The Rules of Life

Travis’s room was a mess.

I only had a minute to look around before Travis had picked me up and settled me down on his bed, firmly attaching his lips to mine. But that minute was all I needed. The floor was terrible; there was no sign of the carpet. It was coated in a thick layer of clothes and god knows what else. There were empty food containers, all low-fat stuff, scattered around, and two laundry baskets full of nicely folded clothes. The walls were covered in sports posters and even a few of the Budweiser girl, a few Laker girls, and Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Typical male room. It practically reeked of testosterone.

As Travis moved from my face to my neck, all thoughts were erased from my mind. I arched into his body, loving the feeling of someone against me. It had been so long. I hadn’t even known I’d missed this feeling. He pulled my shirt off and ran his fingers over my stomach and up my ribcage. His hands were warm and slightly calloused from sports. Travis kissed a trail down my sternum and blew a raspberry by my belly button.

“Way to kill the mood!” I teased. I was lying though. The mood was definitely not killed. Travis knew this too. He grinned at me and started to tug off my jeans. I closed my eyes and let myself relish the sensations of Travis’ touch. But as my eyes closed, my mind wandered. It wasn’t Travis anymore. It was Matt.

Matt trailed his hands down my bare legs with a feather light touch. His hands started to make their way up the insides of my legs and I gasped. Then it was gone and his lips were touching mine, his tongue provoking mine to join it in a dance. I relented. Of course I did. The attraction between Matt and I was undeniable. I wanted him. Every other sex had been just sex. This would be more. This would be love. How sappy I was becoming.

I opened my eyes, a secretive smile already blossoming on my lips. But it was not Matt’s eyes that met mine. My heart dropped to my feet and I’m sure my smile faltered. But Travis didn’t notice it. I felt awful. I could easily see Travis’s desire in his eyes, the desire that mixed with an emotion I didn’t even think Travis could feel: love. I was an awful person. He kissed me again. I couldn’t believe that I’d so vividly imagined Matt here. Each touch was nice, yes, but it lacked the spark that came with Matt Hardacker. Sometime in the midst of our affair, Travis had lost his shirt. It now lay forgotten and probably lost forever with the rest of his dirty clothes.

“Travis – ” But his lips cut me off. He was a good kisser, I had to give him that.

There was a giggle from the foot of the bed. Travis stopped kissing me and slowly turned to look behind him. “Hey, Carls,” he said slowly. I maneuvered my head to peer around Travis’s hulking body. A small girl with two dark pigtails, one a little higher than the other, was grinning at us. She looked about six.

“Carly? Are you in – oh my god!” Another woman entered the room and jumped at the sight of Travis, half-naked, getting horizontal with me, a little more half-naked. My face felt like it was on fire. Travis sighed and hung his head. “Carly, come with Mommy!” The woman, who had to be Travis’s mom, grabbed the little girl’s arm and pulled her from the room. As she was being led out the door, Carly called behind her, “Goodbye!”

I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together. “Family?” I guessed.

“Uh huh,” was Travis’s reply. I opened my eyes and grinned. Travis was blushing.

I reached up and poked his reddening cheek. “Aw,” I said in my best baby voice, “you’re blushing!” Travis swatted at my hand, easily holding his body up with one arm. God, he was built. He rolled off of me and grabbed a random shirt from the floor. I looked over the edge of the bed and wrinkled my nose. “Hey, Trav, where’s my clothes?” Travis shrugged. He tossed me a shirt from his clean clothes pile. It was like a dress on me, but definitely not something appropriate to meet his family in. But as luck would have it, I spotted my jeans on top of his desk. How they got up there, fuck if I know.

Travis kissed me on the lips lightly, lingering only for a moment. “You look good,” he whispered. I smiled at him, but inside my stomach twisted with a wave of guilt. He took my hand and led me downstairs.

His house was nice, clean, unlike his room. It smelled nice, like some kind of flower, which was probably owed to the huge bouquet in the front room. Travis’s mom was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Carly, who was coloring in a huge coloring book. She looked up when we walked in and jumped off her stool.

“Trabby!” she screamed. Travis dropped my hand just as she launched herself at him. “I missed you!”

“I missed you, too, munchkin,” Travis told her.

Carly frowned. “Don’t call me munchkin,” she pouted.

Travis put on an equally pouty face. “Don’t call me Trabby,” he mimicked. Instead of getting mad, like a normal kid would when her brother mocked her, Carly just giggled and wrapped her little arms around Travis’s neck. He spun her around. I smiled, watching them, and didn’t even notice when his mother approached me. She smiled, hesitantly at me, and held out her hand.

“I’m Megan,” she said.

I took her hand. They were small but strong. “I’m Kinley,” I said.

Megan smiled at me. She was very pretty, delicate and fragile looking, like a china doll. Her skin was pale and her dark hair silky. “It’s nice to meet you, Kinley,” she replied. Her large eyes were gray, just like Carly’s. I wondered what Travis’s dad looked like. He certainly didn’t get his bulky body and chocolate eyes from his mom. “Are you staying for supper?”

I looked at Travis, who shrugged. It was Carly who spoke up. “Yes, yes!” she cried. She wriggled around in Travis’s arms until he put her down. Then she thought. “Wait.” She walked up to me and tilted her head all the way back so she could look up at my face. “Will you color with me?” I was startled. Normally I repelled children just as much as I repelled everyone else. It was still so new for me, having people actually like me and want to be my friend. Or, gulp, my lover. Both of my lovers. Yikes.

“Uh, sure,” I said.

Carly nodded then. “Okay, she can stay,” she announced. She wrapped her hand around three of my fingers and pulled me towards the counter with surprising strength. She climbed up on her stool and patted the one next to her. I was very aware that Travis and Megan were watching me. I felt like a goldfish, being stared at by cats. Only I was sure that Travis and his mom didn’t want to eat me. “You can color on this page.” She pointed to the page opposite of hers. It was a cartoon flower, smiling happily up at me. Carly handed me three crayons and then went back to work on her own picture, a smiling blue sunshine.

I only had red, pink, and blue. Those didn’t not make for an accurate flower. But she was little and her sun was blue. So I grabbed the red and started in on the grass.

-

Ezra Elton was practically identical to Travis. They shared the same stocky build, though Ezra was growing wider, and now with muscles. They had the same dark eyes that sparkled mischievously and smile that could show a wide range of emotions. And just like Travis, Ezra was loud and boisterous.

“McKinley Miller, huh? Sounds like a stripper name,” Ezra announced as we all sat down for dinner. Just as Travis had told me on our first date, his mom was really into watching her weight. We were dining on chicken salad. I was a meat-eater and the veggies were plentiful. I wished that I was like Carly and only had to eat the chicken and a few tomatoes.

Travis choked on his water, which I thought was pretty hypocritical. He’d certainly said things just as bold. Megan looked slightly appalled. I didn’t know what to say besides suppress the grin that was threatening to show. Fortunately, we were all saved. “Daddy, what’s a stripper?” Carly asked, frowning. She shoved a carrot into her mouth and chewed. But she decided she didn’t like it and used her tongue to push it from her mouth back onto her plate.

“Carly! Use your napkin,” Megan said. Then she turned to her husband, “Ezra! That wasn’t polite.”

Ezra shrugged and put a big forkful of salad into his mouth. “Well, you see, sir,” I began. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it in true McKinley fashion. “My father was a pimp when he met my mother. He wanted something to remind him of the good ol’ days!” Ezra bust up laughing, spraying the table with chewed up chicken chunks. Megan frowned at the mess. Travis stared at me like I’d grown three heads. But Ezra liked me. Megan liked me. Carly loved me. Mission accomplished.