Status: School essay
Sucide Letters
Brylee
I opened my eyes and realized I was crying, desperately I tried to fight for the memory back, but it had faded too quickly. Leaving me tattered on the dark roof of a broken home, no love resides
here and I no longer call this place home. My home had a name, Evian Erin Rose Smith. That's another thing I never understood, Erin hated her first name and she hated being called Eve even more. So she went by her middle name, damn. I need to stop thinking of her, right now. I climbed back through the window and laid on the cold hard floor. Hard wood floors were my favorite because when you wanted to cry, the coldness of the floor felt good on your face. The coldness matched how my heart felt, hard and completely frozen over. I rolled onto my back to stare at my ceiling, covered in letters, pictures and drawings. I could recite every word to every letter that was tacked up there, I could tell you what each drawing meant and why it was drawn, and last but not least I could tell you where, and when each picture was taken. That was an all together different life time, when I believed in forever and eternity, when love conquered anything. Drugs, alcohol when it came to our feelings for each other nothing mattered. I climbed onto my bed, not even bothering to slip between the sheets, window wide open to let the cold air fight off the burning feeling that was throughout my body, my eyes stung with tragic tears but they wouldn't fall. Crying would help, I so desperately wanted to cry. I had only cried three of four times the entire eight weeks I was away. I hadn't taken time to just sit there and think of everything and how it all changed and fell apart. My phone vibrated, ignoring it was what I wanted to do but I forced myself to open it. Fresh pang of desperation and guilt flooded me as the picture of my wallpaper sunk in. Erin and I at the beach last summer, her smiling that million dollar perfectly white smile, her eyes shinning bluer than anything I have ever seen, happiness was deep in both our eyes. In the picture I was smiling while watching her, I didn't even know she was taking a picture that's how oblivious I was. That picture was my favorite picture, I could stare at it for hours but now I couldn't even glance at it without wishing for everything back the way it was.
From:Brylee.
Hey girl!:) I miss you! How are you?!
My stomach knotted, and I knew she was only trying to be polite but I wasn't ready to play "happy" for the world yet.
To:Brylee.
Darling, stop faking it. Okay, nothing is how it should be. I'm still crazy, I have accepted that and I am learning to deal with it. I still don't have my girlfriend back.
And you are still a lying bitch.
I shut my phone and set it down on the night stand, trying to sleep would prove to be useless. I climbed into bed at this time shuffling through the music on my iPod until I stumbled across
the song "Safe and Sound" by Tonight Alive, I couldn't breath as sleep surprisingly took hold of my thoughts.
here and I no longer call this place home. My home had a name, Evian Erin Rose Smith. That's another thing I never understood, Erin hated her first name and she hated being called Eve even more. So she went by her middle name, damn. I need to stop thinking of her, right now. I climbed back through the window and laid on the cold hard floor. Hard wood floors were my favorite because when you wanted to cry, the coldness of the floor felt good on your face. The coldness matched how my heart felt, hard and completely frozen over. I rolled onto my back to stare at my ceiling, covered in letters, pictures and drawings. I could recite every word to every letter that was tacked up there, I could tell you what each drawing meant and why it was drawn, and last but not least I could tell you where, and when each picture was taken. That was an all together different life time, when I believed in forever and eternity, when love conquered anything. Drugs, alcohol when it came to our feelings for each other nothing mattered. I climbed onto my bed, not even bothering to slip between the sheets, window wide open to let the cold air fight off the burning feeling that was throughout my body, my eyes stung with tragic tears but they wouldn't fall. Crying would help, I so desperately wanted to cry. I had only cried three of four times the entire eight weeks I was away. I hadn't taken time to just sit there and think of everything and how it all changed and fell apart. My phone vibrated, ignoring it was what I wanted to do but I forced myself to open it. Fresh pang of desperation and guilt flooded me as the picture of my wallpaper sunk in. Erin and I at the beach last summer, her smiling that million dollar perfectly white smile, her eyes shinning bluer than anything I have ever seen, happiness was deep in both our eyes. In the picture I was smiling while watching her, I didn't even know she was taking a picture that's how oblivious I was. That picture was my favorite picture, I could stare at it for hours but now I couldn't even glance at it without wishing for everything back the way it was.
From:Brylee.
Hey girl!:) I miss you! How are you?!
My stomach knotted, and I knew she was only trying to be polite but I wasn't ready to play "happy" for the world yet.
To:Brylee.
Darling, stop faking it. Okay, nothing is how it should be. I'm still crazy, I have accepted that and I am learning to deal with it. I still don't have my girlfriend back.
And you are still a lying bitch.
I shut my phone and set it down on the night stand, trying to sleep would prove to be useless. I climbed into bed at this time shuffling through the music on my iPod until I stumbled across
the song "Safe and Sound" by Tonight Alive, I couldn't breath as sleep surprisingly took hold of my thoughts.