Just A lonely Star

Josh’s POV –

It had been two days. Two days since I had last spoke to May.
The last two days had been terrible. I had taken to my bedroom, afraid to leave. Everyone must hate me. I know Max does, he had made it clear that night.

But it wasn’t my fault.

I would never do that to him, to her… to anyone. I loved them both, so very much.

What had happened that night was that I had played the show, I was high on adrenaline, it was the best show we had ever played and for our whole set I could see the girl I loved, dancing and singing along with me. I couldn’t wait to see her. I went to the dressing room, it was empty, and all the boys had gone to see their family members and friends before showering and meeting fans. I showered quickly, eager to change, greet fans and then finally see May. It was as I was drying my hair, fully clothed now that things got strange. I lay down on the sofa, taking a few minutes to calm down before going to meet fans. I closed my eyes for a few minutes when I heard the door open, the clicking of heels on the tile floor of the dressing room led me to believe it was May. I felt her straddle me, her body pressed against mine. My eyes still closed, smiling now, she kissed me. It felt different, it felt wrong. I opened my eyes quickly; the face that met me was not the one I had hoped. This girl had blonde hair and tanned skin. It was at the moment I realised it was Sara, Max’s long-term girlfriend. I tried to pull away but Sara had me pinned to the sofa by now, her lips tasted terrible, the taste of alcohol was overwhelming. She was drunk, very, very drunk. I felt disgusting. It was then that I heard a gasp. Sara’s head shot up, I looked towards where the noise had come from. And there they stood. May and Max were stood side by side, both looking as though their worlds had been turned upside down. May ran away, her hand covering her mouth. Max turned to me, he shouted at me, saying I was a disgrace of a friend, asking how I could treat him that way. I didn’t know what to say. Max turned on his heel, following May. I also followed, running after her. I cut ahead of Max. I shouted her, she turned to me, her eyes swollen and red, her makeup smudged. My heart broke at the sight of how upset she looked.

`May, It’s not what you think’ I said, quietly but evidently loud enough for her to hear. She looked at me, straight in the eye, her eyes were full of venom. She was angry and hurt.

`I knew you were too good to be true’

`May, I love you’ I had finally built up the guts to tell her.

`Don‘t fucking lie to me, Franceschi. I was just another notch in your bedpost’

I was too late.

She hated me.

She turned around quickly, starting to run again.

I fell to the ground. My knees hitting the ground hard, I didn’t care about the pain, I deserved it. I sat there like that for what seemed like forever. I was so ashamed. I hadn’t done anything, but I felt like I was all to blame. I felt like I had betrayed both of them.

That night I spent hours, on the floor, crying, angry with myself, angry with Sara.

I hated myself.

Next thing I remember, Rob was picking me up.

`Elissa has taken May home; I’m taking you back there now. I don’t know what has happened but you look terrible, is everything ok?’

I looked at him. I felt almost angry. `is everything ok?’ was that all he had to say? Was that all he could conjure up?

`I’m fine.’ I said, bottling up my anger, I didn’t need another person hating me.

When we arrived at my house I went straight to my bedroom, ignoring the worried calls of my sister.

I lay awake on my bed for hours that night. Not crying, just lying there. I felt empty. I felt alone.

But I didn’t care about me. All I cared about was the girl I had betrayed.

The only girl I had really loved and I’d messed it up.