The Mess I Made

Once the boys hit the stage the entire venue was completely chaotic. There were girls pushing each other against the stage so they can get just a few inches closer to them. Everyone was jumping and dancing with their hands in the air. I even saw a couple of girls fist pumping.

It was weird seeing all of these people here for them. I remember when it was just Ariana, Nikki, and I cheering them on in a cramped garage. I felt like I was watching someone else instead of the three boys that I've known since I was five years old.

Each of the boys have such a different stage pressence. Zach's all over the place. One minute he is dancing awkwardly and the next he's dragging the microphone back and forth like a rockstar. Cameron always had a smile on his face and was randomly holding his hand out to the girls in front of him. Michael was rocking out to say in the least. When there was a faster part of a song he couldn't stop bobbing his head and singing as loud as the girls in the crowd.

When they were about halfway through the set I saw Cameron looking around. When his eyes landed on mine he smiled and gave a small wave. I saw Zach looking over at Cameron and tried to see which girl in the crowd had caught his attention. I stepped back into the shadows a bit so Zach wouldn't see me. I don't know what he would do if he saw me standing in the crowd after three years. Would he just stop completely or would he act as if nothing had happened? I didn't want to take the chance of him seeing me so I slid my sunglasses on to shiled my eyes. There was no way he could recognize me especially since I was in the way back.

"We only have one song left for you guys tonight but after that we'll be hanging out for a few hours. If you want to meet us just go by the merch table!" said Zach shouting into his microphone, "This song is called Not Your Birthday!" The first few chords started playing and I took it as my cue to start heading backstage.

"Where do you think you're going?" Katherine stood in front of me, "I told you I'd be seeing you around."

"I was going to get a bit of fresh air. It's hot in here." I pretended to fan myself.

"Why are you even here? Haven't you noticed that they've moved on with their lives? Maybe you should do the same."

I put my hands on my hips, "I'm here to get back what's mine. They're my friends and the last time I checked you were just as screwed up as I was."

Katherine pushed her bangs out of her face, "People change."

"Some people do. You haven't. You're the same bitter bitch you've always been." I pushed my way past her.

I started making my way towards the door and turned around making sure Katherine wasn't following me. When I saw her looking away I turned the opposite way and walked over to the backstage area. There was a man standing there guarding the door.

"Hi." I stood there awkwardly. The man didn't even move a muscle. "I'm suppose to meet the boys back here?"

"Name?"

"Skyelynn Highland. Cameron told me he left my name at the door." The man looked down at his clipboard and scanned the few names that were on there.

"There is no Skyelynn Highland on this list."

"Why don't you let me have a look?" I reached for the clipboard but he pulled it up closer to him.

"You're not on here mam. I checked. When you're in charge of something you can make your own set of rules and until then I suggest that you leave before I escort you out myself."

The door knob began turning and Ariana stepped out. "What are you still doing here?"

"Cameron told me to meet them back here."

"You've talked to Cameron already?" She folded her arms over her chest.

"Yes, I have. I've talked to him a few times now and he said that staying backstage would probably be good for everyone."

"Whatever." Ariana turned to the man at the door, "You can let her in Earnie."

"Miss. White, she's not on the list."

"Just let her in. I'll take care of her from here." She held the door open for me, "Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to come in?" I followed her inside. I took a seat on the nearby chair and she did the same. "You must have some sort of plan or you wouldn't be here. What is it?"

"I just wanted to apologize-"

"An apology? That's it? They deserve a lot more than that."

"What am I going to do? Bake them cookies? No. I just want them to hear me out. I just want you to hear me out."

"I'm listening."

"I'm so sorry for taking advantage of our friendship Ari. You were the only one who was there for me after that night and I ruined it."

"You sure did."

The door knob began turning once again and the door opened. Michael, Zach, and Cameron came in laughing and talking about the show that they just had. I stood up from my chair and just watched them. They all looked so happy but I knew those smiles wouldn't last for long.

Once they were done talking and laughing Zach turned and saw me standing with Ariana.

"What the hell are you doing here?" His tone of voice sounded cold and I looked to the ground.

"I just wanted to-"

Cameron spoke up, "I invited her."

Zach made a confused face at Cameron, "Why would you do that? I confided in you Cameron. I told you how I felt about her. I told you how I felt after that night and the many days after that."

Michael stood there in silence watching the two boys. He hadn't looked over at me once since he first saw me standing there. He slowly moved over to where we were standing and pulled me into a hug.

"How are you doing baby girl?" He whispered.

I whispered back, "Much better." He let go and scratched his head not knowing what to do next.

"I can't deal with this right now. We need to get changed and get out there."

"I need to talk to you Zach. I need to talk to all of you."

With his teeth clenched together he said, "Fans come first. You should leave."

"But-"

"Just go Skye." said Ariana, "We'll deal with this later."

"Can't you guys just hear her out? Let her explain herself at least and then decide on what you're going to do from there." said Cameron. Zach didn't respond. Instead he left the room and went into another to change shirts. Michael followed closely behind him.

"Thanks Cam, at least we tried..."

"I'm going to get them to hear you out. It just may take a few days." He handed me a piece of paper, "Write down your number. When I figure something out I'll give you a call."

I quickly scribbled my number on the paper and handed it to him, "Don't go getting my number confused with some other girls."

"I wont. You're kind of hard to forget." He looked down at the paper, "Plus you're handwriting looks more like a boys than the other numbers I've gotten." He started laughing when he saw me scowling.

"Hey! I have good penmanship!"

He was still laughing, "Sure you do."

I rolled my eyes, "I guess I should be going then. It was nice seeing you again."

He smiled, "You too." I turned to leave, "Skye, I'll talk to them. I promise." I nodded and walked out the door. When the door closed behind me I sighed.

I knew everything wasn't going to go back to the way it was but I didn't know it was going to be this hard.