might be kinda of a arrogant douche sometimes, but he never failed to make me smile or feel better. Or at least until I caught him cheating on me with my now ex-best friend.

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been if Alex and I hadn’t fought that particular night. Alex wouldn’t have cheated. We would have been married for about four years by now. And of course I would never have left Baltimore. I would have been able to spend some more time with my mom before she died, I never would have disappointed my dad so much and the fight with Caitlyn would never even had happened. But most importantly, I would have been happy. I would be living the life I always wanted with all the people I love, hopefully without all the heartbreak, anger, sadness and confusion my life currently was revolving around.

Oh, what am I doing!? I should know better that to dwell on the past or thing that might have been. Shouldn’t last year have thought me that the past is the past? That sometimes things just happen and there’s nothing you can do about it? And especially that you should never try to relive the past, because you’ll only end up getting hurt again, maybe even worse than the first time.

I shouldn’t try to change the past, I needed to try to move on! Only the question was how am I supposed to move on when Alex wouldn’t let me go? NO this was ridicules! I wasn’t going to let Alex direct the rest of my life! I needed to get him out of my life as much as possible. Maybe Ashley was right and I should go out and live my life. Meet new people, do new things and all that stuff.

The ringing of my phone snapped my out of my thoughts. I’d been so lost in thought I hadn’t realized I was already downtown, very close to my favorite coffee shop. I stopped walking to answer my phone, enjoying the feeling of the late spring sun on face for a moment before speaking. “Hello?” “Hey Ave!” I chuckled. “Hey Jack. Sup?” “The sky.” He replied and I laughed. “You’re such a weirdo sometimes, but seriously why’d you call?” “Just asking if you wanted to hang tomorrow tonight, we’re leaving in a few days and I wanna spend some time with my friend.” “Okay yeah sure, sounds like fun.” I shrugged. “I promise there won’t be another soap opera worthy scene this time.” He said reassuringly. “How can you be sure?” I teased. “Because Alex promised me to stay away from you.” Jack answered in a serious tone. “He w-what?” I managed to choke out. “Jack, If this is a joke it’s not funny!” “It’s not!” Jack shouted like 5 year old. “But seriously Ave, I told Alex it was better for both of you and he agreed.”

I talked to him for a few more minutes and hung up. Lost in thought again I walked towards the Starbucks across the street. Perhaps I should have paid a little bit more attention as to where I was going, because the next thing I know a warm, light brown liquid was dripping down my shirt. A small yelp escaped my mouth as I jumped back. I quickly tried to shake the coffee of my, luckily, black shirt, but it was no use.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” I heard someone mumbled as a napkin appeared in front of my nose. I didn't look up to look at the holder of the napkin who kept mumbling apologies while at the same time trying to find out wither or not he should help me wipe the thankfully already luck warm coffee from my shirt. “Don’t worry.” I said, still looking at my ruined shirt. “It my fault, I should have paid more attention to where I was going.” I finally accepted the napkin and looked up at the person in front of me. I was met with a pair of familiar green eyes that were filled with surprise and slight confusion and I screamed. “DARREN!” I flung my arms around the man in front of me. “Avery?” He stammered. “Is it really you? I thought you’d left? Last thing I heard you lived across the country! Are you here for a visit or are you back?”

He pulled away from the hug and spun me around. “You haven’t changed a bit you know that.” He chuckled. “Well, neither did you.” I said and stopped twirling. “Wanna go inside, get a cup of coffee and catch up?” I asked and he nodded.

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“So tell me.” Darren said once we both had a drink and carefully took place at a table at the window. “What brings you back to B-more?” A couple of tears started to form on my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. “I don’t know if you heard about my mom….” Darren nodded. “I did, I’m so sorry Ave. I couldn’t make it to the funeral myself, but my mom went. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” I smiled weakly. “That’s okay.” He took a sip of his coffee and smiled. “So what have you been up to these past few years? Last time I saw you you were engaged to Gaskarth and then you suddenly ran off. He was devastated you were gone by the way…… and so was I.” He added after a few moments.

