Alpha...Female?

I bit my nails, this would start a pack war, "Oh, God Jay, I'm so stupid. You should've tackled me, bit me, killed me. Wait, no this is my fault." My fault, my fault, my fault. Jay pats my shoulder, "I told you he was a friend, you should've listened." I shake my head and look at his black shaggy hair that could make girls go wild, not me though, 'cause I've seen dogs with better. Sorry Shaggy. "What's his name?" Jay covers him with an article of clothing, "His name is Taylor, part of Crystal Rivers pack. We should hope he doesn't say anything." I felt a tremor go through my body, damn. "Please pick him up, first aid for these kinds of scratches is a must." I feel my body go through the change and I run to Jays house, first-aid kit where are you? Then I see it, big and bulky and full of medicine. I get out the needed supplies and think how deep I cut him. The neck will need gauze, the chest will need some stitches. I fight the chill that was coming over me to use the old tongue, the voices were yelling at me 'dangerous, dangerous' but they were arguing too, 'it's beautiful, what you can do, so, so beautiful.' I felt the voices tug me in both direction. Jay would need to leave so I could, it would affect him too.
Jay snapped me out of my trance, and there was Taylor, bloody, cut, and moaning. I shut out the noise and went on to cleaning him off, the blood clotted around the wounds, it would started bleeding again but they needed to be cleaned. He winced even in his catatonic state, "Jay, can you run to the house and get some poppy?" I calculated in my head, 20 miles would be plenty of time. He started to speak but stopped, "sure be back in 15." With that he was off, bounding into the brush with his brown tail flopping behind him. I counted to 60 then started what would almost kill me.
When Jay came back I could barely keep my eyes open, there were dots swarming in my vision, the lawn was spinning, my body felt like 20 tons of lead. Then there was a darkness on the edge of my conscience knowing what I did, what I did to someone for my selfish needs. "Kat, are you okay?" I nod, "Yeah, poppy right? You... Have, the poppy? Yeah, just, then put, so he can. Night." I close my eyes and for a second I saw his face, disapproving and full of malice, I almost cried. I'm sorry daddy, I'm so, so sorry.