Shouting Under My Breath.

She laid in Nate’s bed wishing Dan was next her instead. It took everything in her not to moan Dan’s name when she’s with Nate. She felt horrible that when she would lay in bed with Nate and day dream about being with Dan.

“Doll why are you still awake?” Nate asked half asleep as he rolled over looking into her blue eyes. “I can’t sleep.” She said simply.

“Come here.” Nate said signaling for her to turn around. She rolled over and Nate tightly pulled Sparrow into his chest. “I love you so much.” He whispered in her ear. Those five words made her feel like complete shit. Nate was madly in love with her and she was in love with someone else.

“I love you too.” She said before her heavy eyes finally shut.

"I leave in three days." She said lying on Dan's bed. They were both lying flat on their backs staring at the ceiling while holding hands.

"I don't want to talk about it." Dan said simply. "I know I don't either, but its happening." She said rolling over on her side. "It doesn't have to." He said rolling over and staring into her blue eyes.

"Dan are you asking me to stay?" She asked staring straight into his crystal blue eyes. "I want you to stay, but I know how much you miss your family." She loved and hated the fact that Dan I knew how much she was home sick. She really wished he would beg her to stay.

"I'm going to miss." She said grabbing his hand. "I'm going to miss you too, but you're not gone yet." He said before pressing his lips to hers.

Sparrow woke up in the morning to an empty bed. She looked over the clock that read 11:46. She crawled out of bed and grabbed one of Nate's shirts off the ground.

She walked into the kitchen to find Nate cooking beacon and eggs for the two of them. "Morning." She said walking towards him as he was putting here food on plates.

"Morning doll." He said pulling her into a hug when she got to him. "How did you sleep?" He said handing her a plate.

"When I finally fell asleep I slept really good." She said sitting down at the table. "How did you sleep?" She asked getting up to get the orange juice out of the fridge.

"I slept great like I always do when you're over." He smiled.

“As soon as I finish breakfast I need to go over to my parent’s house.” Sparrow said sitting down. “Ok can we do dinner or something?” He asked just wanting to spend time with her.

“I would love to say yes, but I’m eating dinner over my parent’s house.” She lied. She really wanted to hang out with Dan after she went over her parent’s house, and clear up everything that happened last night. She went home with Nate with a complete feeling of rejection.

Sparrow and Nate finished eating breakfast and Sparrow went and got dressed. “Are you sure you have to go?” Nate asked sitting on the edge of his bed watching her get dressed. “Yeah. I’m sorry.” She said walking over and lightly pressing her lips to Nate’s.

They walked out to Nate’s car holding hands in silence. “I love you.” He said as he opened the car door for her. “Love you too.” She said getting in the car.

The car ride was completely silence outside the radio lightly playing. For some reason the silence felt awkward to Sparrow. She found it strange because her and Nate used to never have awkward silence.

“Here you are doll.” Nate said pulling up in front of Sparrow’s house. “Thanks for the ride.” She said leaning over and lightly pecking him on the lips. “No problem.” He smiled as she got out of the car.

She walked up the pathway to only see her car letting her know she was going to be home alone for a few minutes before she went to her parents house. She walked inside and went straight to her bedroom.

Hey I’m sorry about last night, can we hang?

She sent it and decided to take a shower before going to her parent’s house. She walked out into the hall and grabbed a towel from the linen closet. She walked into the bathroom and turned the water on. She looked at her phone to see that she didn’t have any text from Dan.

She got out the shower and walked into her room merely just wrapped in a towel and decided to search for something to wear. She got dressed real quick and decided against blow drying her hair. She decided to just let it air dry naturally. She put on some red lipstick and head out the door.

She got in the car and turned on some Brighten. She looked at her phone one last time before she started driving to see if Dan texted her back. She saw nothing. She bit her lip staring at her phone.

She wasn’t sure if Dan was ignoring her or if he was busy recording or something. She decided that she should just text him again.

Once again I’m sorry could you please just text me or call me.

When she got to her parents’ she walked inside to find her brother Logan sitting at the kitchen table with a grin on his face. “Sparrow.” He said the second he saw her. “Hi Logan.” She said as he pulled her into a hug.

