You're Just a Daydream Away

"Go before I make you stay." I whispered to him. Alex kissed me once more then left. 

I carried Tom to the living room and bounced him on my lap. I smiled when he smiled and sent a picture to Alex saying we already missed him.

It was true. Being alone in his huge house scared me a little. I didn't even have Cassadee to keep me company since she was touring with the guys. I had no one to help me with Tom, no one to talk to, no one to protect me. Even with my son laughing in my lap, I suddenly felt alone. I went through my phone to see who I could call. I found no one reliable. 

---------two months later-----
First off, I survived that tour. I visited Alex every now and then with Tom. He wouldn't drink at all when we came to visit which I greatly appreciated. 

He was on another tour now but Cassadee was staying with me to help out. We were out to lunch right now with Thomas. He was getting so big so fast and looking more and more like Alex every day.

"Has Alex called you guys today?" Cass asked.
"No he hasn't. He's probably hungover or something."
"Liz, he hasn't called you in a few days. Why not try calling him?"
"I have. A few times actually. His phones off." I sighed. It didn't completely worry me until now. He has completely gone M.I.A. this past week and it somewhat scared me. Cass changed the subject until we walked out to the car. I put Thomas in his car seat then got in the drivers side.

"Want me to call Rian? Maybe he knows what's up." Cassadee offered.
"Yeah sure." I nodded and heard her dial his number then out it on speaker phone so we heard it ring.

"Hello m'lady." he answered. 
"Hi Ri. Is Alex with you?"
"Uh..." he hesitated. "Uh yeah. He.. He is why?"
"Did he break his phone or something? Liz has been trying to call him for a couple days and he hasn't answered."
"No he's on his phone right now... I don't know why he hasn't answered. Hey Alex?! Come here!" Rian yelled. I but my tongue when he said Alex was on his phone right now. I heard Alex in the background as Alex talked to him.
"Rian, he's not doing what I think he's doing is he?"
"I think he is Cass." they both sighed. She looked over at me and mouthed I'm sorry. I was beyond confused.
"Put him on the phone." I whispered. She told Rian to give the phone to Alex and I heard him say hello.

"Why haven't you answered my calls, Alex? It's been six days."
"Liz? I thought I was talking to Cass..." he sounded nervous.
"Why did Cassadee ask if you were doing something again? What is she talking about?"
"Liz. Calm down. Just let me explain." he waited to see if I'd cut him off, but when I didn't, he continued. "Liz I haven't talked to you because I fucked up big time. We went out to the bar the other night and I lost count of how many drinks that I had... And..."
"And what, Alex?" I said barely holding back tears. I was praying he wouldn't say what I thought he would say.
"And I woke up with a girl in a hotel room the next morning."

I hung up and handed the phone to Cassadee. I pulled out of the parking lot then drive home in silence. Cass tried to talk to me but I was terrified that if I spoke, I'd cry. And if I cried, I wouldn't stop. I parked in the driveway, unbuckled Tom from his car seat then walked inside. Cassadee took him from me.

"Go inside. I'll watch him. I know you need a minute." she said hugging me. I nodded and walked to my room. 

It smelled like Alex. As soon as I closed the door, I lost all the composure I had been maintaining. How could he do this to me? We had a son and were engaged to be married next month. How could sleep with someone else when I had given up my entire life to be with him? None of this made sense to me. I cried for about a half hour straight and when I felt lightheaded I made myself calm down. When I was calm enough, I walked out to where Cassadee was with Thomas.

"So I was wondering. Can I move in with you? I clearly can't stay here with him. And we're obviously aren't getting married any time soon. I know it's a lot to ask with Thomas and everything but it's just for a little bit." I asked her as calmly as I could.
"Of course you can Liz. You know you're always welcome at my place. Plus, I think little Tommy here has a crush on his aunt Cassadee so it's perfect." she smiled and I nodded and sat down with her and my son. I kissed his head.
"He looks too much like Alex." I said stroking his hair. 
"I know. He's a cutie though." she smiled and tickled him and his laugh made everything better.

------A Week Later--------
My phone was ringing. I lifted my head off the side of Cassadee's couch and looked at it. I guess the guys were home.

"What do you want Alex." I said sleepily but angrily. 
"Where are you? Where's Tom? Where's all your stuff?"
"I moved out. I can't be near you right now."
"You can't take my son away from me. I understand you're pissed at me, but do not take Thomas away from me. He's just as much mine as he is yours."
"I'm not taking him away. You'll still see him but he's staying with me."
"Liz, just come over and talk to me about this."
"What part of I don't want to be near you right now don't you understand? You're a coward Alex! You couldn't admit to me that you slept with someone else?! I had to drag it out of you and that's what pisses me off! If you loved me, you wouldn't have slept with some random girl! You're a father now and you need to learn the responsibility that comes with that." I yelled at him.
"I'm sorry Liz. I really am. Just please let me see him. I've missed him. And you." he said quietly.
"Fine. I'm at Cassadee's." I sighed.
"Okay. I'll be there soon." We hung up and as soon as I put my phone down, it rang again. I was shocked to see the name on my phone.

"Andy? Why are you calling me?"
"Did Alex...I mean...have you talked to Alex?" she sounded nervous.
"A little. I'm kind of pissed off at him right now. Why?"
"Did he tell you?"
"That he cheated on me? Yeah he did. I had to force it out of him but yeah he told me."
"Did he say who he slept with?"
"Just some random girl. Why? And why are you being so weird Andy?"
"He said it was a random girl? That bastard."
"Andy I am so confused. Tell me what's going on." Just then, there was a knock at the door and I got up. It was Alex. I let him in but told him to wait a minute while I was on the phone.
"Lizzie, it wasn't a random girl that he hooked up with. It uhm. It was me." Andy said. My eyes went wide and glared at Alex.
"Andy I swear to god if you are lying to me right now, I will kill you."
"Liz I'm not lying. I went to one of his shows to see Jack and I ended up going out with them after, then Alex and I went to the hotel room and one thing led to another..."
"Andy I need to call you back." I hung up and threw my phone on the couch then just stated at Alex.

"Why did Andy call you..." he sounded paranoid.
"You tell me Alexander." I crossed my arms over my chest. "And if you lie to me right now, you will never see me or Thomas ever again."
"Liz. First just let me say I'm so unbelievably sorry. Second, I didn't sleep with a random girl. It was Andy.  But it didn't mean anything to me. I swear." he had tears in his eyes.
"Get out." I said quietly.
"Please just let me see him." he begged. I walked to Cassadee's room and told her to let Alex see Tom for five minutes. I sat on her bed when she walked out and cried again. 

I didn't know who to be mad at. I didn't know if I should take him back. I didn't know anything except my head and heart hurt. They were just as confused as I was.