Caught Up In You

April 6th, 2012
Friday Night
Location: Drake’s Dorm
7:47 PM

It had been a couple of days since I had last conversed with Pacey. We weren’t really on the ‘talking’ part yet. I guess that the breakup had really hit home. Before I slept over at Drake’s, Pacey didn’t talk to me. But now, it was worse. He completely ignored me. It was as if I wasn’t even there.

I had this strange feeling that he knew somehow. Maybe Logan told him. Or maybe he could just tell from looking at me. I mean, I had been guiltily walking around the dorm, eating ice cream and aimlessly watching bad soap operas.

And Pacey did know me pretty well.

But was I really that predictable?

~~*~~

I was in Drake’s room one Friday night, bonding with him. The reason I was so fascinated with Drake was because we already knew the little details about each other, but we never ran out of anything to say.

I could talk to him for hours.

Actually, that’s what I was doing.

We were both lying in his bed under the covers. My head was on his chest, and his arms were rested right above my stomach. We were close together, huddling for warmth. Even though it was April, the weather was unpredictable as always, and it was anything but warm and sunny.

Drake’s head was propped up against a couple of pillows. He had offered me one, but I declined. I’d rather have him to lie with than inanimate plush objects.

We quieted down after fifteen more minutes of senseless discourse. I knew that we needed to talk about the situation. We had been avoiding everything for so long that the tension was just building. I was going to explode if the topic wasn’t brought up sooner or later.

I shifted uncomfortably, moving my hand to touch Drake’s. He fidgeted for a few seconds before grasping my hand and squeezing it back reassuringly.

“Has Pacey talked to you at all?” Drake mumbled. He didn’t really enjoy bringing Pacey’s name up. But honestly, I didn’t blame him. He understood I still had feelings for Pacey, and he couldn’t change that. And no matter how terrible I felt about that, I couldn’t change my emotions.

“No,” I said quickly. I wasn’t necessarily in the mood for talking. I just wanted to be with Drake. I wanted to lie with him, to kiss him, to touch him.

“Do you think he found out?” Drake asked. I could feel the beating of his heart speed up sporadically. He began to breathe fitfully.

I realized Pacey would know about us soon enough. However, telling him now was not right. It was much too early.

“No, but he definitely notices that something is up,” I said positively. There was no doubt that Pacey was second guessing my excuse. He understood that Drake and I had a connection. He wasn’t an idiot.

“Drew,” Drake began, sounding unconfident, “do you think we should just tell him?”

“No!” I shrieked loudly. Drake shook a bit, but then gripped me tighter. “I mean, yes. But not so soon. It’s only been a little over a month. We should give it some more time.”

“A couple of weeks, maybe?” Drake suggested. I shrugged and turned to face him.

“Yeah. But let’s focus on us for now, okay?” I said, positioning my body on top of his. Drake sighed, and I realized it was an immature move. But I couldn’t stand to talk about Pacey with Drake. I knew it hurt him too much.

I positioned my hands on Drake’s neck, my elbows propped partially up on the bed. I chuckled as he shivered, shaking his body and slightly moving me in the process. He looked at me then, his beautiful brown eyes pouring into my body.

Instantaneously, my face brightened, and I couldn’t hold back the smile erupting from inside. And for the first time ever, Drake pulled me down and kissed me hungrily. It was almost a new experience, really. His lips were so smooth, so velvety. The way sparks burst through my body when he gingerly swept his hands over my back was remarkable.

I repositioned my hands in his hair, softly tugging on the untamed, chestnut locks. Drake grinned, compelling me to sloppily kiss his cheek. He laughed then, his entire form vibrating under me.

“Shut up,” I whined, frowning as he glanced at me again.

Drake smirked and pushed the back of my head down. He reconnected his lips with mine, and this time, the sensation deepened. The way his fingers maneuvered from my lower back to my hips so delicately was tantalizing in every single aspect.

I couldn’t help myself from succumbing to him. Every part of him was enticing, beautiful, and so off bounds that I wanted him when I shouldn’t have. The closer I got to Drake, the more I needed him.

He smelled like cinnamon and apples, almost an exact replica of how his home was. I didn’t know why, but his mom was obsessed with the spice candles. Now I understood. Everything about Drake was stimulating. It wasn’t possible for me to get enough of him.

It was so alluring when he pulled my shirt up slightly and barely grazed his fingers to the tip of my bra. Drake chuckled when I trembled from the sensation, his gravelly voice echoing throughout the room.

Despite how confident Drake may have thought I was, I shook on the inside. All the excitement of my childhood fantasies had come true and I was beginning to feel like a little girl again, obsessing over the boy who’s off limits.

I kept thinking that this wasn’t real, even though I had already slept with him. But every touch, every glance, every breath, brought me back to reality. The boy I was in love with when I was ten was sharing those same affections.

And honestly, it was absolutely priceless.

With all of the problems going on my life, I couldn’t have felt more relaxed in that moment. There was just something so calming about how he held me in his arms. I lost my breath, being so close to him in proximity.

His silky skin was so tangible. Every part of him was so inviting, so warm. Skimming my cold fingers down the side of his face made him squirm under me. I grinned, feeling as if I was the one in control. But before I could claim victory, Drake flipped me over.

In spite of Drake’s normally sweet demeanor, he was becoming raucous. I wasn’t scared though. I knew Drake. He was passionate. And he wanted me to understand that too.

He lowered himself down a couple moments after flipping us over. Drake’s lips were scarcely skimming over my collar bone. He grazed his fingers over my stomach and up past my chest to my neck. Goosebumps began to form in every direction. When Drake noticed, he laughed, repositioning his lips to mine. He stole one last loving kiss before pulling off of me.

I couldn’t see my eyes, but I quickly realized that the entirety of my gaze held desire. Truthfully, I didn’t want him to stop. I sought for him, his acceptance, his love. And the instant he got up off of me, I missed him.

I understood why though. Drake was smart. He didn’t want to sleep with me again. He knew that I was in an intricate situation, and he had to beat around the bush for my sake.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, not quite holding my gaze.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said, getting off the bed and entwining my fingers with his.

“Drew,” he said vulnerably. I looked up, noticing how his brown eyes flickered under the lamplight. He jerked his hand away from mine, resting it by his side. My smile faltered.

“What?” I asked, sounding harsher than I had originally planned.

“I don’t think I can be with you like this,” he muttered.

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

“I can’t keep having sex with you. We’re not even together. It just…. It hurts,” he said. And that was when my heart broke for him. I had finally realized how much pain I had put him through.

It wasn’t fair, and I needed to fix it.

“I know, Drake. And I’m sorry. But what if there was a way that we could be together?” I suggested. His eyes lit up, but he still attempted to stay hesitant.

“What do you mean?” He asked, his voice sounding shaky.

“What if we were to secretly date? Only a couple of people would find out, and Pacey would be in the dark,” I smiled. I never imagined that Drake and I could possibly be together.

Drake grinned, and I instantly knew what he was going to say.

We were together.