“So where is mom and dad? I didn’t see there cars outside.” She asked sitting down across from where Logan was sitting. “They went and got some stuff to make dinner.” He said giving her a smile.

“So what’s up with you? You’re acting strange.” Logan and Sparrow had always been close. She knew that when things got bad she could always talk to Logan, and he wouldn’t judge her. “And don’t you dare giving me some bullshit answer like, nothings wrong.” He said giving her a concerned look.

“I know I can’t lie to you. You would see right through it.” She said getting up and walking over to toward the fridge to grab a drink.

“So what’s wrong?” He asked.

“You have to promise you wouldn’t judge me.” She said putting her pinky out. “I promise.” He locked his pink with hers.

“So what’s wrong?” He asked. “Okay remember the summer I was in England?” He nodded his head. “Well remember how I had a boyfriend while I was over there?” He nodded his head once again. “Well he’s been here for like a month and half, and I’ve been kinda with him.” Sparrow said shamefully

“When you mean you’re kinda with him, you me sleeping with him?” He asked making sure he everything correct. “Yeah.” She said looking at the table.

“Are you still with Nate?” Logan asked wanting to make sure he had all the correct information. “Yeah I am.” She said simply. “You need to end things with Nate.” Logan said. “But I love him.”

“Yeah I know but if you’re cheating on him with Dan it’s not really fair. You need to let one of them go.” Logan said standing up.

“I need to call Dan.” She said looking at her phone seeing that he still hadn’t texted her back. “Okay.”

She walked into the living and dialed Dan all too familiar number. She pressed the phone to her ear and waited to here Dan’s all too familiar accent she love. She got nothing it went voicemail.

“Hey Logan I need to go talk to Dan. Please tell mom and dad something came up, and that I’m fine.” She said walking back into the kitchen. “Sparrow I really hope everything works out.”

[&]

“Mate is there a reason you didn’t answer your phone?” Matt asked Dan as they sat on the couch watching TV. “Yeah I don’t want to talk to Sparrow.” Dan said staring at the TV.

“Why don’t you want to talk to Sparrow?” Matt asked confused on why Dan was acting like a high school girl avoiding Sparrow’s calls. “Because I don’t feel like hearing her tell me how she’s sorry for swapping spit with Nate in front of me.” He said finally looking at Matt.

“Quit being a twat and pick up your phone when she calls you or even better you should call her back.” Matt said sarcastically. “I’m not doing either of those.” Dan said standing up and walking towards his room.

Matt was alone in the living room when he heard a knock at the front door. He opened the door to find Sparrow. “Ello love, come in.” He said giving her a smile.

“Thanks.” She said stepping inside. “Is Dan here?” She asked following Matt over to the couch. “Yeah he’s in his and Josh’s room.” He said sitting down. “Thanks.”

She walked down the hall and knock on Dan and Josh’s door. “Come in Max.” Josh hollered. “Sorry I’m not Max.” Sparrow said opening the door.

“You know I’m completely fine with that. I would much rather spend some alone time with you then him any day.” Josh joked crawling off his bed. “Shut the fuck up Josh.” Dan said finally speaking.

“Well I’m going to leave you and a Dan to talk or shag. Which ever works with you.” Josh said laughing as he walked out of the room.

“So is there a reason you’ve been ignoring my phone calls and text?” She asked sitting on the bed next him. “I just didn’t feel like talking to you.” He said getting off the bed.

“Are you being serious?” She asked shocked. ”Yeah completely serious. I don’t feel like talking to you.”

“You are the biggest asshole. I came over here to tell you how sorry I am for last night and you’re being an ass to me.” She said getting in his face.

“Sparrow you can’t have it both ways any more.” He said grabbing her shoulders and staring into her eyes. “What?” She yelled.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stand the thought of him touching you, and you moaning his name. That purely disgusted me.” He said releasing her.

“So you want me to choose you for you to just leave me in like a month?” She said staring into his blue eyes as tears started welling up in her eyes.

“You need to choose I can’t do this any more.” Dan said staring into her blue eyes.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s easy you either choose me or him.” He said. She was silent letting him know she didn’t know who to choose.

“You need to leave.” He said with tears welling up in his eyes.

“Okay.” She said as tears streamed down her pale cheeks.