Shouting Under My Breath.

To say that Dan distracted Sparrow would be understatement. He was the only thought that ran through her mind these days. She couldn’t really go a minute without thinking of him. With school being done for the summer she was trying to divide up her time to the best of her ability between Dan and Nate.

She lucked out that Dan was really understanding, that she needed to spend time with Nate, but Nate on the other hand was in the dark about everything. Whenever she was with Dan she would lie to Nate and tell him she was hanging out with Alice. Alice didn’t really approve of Sparrow lying to Nate, but she knew Sparrow and Dan’s relationship was all innocent so she played along.

Sparrow sat on her bed flipping through a magazine trying to keep her mind off of Dan. Everything about him made her think of him. The way he smiled when he was around her. The way he said her name. Everything about him made her fall in love with him all over again.

What the bad thing was she was also in love Nate, and Nate was in love with her. Sparrow never understood when she was younger how people could claim they were in love with two people. She now knew very well how that felt.

Sparrow was brought out of her thoughts when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.

“Come in.”

“Hey Sparrow, what are you doing?” Alice asked as she walked into her room.

“Just reading a magazine.” She said closing the magazine, and sitting up to cross her legs.

“Do you have any plans for tonight?”

“Yeah I’m going to go over to Nate’s house and watch a movie.”

“Does he know that Dan’s here yet?”

“No I haven’t told him, because I don’t want the argument that I already knows going to happen.” She said hopping off her bed.

“What argument, do you knows going to happen?” Alice had a feeling that she already knew, but she wanted to hear it from Sparrow herself.

“Nate freaked out when we first started dating and I had pictures of Dan. He’s going to freak out even more when he learns that he’s in California. He’ll feel insecure and ask me not to see him, and I’m not going to stop hanging out with Dan no matter what.” Sparrow said as she grabbed a pair of pants off the floor, and shimmied into them.

“If you think it’s for the best then I support you.” Alice sat on the corner of Sparrow’s bed as Sparrow got dressed.

“I do think it’s for the best.”

“Then do what makes you happy. Just try not to hurt Nate.”

“I don’t plan on hurting Nate. I love him.”

“He loves you too.”

“Yeah I know.”

Sparrow grabbed her keys and walked out to her car. She got in the car and noticed Dan’s denim jacket sitting on the floorboard of the passenger’s side. She picked it up and smiled to herself. She could still smell his cologne on it.

She bit her lip debating on wearing it or not. She didn’t see didn’t really see a problem in her wearing it. She used to always wear Dan’s shirts. So what would be the problem with her wearing his jacket now?

She got out of the car and put his denim jacket on and rolled up the sleeves to her elbows. It was big but it fit perfectly. She smiled as she got back into her car.

She drove to Nate’s house listening to Every Avenue and thinking about Dan’s smile. He was like a drug to her all the sudden. She was purely intoxicated just thinking about him.

She pulled into Nate’s drive and told herself that she needed to stop thinking about Dan and focus on Nate. She walked up the path way and knocked on the door waiting for Nate to answer the door. “Hey baby.” He said pulling her into a hug the second the door was all the way opened. “Hi.”

“Whose jacket are you wearing?” He asked wondering why she was wearing a mans jacket that had cologne on it. She stared at him blankly not really sure what to say. She knew she couldn’t tell him it was Dan’s. He would freak out completely.

“It’s Logan’s.” She lied.

“Logan as in your older brothers?” He asked trying to reassure himself.

Logan was her brother that was two years older then her. The two were really quite different, but at the same time had similar personalities. He lived about twenty minutes away from her, but with work and stuff, they really weren’t able to see much of each other.

“Yeah. He was over today, and he left it so I decided I wanted to wear it.”

“Oh how was it spending time with him? I know you don’t see him very often.” She hated lying to him, but she knew it was pretty much her only choice right now.

“It was really nice. I wish I could see him more.”

“So I was think since I know how much you love you classic eighties movies. Why don’t we watch The Breakfast Club?” Nate sounded so proud in himself at his movie choice.

“That sounds like an amazing idea.”

Sparrow took off Dan’s jacket and laid it on the chair next to the couch, and sat down on the couch waiting while Nate made popcorn and put in the movie. She bit her lip trying to keep her mind busy, by thinking about how sweet Nate was for getting her favorite movie so they could watch it together.

Nate laid down on the couch and Sparrow laid between her legs as the movie played. Sparrow focused all her attention on movie trying to keep her mind off of Dan. Nate watched the movie intently and aimlessly played with Sparrow red hair.

“What are you doing?” Sparrow turned around and asked him.

“I’m playing with your hair, is that a problem?” He was confused on why she was asking him. Whenever they watched a movie together he always played with her hair.

