Pull Out My Insides

“Asher?” I ask, looking confusedly at the boy before me. “What are you doing here?”

He smirks. “Well, I thought that since you haven’t seen your old pal Asher in such a long time—4 days, that is—I thought that we should change that. So I did.”

I just breathe deeply and look at him through my narrowed eyes.

“Look, Asher, I don’t know why you keep acting like this, acting like you want to get to know me, but you need to fucking stop. I’m not gullible or stupid, I know you have an ulterior motive for this. And I don’t believe that you put up as an act, okay? Just stop. I’m tired of this, I just want to rest and not have to worry about this kind of shit. So, just do us both a favor and stop,” I say, and finish by closing the door on him.

But of course, he’s too quick and puts his foot in between the door and the doorframe, not letting it close on him.

“God, Asher! Just leave me the fuck alone!” I scream, trying to shut him out, but he doesn’t let up and keeps blocking it.

“Zara,” he says in a soft, pleading voice I’ve never heard before. “Please.”

I just breathe harshly in and look away. “Asher…”

“Zara, please,” he says, gazing up at me with his big puppy dog eyes.

“Fine,” is all I say as I hold the door open in the slightest and then walk away, leaving him to follow me.

As I sit down slowly on the couch, I make sure to keep my line of sight on Asher, scrutinizing him, as he watches me as well.

“So?” I ask rudely and he chuckles.

“Such a gracious host, I see.”

I just cross my arms and glare at him, making him put his hands up in a surrender-like motion.

“Fine, fine. I just… I’m sorry for, ya know, being such an asshole and stuff… you’re nice and you don’t deserve that. Such a pretty girl doesn’t deserve such petty arguments,” he says, making my cheeks lightly tint with red.

“Stop that charming, boy, you can’t just waltz in here and expect me to forgive you with the snap of your fingers,” I counter.

“Well, what can I say, my fingers are magic,” he voices with a wink, making me again blush, but he makes it more prominent on my cheeks and more noticeable, to my chagrin.

“I was just wondering if maybe we could… I don’t know, start over or something?” he asks after a moment of silence.

I take a deep breath, thinking it over. Why the hell should I believe him? He’s been a major asshole to me the whole time that he’s known me, why does he want to suddenly start over?

“Maybe… Why do you want to start over so suddenly?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I don’t know, I’ve always thought you were nice and pretty and stuff, but ya know, Neva told me otherwise, and my best friend just died, and I thought that I should start to be nicer to people in her memory ‘cause she was the nicest person ever,” he says, and I can hint the sincerity in his voice, but I can’t see his eyes seeing as they’re cast down at the floor.

My mind starts a conflict inside of the protective shell of my skull and I stand up and start to pace, fighting out the battle in my mind. What if he’s telling the truth? What if he’s lying? What will happen if he is or isn’t?

“I don’t know, Asher… I mean, I’m already tired and stressed out and now here you are, wanting to start over new and I don’t know whether to believe you or not… hell, this is difficult.”

“Please Zara. I promise that I just want to get to know you,” he pleads, letting me get lost in his deep brown eyes and forget all limits I put up for myself.

“Fine,” I start after a minute. “But, we’re taking this friendship slow, alright?”

He nods impatiently and jumps up, hugging me and spinning me around, making my head dizzy.

“Yay! We’re gonna be best friends forever!” He shouts, making my ears nearly start bleeding with the intensity of it in my ears.

“Asher, Asher, first thing… put me down. My head already feels like shit,” I command.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, he puts me down quickly and nods his head obediently, like a dog. I pat him on his head quickly.

“Good dog,” I say, surprisingly, with a straight face, although it doesn’t last long. When my nerdy little weird smile breaks through, the corners of his mouth tug up slightly in a smile.

“You should smile more.”

I shrug without a thought. “Maybe I should.”