Just A lonely Star

Josh’s POV –

I strummed my guitar, coming up with a soft rhythm. I had the lyrics all down.
Although I felt like shit and had ruined everything good about my life, I was kind of thankful in a way. All of the anger, sadness and heartbreak I felt had helped to diminish my writers block. I had written two songs and was working on a third. The other two were a bit pointless, just words strung together to make a mediocre song of some kind but the one I was currently working on was, if I do say so myself, pretty damn good.

I played the song all the way through, closing my eyes and singing softly.

“So this is the end of you and me

We had a good run and I’m setting you free

To do as you want, to do as you please without me

Remember when you were my boat and I was your sea?

Together we’d float so delicately

But that was back when we could talk about anything

‘Cause I don’t know who I am

When you’re running circles in my head

And I don’t know just who you are

When you’re sleeping in someone else’s bed

Three whole words and eight letters late

And that would have worked on me yesterday

We’re not the same, I wish that could change

But it can’t

And I’ll say your name and in the same breath

I’ll say something that I’ll grow to regret

So keep your hands on your chest and sing with me

That we don’t wanna believe

‘Cause I don’t know who I am

When you’re running circles in my head

And I don’t know just who you are

When you’re sleeping in someone else’s bed

So it’s true what they say

If you love someone, you should set them free

Oh, it’s true what they say

When you throw it away

I don’t know who you are

I don’t know who you are

Oh, ’cause I don’t know who you are

When you sleep with somebody else

‘Cause I don’t know who I am

When you’re sleeping’ with him”

By the end of the song there were tears streaming down my face. I set down my guitar, ran my
fingers through my hair and then put my face into my hands. I was not just crying now, I was full on sobbing. I felt my shoulders shaking, my eyes still pouring tears.

I gathered myself together a little as I remembered that May was in the house opposite and would be able to see me if she looked out of the window. It was as I thought this that I glanced outside, May wasn’t in the house. She was outside walking, well practically stumbling, towards the front door.

She was drunk, very drunk. I noticed Max lying on a sun lounger by the pool; the scattering of beer
bottles surrounding him suggested that he was also drunk.

I looked back towards May, she reached for the door handle but before opening the door she glanced up towards my window. Her eyes met mine. I noticed how pale she looked. She looked distraught but somehow she still managed to be he most gorgeous thing in existence. I opened my mouth, not quite sure what I was going to say, it’s not like she would hear me through the glass. She shook her head, turned around and walked into the house.
I had really fucked it up with her.
I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was awake most of that night; I finally fell asleep during mid-day when my body could no longer take the exhaustion.

I was woken up at about 7 o’clock though when I got a very worried phone call from Matt.

`Josh, you have to talk to May. Now.’

`You don’t think I’ve tried? She hates me Man.’

`No, she doesn’t. Josh, I'm being serious, she loves you and shes leaving’

`Leaving? Where is she going?’

`She said something about going back to New York.’

`What?! No, Matt! Stop her, please’

I was crying now, my voice cracked as I shouted down the phone at him.

`I’ve tried, we’ve all tried. And max doesn’t want to carry on with the tour’

`Why would he do that? If he doesn’t tour then we can’t play, no one else knows the songs’

`I know. You’ve fucked up big time. And no one can fix this but you. You need to go speak to Max, convince him to carry on with tour and then you need to go sort out May. Her flight leaves at 10.30’

`Thanks man. Do me a favor please?’ I asked, `make sure May doesn’t get on that plane before I get to her?’

`Sure. You’re not the only one that’s grown to love her, you know? She’s like a sister’

I hung up the phone.

I grabbed a coat and put on some shoes, and ran out of the house.

First stop, Max’s house.

It took me a few minutes to get there; he didn’t live too far away. I knocked on the door loudly, nerves taking over now.

`Josh, its been a while since we've seen you here. How are you?'

It was Max's mum. She is such a sweetheart but i didn't have the time for her now.

`Hey, Mrs Helyer. I know, I'd love to catch up but i really need to talk to Max, is he in?'

`Yeah, he's in his room, go straight up'

I ran past her and straight up the familiar stairs. I walked down the hall to Max's room, opened the door and there he was, sat on his bed, on his laptop. Deaf Havana were blasting from his speakers. As i opened the door he turned to look at me.

`Max, mate. I'm so sorry.'

Max shut down his laptop, discarding it on the floor, he stood up.

`You really hurt me Josh. I thought we were friends'

`We are. I love you so much, you have no idea. You've always been there for me, no matter what and i need you now. I think i've fucked everything up'

`You think?' he said, giving me the dirtiest look i've ever seen, `Why should i help you?'

`Because it wasn't my fault. I'd never do that to you, ever. You're my brother, brothers don't do that to each other'

i sat on the end of his bed, looking up at him as i spoke. I explained everything that had happened that night. Every single detail.

By the time i was done Max was sat on his bed also, his head in his hands. I put my arm around his shoulder, resting my head on his.

`I'm so sorry mate. You deserve so much better than her, if i could go back in time i would but i promise you i didn't come onto her. i was actually trying to get her off me'

Max turned to me, hugging me tightly, i could feel his tears soaking into my shirt. he turned to look at me.

`May.'

`Yeah, looks like that ended before it even started.'

`Josh, she fucking loves you. If she heard what you just told me she'd stay, she wouldn't go home'

`Yeah well. I don't think she even wants to talk to me'

Max got out his phone, and called someone.

`Where are you?' he asked to the person on the phone.

i heard mumbling from the other side

`Stay there. I um... want to say good bye'

i heard a muffled answer on the other side before Max said good bye and turned to me.

`Josh, I'm going to be honest, i don't think she'll want to see you, i think it'll just make it worse'

`You go, just convince her to finish tour, please.' i pleaded.

`Stay here then. I'll make her stay'

And with that Max left, running to his car, leaving me to stress about the outcome. All i could do was hope that when i got to the tour bus in two hours she will be there.

Whether she hates me or not, at least it gives me some more time and another chance to convince her that i love her and no one else.