A Love Like War

"What the hell?" Matt said.

"Holy shit, Jack, I thought it'd never happen," came from Rian.

Alex and I had jumped away from each other the second we'd heard Jack's voice, but we hadn't moved off the couch, both too stunned to move. I wasn't sure if I was more surprised by the kiss or by the guys coming back.

"I win the bet! I win!" Jack was chanting, bouncing around the room. He was downright giddy.

"Wait, what fucking bet?" Alex exclaimed.

Zack spoke up, "We all put money on how long it'd take you two to kiss or have sex or whatever. Jack said it'd happen the first day."

"You guys bet on . . . What the fuck?" I sputtered. Was the sexual tension that obvious? I was completely humiliated.

"Well come on guys," Jack said, "You can only hide your feelings for each other for so long."

There was some laughter from the other guys, and then in the mix I heard Matt quietly mutter, "Of course this would fucking happen."

And then Alex was out of the room.

Everyone went silent. I was staring at Matt, who was staring at his phone. Zack, Rian, and Jack were all glancing back and forth between each other and the door, eyes wide. I shook my head and then launched myself from the couch, following Alex out of the room.

Alex was sitting against the wall to the right of the door in the hallway, his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs and head down. For a second I thought he was crying, but he looked up at me and his eyes were dry. I sat down next to him cautiously, worried he'd be angry or something.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, knowing this--whatever just happened--was my fault.

"For what?" he asked, looking straight forward, his face expressionless.

"Kissing you."

"Why? It's not like I didn't want you to."

"Then why are you so upset?"

"They weren't supposed to know. I didn't--I thought that the guys thought that I was over you."

"Why didn't you want them to know?" I asked. I was getting a bad feeling about where this was going; I was starting to think it had something to do with Matt's reaction to Alex and I kissing.

"When I told the guys a while ago that I kinda had a thing for you, Matt pulled me aside and told me he wasn't over you. Said he'd prefer it if I didn't try to get anywhere with you. I promised him I wouldn't . . . I didn't want him to find out I still had feelings for you," Alex said. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say, but his mouth just opened and closed again.

"If Matt wasn't over me then why the hell did he dump me?"

"He's always had a hunch that I had a thing for you. He didn't feel comfortable in the relationship."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

We were quiet for a long time, neither of us sure what to say. After a couple minutes, I rested my head on Alex's shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me. We stayed like that for a while.

Eventually, I broke the silence by saying the words that'd been dancing on my tongue since we'd kissed.

"I love you too."