The Past Is Behind Us

Twenty minuets I was grinning ear to ear as I shot the big guns Syn got out for me. I went crazy on the targets, shells clattering to the floor all over.

Syn cheered me on ans I giggled with excitement. I was happy again and after like an hour with big guns, I asked for something that only shot one. I had my fun, now it was time for work.

He gave me a stainless steel 45 caliber handgun.

I tried and tried but I couldn't hit the target. “You've lost your touch Cass.”

I sighed and tried a couple more times, missing every time.

“Let's try again another time, I'm not really feeling this anymore.”

“That's what SHE said!” he laughed.

“To Johnny.” I added, smirking. He stopped laughing and looked at me with a straight face as he pieced together. Suddenly he erupted with fresh laughter, clutching his stomach. I laughed too, for the first time since...IT arrived.

I spent the rest of the day with Syn and The Rev in the game room, both keeping my mind off the happenings of upstairs.

---two day's later--

Everyday I spent with Syn, every night I cuddled with Johnny who I'm proud to say never made a move. Over the past two day's the few times I see Gena she's planted seeds of doubt in my head. Telling me that the guys don't trust me as much as I think, that they plan to take turns with me when Zack's done.

If she does that again, I'm gonna make sure she knows I don't believe her.

Oh look, right on cue.

I was in the music room sitting on a piano bench. I just finished covering Bring Me To Live by Evanescence.

“So, I just herd the guys talking about how they don't really like you. They've been playing you to get you on their side this whole time, they know they'll get more allies with a girl with them.”

I turned around.

“Stop lying to me. I know they like me, and value me as a friend. I don't believe you for a second, so get over yourself. If your so perfect, why do you feel the need to tear me down? Do YOU feel like they don't really like you? Are YOU insecure about yourself? If you love you so much, you shouldn't waste your time on me.”

She seemed shocked but composed herself quickly.

“You think they let you in? Ha! I bet you don't even know their real names!” she scoffed.

I opened my mouth to retort but the more I thought about it, she's right.

She grinned, seeing her victory. “If they really trusted you, you'd know.” she clicked out.

I frowned after her, my fingers clasped the 'V' necklace Zacky gave me a long time ago. The Rev, or whatever his real name is, brought all my things to Johnny's room so I could dress myself.

I don't know their names, and I've been here for almost a year. I almost gave my 'virginity' to a guy whoes last name I don't even know! But I'm also in love with a man whose last name I don't know. Yeah, I LOVE Zacky. But I'll never grow the balls to tell him. Being without him hurts so much, but now I can't help but feel kinda betrayed.

I joined their gang, got a fucking tattoo, played video games with them, ate with them, cooked for them, laughed with them, and became friends with people I don't actually know shit about! How could they? I thought they liked me, they trusted me. They should know they can tell me anything and I won't tell anyone. They (Except Zacky) are like my brothers! I love all of them, as brothers. After Syn or what ever his damn name is sang to me I gained a new respect for him. But now...I'm so hurt.