I Have a Daughter?

After having my second cigarette, I walked back into the house where all the guys were getting ready to leave for another day at the studio. Val was leaving with the girl's for a day out and I just didn't feel like going. I needed my space for a while and figure out how I was going to be able to see my mother's grave and say my final goodbye to her. I sat up in my room next to the window and picked up my guitar and notepad and began writing down another song. For some reason these songs were just flowing out of my head. I finally got the song written down so I started playing.

Can you feel it crush you? Does it seem to bring the worst in you out?
There's no running away from these things that hold you down
Do they complicate you because they make you feel like this?
Of all the colors that you've shined this is surely not your best

But you should know these colors that you're shining are...

Surely not the best colors that you shine
Surely not the best colors that you shine

I know you feel alone, yeah, and no one else can figure you out
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down?
Well they'd love to save you. Don't you know they love to see you smile?
But these colors that you've shined are surely not your style

Surely not the best colors that you shine
Surely not the best colors that you shine

I know you're feeling like you're lost
But you should know these colors that you're shinin are
I know you're feeling like you're lost,
You feel you've drifted way too far
Did you know these colors that you're shinin' are

Surely not the best colors that you shine
Surely not the best colors that you shine

Surely not the best..
(I know you're feeling like you're lost)
Colors that you shine..
(but you should know these colors that you're shining are)
Surely not the best..
(I know you're feeling like you're lost you feel you`ve drifted way too far)
Did you know these colors that you're shinin' are..

I ended the song and began to write more that was inspired from that song. When I finished writing and playing a few more songs, Val had come back home and I heard her coming up the stairs. I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said writing the title of my last song on the top of the page as Val entered my room. She hut the door behind her and sat down in front of me.

"Writing songs?" I nodded and closed my notebook.

"How many did you get written today?"

"6 songs. I'm thinking about drawing." I said and she smiled.

"Do you have any individual pictures of the guys and their girls?" I asked and she nodded.

"You don't have to give them to me right this second. You can give them to me later so I can draw something for each of them." I said smiling.

"Alright. You want to help me cook dinner?" I nodded and we walked down to the kitchen and started preparing for something Val said but I just couldn't pronounce it or spell it for that matter. The only thing I knew it was Italian. I set the table just as she finished up the food and I looked to see the guys pulling into the driveway. Jimmy looked happy and so did Matt. I wonder what was going on? I put beers on the table for the guys and put a soda out for me. The door busted open and Jimmy grabbed me up in bear hug.

"Nice to see you too Jimmy." I said laughing. He set me down and looked at the food Val prepared. He sat down and was going to grab some food when Val smacked his hand away.

"Jimmy wait for the others." she scolded. He pouted and she rolled her eyes. The rest of the guys piled into the kitchen and sat down so we could eat. The food was really, really good and when I finished I put my plate into the sink like I always do. The guys were finished and they went into the living room. I guess to watch a movie or some shit. I helped Val with the dishes and put them away for her. We walked into the living room and they all had shit eating grins on their faces.

"Why are you guys looking like that at us for?" Val said sitting down beside Matt while I sat don beside Brian.

"Well we just got informed that in 2 weeks we will be going on tour and you girls get to go." Matt said. Val's face lit up and mine didn't so much.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Well our first week of shows are here in California then we go off to Las Vegas, Houston, Nashville, Atlanta, and then back here." Matt said. I smiled when I heard Nashville. My hometown where my mom was buried. The guys proceeded to tell us stories about the crazy things they all do while on tour and it sounded exciting but the only thing I was excited about was going back to Nashville to visit my mom's grave for the first time. I leaned up against Brian and fell off to sleep while listening to the sound of his steady breathing.