Player of Hearts

"It is, every time I blink I see Jacob's really white ass," she whined trying not to giggle at Victor's pained expression, he wanted to laugh so bad it hurt his stomach.

“You guys are jerks, that’s insulting,” Jacob mumbled, sitting down next to Tess. “I’m not that white and Tess happens to have a very nice body.”

“Awww, thanks,” Tessa leaned over and kissed Jacob softly, Victor and I sticking out our tongues.

“Ewww, don’t get all love dovey! Some of us are about to eat breakfast,” I whined, Jacob smirking and wrapping his arms around Tess’ waist, pulling her closer. “Stop!”

"Why should we?" Tessa asked as she pulled away for a second.

"Because we're the newlyweds, not you two," Avalee pointed to herself and Victor then to the other two. "And plus you're making me feel awkward."

"Alright, only because I'm really hungry," Tessa pulled away from Jacob fully and walked to the fridge. “Starving actually. We drove here and we didn’t stop for anything except when we both had to piss really bad.”

“That great, and all, but I really didn’t need to know that,” I shook my head.

"Sure you did," Jacob grinned as he stood up and kneeled in front of Avalee. "Would you also like to know what pos-"

"Don't you dare," Victor glared at him while tightening his hold on Avalee's stomach. "You'll make me throw up the coffee I just drank."

"And he kind of needs that seeing as he hasn't ate or drank very much in the last week," Avalee excused as she leaned back. "Plus I'd like to keep the little food I have in my stomach."

"Alright, but if you ever need to know some cool pos-"

"Jacob!" Victor barked with wide eyes. "Just stop dude."

“Fine, fine, but Tess will tell you,” Jacob held his hands up in defense as Victor and Avalee looked over to Tessa, who blushed and shrugged.

“It was great.”

“Ewww!” Ava threw her hands over her ears. “Make them stop!”

“Alright, don’t scream,” Victor removed Ava’s hands and laughed. “Are we gonna go now?”

“Well, is everyone ready?” Ava looked around, everyone nodding. “Okay, then. Let’s go!”

"I'm tired," Tessa dropped her head on Avalee's shoulder. "I think I'm going to sleep the whole way."

"I think I'm going to sing, try not to think of my brother murdering me and laugh," Avalee nodded slowly. "Yep, that's my plan."

"Good plan," Tessa yawned and patted Avalee's back. "But I like mine better."

"Go sleep," Avalee laughed as she piled in the front seat of Victor's mustang. "I'm going to piss of Victor and listen to Sarah McLaughlin."

"That should be fun." Victor smiled slightly, then looked to Jacob. “Jacob? What about your car?”

“My brother lives around here, dropped the keys off with him,” Jacob nodded, him and Tessa climbing into the back seat.

“Oh,” Victor sighed and started the car, all of them getting situated for the three day drive home. It wasn’t long before they were on the road and Tessa was already passed out.

“Should I wake her up?” Jacob asked. “She’ll be up all night if I- No, wait, never mind. I’ll let her sleep. She needs the energy.”

“Oh hell no!” Victor yelled. “You’re not gonna fuck Tessa in the backseat of my car! I don’t want any shit back there.”

“But-“

“But nothing!” Victor turned into an exit. “Nothing!”

"I agree," Avalee nodded her head. "Jacob please, for the love of pancakes don't have sex with me in the car."

"Unle-"

"Finish that sentence and I will pull over and kill you," Victor stared in the rear view mirror. "My wife is off-limits dude."

"I was just jerking you're chain," Jacob laughed as he rubbed Tessa's arm. "I like her friend."

"You better," Victor's gaze flickered to Avalee. "I would kill him."

"I know," Ava nervously laughed as she grabbed his hand and kissed it softly.

“Hmm, well what about a blow job?” Jacob asked.

“No!” Ava and Victor both yelled at the same time, making Tessa jump up.

“Why is everyone yelling?” Tessa rubbed her eyes. “What did Jacob do?”

“Hey!” Jacob whined.

“Well, it had to have been your fault,” Tessa turned to Jacob and grinned. “But, seriously, why is everyone yelling?”

“Jacob is horny as fuck,” Victor explained.

“Oh,” Tess laughed slightly.

"I think I just threw up a little," Avalee held her hand to her mouth. "Jacob you're sick as fuck."

"She cussed!"

"She cusses," Victor chuckled as he gave her hand a squeeze. "But seriously Jacob, you don't keep a lid on that trap of yours I'll throw you out the window."

"You wouldn't," Jacob laughed.

"Want to try me?"

"Not really," Jacob shook his head as he pulled Tessa closer as a shield. "I'll shut up."

“What the hell?” Tessa growled. “Why am I the shield?”

“Sorry!” Jacob let go over her, Tessa dropping to his lap.

“Your lucky I love you…” Tess mumbled and closed her eyes again, attempting to fall back to sleep.

“I should rape her,” Jacob laughed.

“Shut the fuck up!”

"Okay, I didn't mean it literal," he laughed as he closed his eyes and thankfully his mouth, Avalee turned to Victor and sighed.

"You're friend is mental," she mumbled as he rubbed her leg comfortingly.

"Oh no he's not mental, he's fucking crazy."

"Same thing," she murmured as she closed her eyes and sang with the song playing over the radio.

"Not really, mental he can get better; fucking crazy there isn't hope left."

“True,” Avalee nodded.

“Ava?” Tessa mumbled from the back seat.

“Yeah?”