I wave of guilt washed over me. Darren had been my best friend ever since kindergarten. We did everything together and were inseparable, or at least until I started dating Alex. Darren never liked Alex, we even had a couple of fight over him which resulted in not speaking to each other for a few days. But after a while Darren, reluctantly, give in and decided to be happy for me. After I moved I never contacted him, partly because I wanted to cut all possible ties with Baltimore and partly because I was afraid of his inevitable ‘I told you so’. But sitting here, talking like nothing ever happened made me realize how much of a mistake I’d made. I’d really missed Darren and, even after not seeing or hearing anything from me, he was still my best friend.

“So nobody ever told you why I left?” I asked, slightly surprised. Darren shook his head. “No, so tell me, what happened?” I shrugged and looked down at the table. “He cheated on me, with Lindsey, couple of weeks before the wedding.” “That fucking son-of-a-bitch!” Darren cursed loudly, causing a few people to look up at us. “With Lindsey? Wait you mean the girl that was one of your best friends in high school?” I nodded and he swore loudly again. I chuckled a humorless laugh. “That’s not even the worst part, actually it’s only the beginning…..”

About an hour later I told Darren everything that had happened in the past four years until right now. “…And that’s pretty much it.” Darren didn’t say anything for a few seconds before pulling me in a bone-crushing hug. “Why didn’t you ever call me Ave, I was so worried about you.” He said as he let me go. “I’m sorry Dare, I just wanted to forget about this place completely, I realize now how stupid I was, I really missed you.” He looked at me and immediately knew that wasn’t the whole truth. “Aaaand….” He said. I looked down, a little embarrassed. “And I was afraid you were going to tell me I told you so, you’d been right about Alex all along.” “But I never wanted to be right Ave, not If meant you got hurt.” He chuckled, but it sounded a bit dark. “Besides, the only reason I did it was because I was jealous of him.”

I froze. “Jealous? Of Alex? Why?” I stammered. Darren smiled. “It doesn’t matter, it’s all in the past. I was young. Young, foolish and completely in love with my best friend….” “I... You…. What?” I stammered. “You were in love with me?” I said softly. Darren laughed. “Yeah, in high school I had the biggest crush on you, but you were so hooked on Alex you never noticed.” “I’m sorry.” I whispered, feeling like a horrible person for never noticing. Darren laughed. “Don’t worry about it Ave, that was years ago, I’m just glad to have you back here.” And with that comment Darren ended the awkward moment in our conversation.

Darren and I spend another good two hours talking and laughing like we were back in high school. I’d been a while since I had this much fun. Spending time with Darren made me happy. For a moment I had no worries and no drama in my life. Unfortunately that moment couldn’t last forever and before I knew it Darren had to leave. I decided to walk him to his car, not really wanting him to go yet.

We were in front of his car when Darren suddenly stopped and turned to face me. “Hey, would you like to go to dinner with me? Tonight? Maybe catch a movie afterwards?” He tried to look casual, but I could hear the nervousness in his voice. “Are you asking me out?” I said in a teasing voice. “What? No! I just want to hang out!” He said too quickly. I giggled. “Really? Movie, dinner, sounds an awful lot like a date to me….” “No, no date, I promise, just friends.” Darren tried to reassure me. “But what if I want it to be a date?” I said shyly, the teasing tone in my voice completely gone. Darren’s eyes widened slightly before a grin appear on his face. “Well…. If that’s what you really want… who am I to say no?”
I giggled. “So I’ll pick you up around…7?” I nodded. “Sounds good, I’m staying at my dad’s house by the way.” “Alright, then I’ll see you tonight.” He said and placed a quick kiss on the corner of my mouth before getting into his car.

As I watched the car drive off I had the creepy feeling someone was watching me. I slowly let me gaze wander across the busy street until they were met by a pair of familiar brown ones. My stomach did a couple of uneasy flips as he continued the stare at me with a blank expression on his face. I quickly turned around and headed back home. But as I walked away I could still feel Alex burning stare and I suddenly got the terrible feeling something was going to go horribly wrong….