Silent Promises

For the rest of that day, I received no peace from my nerves, even when that brilliantly green eyed boy was there. Looking at him made my shaking stop, I was still nervous, biting my fingers, but the shaking didn’t reappear until a fair while after.
I had him in most of my classes except art, maths and legal studies, he was everywhere. It made my day slightly more comfortable, without the constant shaking. Whether or not I liked it here, was a different question.
Everyone stared at me, or just like, walking away if I didn’t reply to them...which I can’t make myself do. No one seemed to realise that I just can’t speak. Yeah physically I could, but mentally, when I go to speak...the memories...my throat closes up, my head starts to pound, my heart races like a horse, and I can never get anything out. I just don’t try anymore.
At the end of the day, however, I didn’t want the green eyed boy to leave me alone because I cannot speak to him. It’s a different fear to the one i usually have. Usually, all that is on my mind is that he will find me.
I haven’t even had any friends for a year and a half; I wouldn’t know what to say even if I could make myself talk. I started shaking, and my heart was pounding, I should stop thinking about this so much.
Yet on the other hand, I could see him walking out of a building and it was calming me. I felt so relieved of my fear, it is still there, but I haven’t had any relief from it for a year and a half. Even a slight change felt nice.
As I think that though, I got slapped in the face with a memory, just as green eyed boy looks at me.
~
There’s blood everywhere. I can’t see anything but blood. Where’s Jacob? I can’t see Jacob, where is my Jacob? I hear a voice, a male voice, not my Jacob’s though. It’s lower, more severe, more hysterical.
He’s coming toward me, I can feel it. I want to scream, but I can’t.
Just as I think it’s the end, someone...
~
I felt arms shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to look into green ones, shivering frantically. He is touching me, where he touched me. He’s going to kill me, he’s going to kill green eyes, and he’s going to kill everyone, that was the only thing running through my mind.
I felt tears start running down my face, silently. Green eyes quickly took me somewhere secluded, where no one can see us, behind some building. I didn’t realise that I wasn’t completely scared that he had taken me away from everyone else, I was focused on the memory and him.
I rocked back and forth as green eyes stays firmly at least five centimetres away from me, having seen my reaction from touch before.
Yet with him by my side, I slowly calmed down, the memory still bright in my mind, but his eyes gave me peace.
I cannot let him die.