You're My Favorite Song

My mom said when she was younger she felt like school was a waste of her time. She said that if she ever had kids she'd make sure they went but would also teach them its not everything. I made sense of this at a young age, but it wasn't until freshman year that someone challenged my idea. I remembering sitting in my counselor's office telling her that I didn't care what classes I took next year because it wouldn't matter. She wasn't happy, she tried for an entire period to persuade me, I wasn't giving in. She never gave up either, especially during the first semester of my senior year when everyone else was filling out applications. I thought she would stop trying once application deadlines came, no such luck.

It was eight fifteen monday morning, instead of being in my first period like the rest of the school I was in my wonderful counselor's office. It was the first day back to school as if that wasn't bad enough, I was sitting in this woman's office. I don't usually hate people but I dispise this woman. Here she was sitting in her office chair with her paisley dress on sipping a cup of some herbal tea that made her whole office smell like feet. Counselors aren't suppose to judge you, apparently she didn't get the memo.

"Ms. Baker it has come to my attention you didn't take my advice. Why did you not apply to any school?" She took another sip of her disgusting smelling tea. She sat with her hands together on her desk looking at me with these eyes. Her eyes spoke better than she did, I know she thought I was stupid but it didn't matter I didn't need to please her.

"Mrs. Wright I already told you, as did my parents, college isn't in my future." I said calmly. I may hate her but she was an adult. Even though my parents could be irresponsible and crazy they still raised me to have manners.

"I believe that is a big mistake. College is in everyone's future especially for those who's parents never went. So I understand taking a gap year but here are more brochures to look at for fall of 2013. I'm sure you can find a school that appeals to you."

I couldn't take it anymore. After spending four years of my life with the damn lady you'd think she would have got it by now. The real Hazel came out, the one no one in public had ever seen. "Look Mrs. Wright I hate school, I fucking hate it. I'm almost done and then I'm done, that's all I needed to do. I'm not going to college because I don't need a degree to make my dreams come true. Unlike these brainwashed kids I'm actually going for it even if I fail. Now I need to get to class so I can graduate. Goodbye." I left giving her no time to retaliate. I knew that my mother would be receiving a call but it didn't matter because my mom was on my side, she always was.

As the second period tardy bell rang I began walking to my english class. Stupid ass lady made me late. I walked into the class and explained to my teacher where I was and sat down in my usual seat. I was so mad with her for not listening to me but even worse for making me miss one of the only classes I cared about. My first period was music theory. The class was made up of about ten other kids all of which were in our schools award winning marching band. It was the only class I had an A in, well that an guitar.

As a senior we were aloud to have only a five period day either missing a first period or a sixth period. Most seniors chose to not have a first period so they could sleep in an extra hour, I chose to not have a sixth. My dad helped me make this choice, he told me if I wanted to be on the road I'd have to learn how to function on three hours of sleep. I naturally took his advice without a second thought.

As the school day dragged on my day got worse and worse. Turns out Stephanie was mad at me for making her leave my house. She was being typical Steph and only caring about herself. I know its a horrible thing to say but I can't wait to graduate to get away from her and this damn town, not that I don't love LA or anything. To top it all off, every senior teacher decided it would be a good thing to start preparing us for college, guess what that means, twice the fucking homework. I'm really getting tired of that college word.

By the time my mom picked me up at one I was so done. I climbed in the car and slammed the door behind me. My mom look at me with concern and understanding, Mrs. Wright called her.

"Before you get mad at me I know what I said was wrong," I said defending myself, it had become an instinct. I apologized for everything I said or did, thanks to Steph its the way I thought life worked.

"Hazel Lyric what you did is not wrong, she is. She is fucking idiot and has no right to say that to you. We all made it clear to her what your plans are and she refused to listen. I'm glad you finally stood up for yourself." Since we were at the stop light she leaned over and hugged me. "Never let anyone tell you what to do, I taught you that when you were two months old." I chuckled.

When ever I have a bad day I usually made my mom drop me off at my favorite record/music store Amoeba Records. It was some what out of the way but she never minded. She always left me while she went to pick up Ryan, giving me about an hour to look around. We pulled up to the curb and she dropped me off. I said a quick goodbye and then went in.

Amoeba Records was another home away from home for me. Something about all these pieces of music history in one place was amazing. While records were out of style many people still bought them, I had a small collection of my own. I usually came here just to look around and clear my head.

