Forbidden Love

FRANKS POV!!!

I wake up to empty arms. I look behind me to see Gerard at the opposite end of the bed, he is turned away from me so I can't see his face. I sit up and rub my eyes. Now that I'm sitting up I can see that Gerard is asleep. He used to look so peaceful when he slept now though his face is filled with fear and anger.

I get up slowly so I don't wake him. I'd rather he was asleep because when he's awake it breaks my heart to see him hurting. Yet when he's sleeping I know he doesn't have to put up with the world around him. I head downstairs to the kitchen. Its been a month since Hayley passed. Gerard had to go in for an interview with the police and he told them everything that happened. When he came out...let's just say it wasn't good and he cried for a long time. I fill up the kettle. He won't let me comfort him anymore. He just wants to cry on his own. He's barely spoke and only ever gets out of bed when he needs to pee. I've only just managed to get him to eat but he's getting noticeably thin. The kettle boils and I get a mug from the cupboard. I put the coffee and water in it. Another thing Gerard has also stopped drinking coffee. I always make some for him though but he never drinks it. I go over to the dining table.

Why do I even have a dining table? Before Gerard came it was only ever me in the house and I for some reason decided to get a dining table. I take a sip of the coffee. I look at the cast on my arm. I'm getting it off today. I look at the little drawings on it. Gerard drew them. He drew both of us. We are kissing. Oh god I miss his kisses...
Fuck! I have an idea. I finish my coffee and run upstairs to the bedroom. I pull on a pair of black skinny jeans. I desperately look for a jumper. I see Gerard looking at me. His expression blank. Just then I see what I'm looking for. Its a black and red striped jumper. The one I wore when I first met Gerard. I quickly pull it over my head. With super speed I line my eyes with eyeliner.
"Y-you need to go get your cast off today." Gerard says sitting up. Fuck I forgot all about that. I look at the clock. I have 20minutes till my appointment. I smile at Gerard.
"Thanks. I'll be back soon." I say looking for my car keys. I'm sure I saw them earlier. I look inside my drawers for them. Gerard gets up and sifts through my clothes. He finds my keys and hands me them. I blush and smile slightly embarrassed. That's the first time he's done anything in ages. He gets back on the bed and faces the wall. I quickly run downstairs and out of the house. I get in the car and drive to the hospital.

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It feels weird not having a cast on after having it for months. I am back in my car and driving to the shopping centre. I park the car and half sprint into the building. I go into a music and dvd shop. I look at all the different dvds. I pick up a dvd I've already watched. I hate the ending myself but it started with an alright scene. I go to the cds and pick out a Panic at the Disco cd. I think Brendons voice is amazing. I pay for the cd and walk out of the shop. Next I go to an arts and crafts shop. I buy a sketch book, pens, paint and pencils. Before I leave the shopping centre I buy red hair-dye. I just hope this works.
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I quietly close the front door and hope Gerard is still in bed. I go into the living room and take the things from their bag. I place everything neatly on top of the sketch book. I get ribbon and tie it around it all to keep everything in place. I keep the cd and put it in the cd player. I put the volume low. I slowly creep upstairs and peek into the bedroom. Gerard is sleeping. I quietly walk in and place the items on the floor. Then I slowly creep back out. Once I am downstairs I go into the living room again and listen to Brendon.
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I'm in the kitchen now. I'm making dinner. I decided on cheesy pasta because that's about the only thing I can cook. I hear shuffling and turn to see Gerard at the door. His hair is wet and all he is wearing is jeans. He must have used the dye.
"You want something to eat?" I ask. Gerard nods and sits at the dining table. He is looking at his hands. They are slightly red from the dye. He looks up.
"Can I have some coffee?" He asks. I smile and fill up the kettle. The pasta is ready so I get plates and take them over to the dining table. I get 2 mugs and make the coffee. I take it over to Gerard.
"Thanks." He says taking a sip. "God I forgot how good this stuff tastes." He sighs. I laugh and eat my pasta. Surprisingly Gerard scoffs the pasta and drinks all his coffee in a matter on five minutes. He gets up and puts the plate and mug in the dish washer then leans against the counter.
I finish my pasta and coffee. I turn on the dish washer and look at Gerard. He is looking at his feet and the sun is streaming through the window and onto his face. He lifts his head and looks at me. His eyes sparkle in the sunlight.
"What Panic cd is that?" He asks lifting and eyebrow. Fuck he looks so sexy right now. He looks so sexy it makes it hard to form a sentence.
"I-I bought it today." I say rubbing my now plaster free arm.
"Um...thanks for the stuff." He says rubbing the back of his neck."I appreciate it."
"I thought it might make you feel better if you expressed your feelings by drawing." I say. "You look better. " I say truthfully. He looks less empty.
"I feel it." He replies a hint of a smile in his lips. He comes and stands in front of me. He brings his hand to my face. I look into his greeny-brown eyes. "You know I don't love you like I loved you yesterday. I love you so much more." He says kissing me.