My Chemically Tragic Romance

Okay maybe this is possible…maybe this will work out. I think I will do it. I showered and I waited in my room for Gerard to get there, it was ten and I was getting sleepy from my lack of sleep from the night before. I turned on the tv to try to concentrate on something as to not fall asleep. I decided it would be okay if I just closed my eyes for just a little while….

~Gerard’s Point of View~
I looked at the clock on my cell, 10:59. Oh shit, I hope Ellie is still awake. I was looking for the drawing of Ellie I did a while back, I had been searching for it since I got home from Ellie’s house. I wonder if I stashed it somewhere so I would remember, but I cant…dumbass. Aha! I found it! It was under my mattress, I had put it there for safe keeping :P
I grabbed my favorite leather jacket and climbed out my basement window and headed to Ellie’s house. I got to Ellie’s backyard and started climbing the tree that would lead me to her room window. I climbed all the way up and stood on a small patch of roof in front of her window, I looked inside to see if she was awake and saw that she was sleeping peacefully on her bed, her tv on. I tried to pull up her window; praying it was not locked. Thankfully it wasn’t and I carefully climbed in, trying not to make too much noise as to not wake anyone in the house or Ellie. She must have been tired from the night before when she and Frank helped me to my room, I quietly closed the window and tiptoed to her bed. I kneeled next to her, facing her, she was sleeping so soundly that I didn’t want to wake her. I watched her sleep for a while then I couldn’t help myself but to kiss her lips gently. She stirred.
“mhmm…”
“Ellie?” I whispered.
“Gerard?” she woke slowly, wiping her eyes and impulsively fixing her hair. “how did you get in here?” she didn’t sound very surprised.
“you left the window open.” I smiled
“did I?” she was being obvious. I laughed.
“yes you did.” I sat down next to her.
“Hey Ellie, I made you something.” I said pulling out the drawing of her with a rose in her hair and holding a bouquet of roses. She stared at the drawing for a while and then turned to me with a big smile and gave me a hug.
“Thank you Gee, its absolutely beautiful.” she was in awe of the drawing. I touched her hand shortly after that and looked into her eyes, the smudged black eyeliner highlighting the green and light brown colors of her beautiful eyes.
“Ellie. Have you thought about what I said earlier today?” I really hope she gives me a chance. I need to at least try to make it right with her, I love her so fucking much.

~Ellie’s point of view~

“yeah I have thought about it.”
“and?”
“I need you to get better Gerard.” he looked sad.
“Gerard I like you so much but in order for me to be with you you have to get your things together. I want to love you like I love Frank but … “
“but I’m not who I used to be.”
“its not that, I just want you to get better, you hurt me and Mikey and everyone when you drink.”
“Ellie, I have to confess…its not just the pills and the booze anymore… I tried out cocaine too. But its been a long time since I’ve done it and I wont do it again.” I just sat there in shock my hand over my mouth; trying to hold back tears.
“how…how did…why didn’t you tell me.”
“I tried to commit suicide when Darren…. I drank a lot that night and just the pills and the drugs mixed in and I couldn’t take it anymore. You were in the hospital and I only blamed myself; Ray and Bob talked me out of it. They promised me that they would never tell you what happened that night.”
Tears stung my eyes
“I didn’t want to hurt you with the stuff I do Ellie.”
“so what do you think your doing now?” I let the tears flow freely, Gerard had tears in his eyes too, he touched my hand gently.
“Ellie I’m going to get better….for you.” he hugged me tightly and didn’t let go for a long time.
Gerard stayed over that night, he didn’t want me to be alone with my thoughts. My mind roamed over the face that Gerard tried to kill himself and I couldn’t help but think of how miserable I would be if Gerard left, another loved one dead. I cant take another death especially if its Gee or Frank. I think I would have to kill myself before that would happen. But…then what?