I headed over the underground artist section and just started looking around, I put my ipod on while doing so. I was looking though a section of a band I knew and started to tap my foot to the beat of the song filling my ears. God I love music, it was like I was in a trance and everything was perfect. As the song I was listing to built up someone tapped my shoulder I thought it was my mom so I took out my headphones and turned toward her, or who I thought was her. Turns out I was face to face with mysterious hot topic employee and guitarist, Jake.

"I knew it was you. You're the only girl I know with blue fucking hair, by the way its awesome. You are Hazel right?" I nodded my head and he laughed. "Good cause I would have felt like a fucking idiot if it wasn't you."

"Um yeah," I said. I just kept staring at him. I mean why the fuck was he here and why was he talking to me. Me of all people!

"I'm sorry I probably seem like a creeper or something, I promise I wasn't stalking you I just came here to get something from one of my guys who works here and I couldn't help notice the blue hair."

I smiled sincerely. "Thanks. Your friend works here?"

He nodded. "Since he was fourteen I'm sure you've seen him around. He also the lead singer of our band." I made an oh with my mouth and he continued. "I'm really not stalking you but it is weird that we keep running into each other."

"Yeah it is," I laughed.

"Hey Hazel if it isn't too weird of me to ask can I have your number. You seem like a really cool girl and I want to get to know you better."

I was shocked. This wasn't happening. He wasn't asking me for my number, he wasn't talking to me, or asking me to hang out. I was just some ordinary girl to him, he probably did this all the time. While I wanted so hard to believe my head, the thing that drove every decision I made, I couldn't help but give him my number. Something was different about him and I didn't know what it was. He made me feel different, good different.

He handed me his phone and I put my number into it then he took mine and put his into it. I told him I had to go because my mom was here and he told me he would talk to me later. I walked out of the store happier than I ever had before. I got in the car without another thought.

"Uh oh, I remember that look," My mom said with a giant smile on her face.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Nothing never mind," She said.

Weird, my mom always told me what was on her mind. I could always read her but I couldn't now. We drove home while listening to Ryan tell us about her day. I listened the whole time but my mind was somewhere else. When I got home and did my homework my mind was still distracted. As i finished the last of my econ homework my phone lit up beside me. I looked at it and it was a message from Jake.

Remember I wasn't stalking you :p

I smiled to myself while reading the text, I wrote back a reply and continued working.

***

I tossed and turned in my bed, finally rolling over to see the time. The blue clock on my night stand blinked two. I sighed and grabbed the guitar that was placed conveniently next to my bed. Once I was settled I reached over to grab the song book off the night stand. I've known how to play guitar since I was seven and I've been writing 'songs' since I was eight. Whenever I couldn't sleep I often turned to this to calm me down. I wasn't freaking out or anything I just couldn't sleep even though I was exhausted. This happened every once in awhile and my mom told me its because I missed my dad. I began to believe her and one night when I was ten I decided to write about it. I strummed the chords gently and quietly and began to murmur the lyrics.

It's 2 o'clock on a Tuesday morning
And I'm wide awake in bed waiting for you call.
Daddy don't you see, I need to hear your voice
telling me goodnight from across the world.

My singing was interrupted by my phone vibrating from beside me, it was my dad. I moved the guitar so it sat next to me and then answered the phone, quietly of coarse.

"Hey daddy," I said.

"Hello my Hazel. What are you doing up missy?" He chuckled even though he knew the answer.

"Waiting for your call duh. Where are you tonight?" I was always intrigued by his where abbots.

"We are loading up from Michigan right now. It was lovely, not as lovely as being home to see you. I spoke to your mom today, she told me your dumb counselor was bothering you again. Don't let her get to you remember that."

"I know that now. I can't wait until I'm done with school. Are you going to let me travel with you?" I asked

"Maybe, until then keep singing so I can get you on that big stage."

"I'll never stop singing. The stage thing not happening." My dad always wanted me to be in front of the stage, my mom too. I had the voice of both of them, I was their own flesh and blood and they wanted to be shine in a way they never did. As much as I thought it would be cool I could never do it. I've tried and failed and learned and behind the scenes is where I belong.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Don't tell your mom that you were up late waiting for me to call you. Goodnight Hazel."

"Night daddy," I clicked off the phone. After putting everything back to its rightful spot I snuggled into my bed and drifted into a dreamless sleep.