“No, it’s not a problem.” She said turning her attention back to the movie.

”So what’s the picture choice for tonight love?” He asked giving her a crooked smile. “I was think The Breakfast Club, if you don’t mind.” She said giving him a hopeful smile. She had always had a love for classic eighties movies.

“Of course not my dear.” He said as he took the movie from her.

They watched about twenty minutes of the movie before there bodies were tangled together on the couch. Sparrow was straddling a shirtless Dan’s hip, and had her lips all over Dan’s neck. A moan escaped his lips before he brought his lips to hers.

They were brought out of their bliss when all the lights went out, leaving them completely in the dark.

“We might have a problem love.” He said as they both sat up on the couch.
“Do you have candles?” She asked.

“Yeah under the kitchen sink.” He stood up and grabbed her hand so he could lead her towards the sink.

The two of them lit about ten candles in the living room, and sat down on the couch. “You know I was really enjoying that movie.” He laughed.

“Oh I bet you were.” She said rolling her eyes.

She was fully enthralled in the movie when she felt Nate press his lips gently to the back of her neck. Nate loved every about Sparrow. She was his perfect girl. He love the way he sweet skin tasted as he kissed her. He really thought she was his perfect girl.

He leaned her forward and started kissing up and down her spine slowly. She bit her lip as he continued to kiss her. She turned her body around so that she was straddling his waist as he started kissing her collar bones. He had his hands holding her hips securely. A moan passed her lips as he started to suck on her sweet spot.

He wasted no time taking his shirt off, and helping Sparrow take hers off. He continued to kiss up and down her neck as he worked on getting her pants unbuttoned. Sparrow couldn’t help but moan as he continued to kiss her. She closed her eyes, and that’s when Dan’s face appeared.

She pulled away gasping for air completely shocked that she was thinking about Dan while she was about to have sex with Nate.

“Are you alright?” Nate asked confused on what just happened.

“Yeah I’m complete fine.”

“What just happened?” He asked pushing some of her hair behind her ear.

“Nothing.” She pressed her lips back to his, to try to get him from asking questions. She couldn’t dare tell him that see saw Dan’s face when she closed her eyes.

She kissed him like she was trying to forget. In all reality she was trying to forget. She was trying her hardest not to think of Dan. Nate managed to get out of his pants and boxers in one move. He got Sparrow out of her shorts and underwear, and things continued to pick up as their lips moved in sync.

She laid in Nate’s bed naked under the covers feeling completely dirty. For some reason she was cheating on Dan and at the same time she felt like she was mentally cheating Nate. She felt like her life was becoming on big emotional train wreck.

Everything about Nate was safe. She didn’t understand why she wanted to mess up something that was going so good for her. Nate was the type of guy that would always be there for her no matter what, and she wouldn’t have to worry about distance or him not being home all the time. She knew Nate would be able to support her and keep her happy. Her family completely adored Nate. He was always polite and kind to her parents.

“What are you thinking about?” He rolled over looking into her blue orbs.

“Life” She said.

“What about life?” He asked trying to get more about her out.

“Everything about it.”

“Do you ever think about the future and where you’ll end up.” He laced his fingers together with hers.

“Yeah all the time.”

“Where do you think you’ll be in five years?”

“I don’t even know. I mean I think about it all the time, but I honestly have no clue where I’ll end up. Where do you think you’ll be?” She had absolutely no clue what he was going to say.

“I don’t know. I would like to be married and maybe have a kid, but who really knows.”

“Yeah who really knows?”

“You know Sparrow, you’re the kind of girl my mum told me if I ever found not to let go of.” He said lacing his fingers with hers as the walked through the park.

“Oh really? So does that mean your mum thinks you should marry me?” She teased. She caught him completely off guard. He had no clue what to say. Sure he thought about marrying her, but he had never told anyone. It was just one of his inner thoughts he kept to himself. He was truly in love with the girl he was holding hands with, even if everyone told him he was crazy for thinking he was in love after only knowing her for two months. That was another thought he kept to himself. He hadn’t told her that he loved her. Even though he did, he didn’t want to scare her off by being the clinging boyfriend that said I love you too soon.

“You know I’m just messing with you. We are way too young to get married.” She said leaning up and pecking him on the cheek.

“I know you’re joshing with me love.”

“Ok good.”

“How was your movie night with Nate?” Alice asked as Sparrow walked through the front door.

“It was fun.” She said walking over and sitting next to her on the couch.

“Why do you sound like some things wrong?”

“Because I was making out with Nate, and we were taking each others clothes off, when I closed my eyes and I saw Dan’s face.” She annoyed running her hand through her hair.

“That’s not good.”

“Yeah I know its not.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Alice asked.

“I have no fucking clue. I’m going to go lie down.” She said standing up.