It Feels Like I'm Falling In Love Alone

“Andy, just calm down. Nothing bad is gonna happen.” I tried calming myself down. I looked in the mirror for a second. How much make up is too much? I guess stage makeup is too much, so eye shadow, eye liner, and lipstick? Do I even have anymore left?

I started laughing as I shifted through my makeup bag. I was thinking like a girl. I mean, all I have to do is be myself and Ash won't be able to keep his hands off me. However, I think maybe the makeup will help out a bit. Damn. I'm out. Maybe when we're out I can go pick up some more.

Putting on makeup didn't take too long. My hair was looking just right, my cloths were OK, just a button down black shirt with skinny jeans. I think I should be good. I slid my wallet into my pocket and walked out of my room door. Ash was waiting for me in the living room.

“Ready?” He smiled at me, pulling me into him by my waist.

“Yeah. Lets go.” I smiled.

“Don't be back too late you two.” Jake smiled from the kitchen.

“We won't Papa Jake.” Ash and I laughed walking out the door.

“So! Where are we going?” I asked climbing into the passengers side of Ash's truck.

“You'll see, but first, come here.” He smiled leaning into me, kissing me softly. “You're like a drug Andy. Once I get one little taste of you, I can't get enough.” He smiled.

“Treat me right and you might get more than just a little taste.” I winked. That came off a little more sexual than I wanted, but Ash's reaction was priceless. His eyes widened, his smile crept to each corner of his face and his cheeks blared a shade of crimson red. I should keep this up, the whole teasing thing. It's fun.

“Well then.” Ash said clearing his throat. “We should get going.” He started up the truck and pulled out of the parking spot.

“Wow. It's beautiful in here.” I smiled walking inside this fancy french restaurant called 'La Petite Chapeau'. (AUTHORS NOTE: It's french for the little hat)

“Yeah. I came here once with my Mom. The food is great.” Ash laughed. “C'mon. I got us reservations.” He pulled me over to the host; a stuffy man with an interesting handle bar mustache.

“Good evening gentlemen.” The host said eying us both a bit to be sure of our genders. “May I help you?”

“Yes. I have reservations for two under the name 'Outlaw.'” He smiled. I tried to hold back a snicker, but I was failing.

“Yes. Right this way sir.” He rolled his eyes and walked us over to our booth. It was in a nice little corner, almost secluded from everyone else, quiet. I could have him all to myself. We sat down on opposite ends as the host handed us our menus. “Your waiter will be right with you.” When I was sure he was gone Ash and I exchanged a look and just laughed.

“'Outlaw' huh?” I smiled.

“Oh like you're any better 'Dennis Westower'.” He smiled. Ash and I had fun together before he whole five year depression thing hit. I opened my menu and looked at all the different food, then my eyes landed on the prices.

“Ash, this place is expensive!” I put the menu down.

“It's OK Andy. I wouldn't have brought you here if I didn't have the money. Plus, I owe you a lot, so order whatever you want.” He smiled placing his hand on top of mine reassuringly. “It's OK. Tonight I'm gonna take care of you. Whatever you want you can have.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm sure.” He smiled. I scooted closer to him in the booth and kissed his cheek.

“Thanks Ashes.” His face turned bright red when I placed my hand on his lap and rubbed it slightly.

“N-no problem.” He squeaked. I let out a little giggle while he scrambled with his menu. A somewhat bubbly girl in dark makeup walked over to us with a smile on her face.

“Hello gentlemen. My name is Lexus Amanda and I'll be you waitress. Can I start you two off with drinks?” she smiled eying me a little too long. Ash looked at me, grabbing my hand that was on the table.

“We'll share a bottle of Merlot please. I'd also like to buy an unopened bottle of the house's wine for today’s date.” Ash looked up at her with a look on his face that read 'this is mine bitch, so back off'.

“No problem. I'll be back soon.” She looked away, kind of hurt.

“Ash. That was mean.” I looked at him.

“Well, she was flirting with you. I don't like that. Not when you're with me anyway.” He smiled. “Come here real quick.” he pressed his lips against mine.

“Ash. That's embarrassing.” I looked away blushing. He let out a little laugh. I gripped onto his chin and rubbed his bottom lip with my thumb. “Bet I'm still addicting, aren't I?” I smirked.

“Y-yes. Yes you are.” He leaned in for another kiss, but I pushed him away. Good thing too because Lexus came around the corner with a tray in her hand.

“Here you go gentlemen. Two glasses of Merlot and an unopened bottle of the house wine.” She sat the two glasses in front of us, setting the opened bottle next to me and the sealed one next to Ash. “I'll be back in a bit for your food orders. By the way, you two make a cute couple.” She giggled and walked away.

I took a sip of the wine, but winced a little. I wasn't used to the taste.

“Do you not like it?” Ash asked.

“No! I love it, it's just I'm not used to drinking more than beer and cheap wine.” I smiled. Lexus came over and took our food order and was off again. Ash spent a while just looking at me with this smile on his face. I glanced up at him.

“A penny for your thoughts.” I smiled.

“Oh, it's nothing really. Just thinking about what you would look like with my dick in your ass. You panting and begging for more.” Just like Ash. He was always thinking about sex.

“Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't play bottoms. You're not putting that in my ass.” I said pointing to his crotch. I leaned in to whisper in his ear.“Besides, wouldn't you rather I suck you off? Imagine it. My lips wrapped around your throbbing cock, licking it up and down while you moan out in sheer pleasure.” I licked the shell of his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

“Andy, I need you so bad.” He shuddered as I laid my hand on his inner thigh, rubbing in circles.

“Oh really? Only if you say you're the bottom and I'm not.” I chuckled again.

“Never gonna happen.”

“And why not?”

“Because you're the girlfriend in this relationship.”

“How so?”

“Well, think of it this way. You're smaller than me in muscle mass, you constantly obsess over how you look, you do dramatic things all the time to get my attention, you're wearing more makeup than me. You're a girl in a guys body. Therefor you're the less dominant and you're the bottom.”

“Name one time I've done something dramatic to get your attention!”

“You cut your hair, you started wearing tight skinny jeans, you dance around a lot more than necessary on stage, then you kissed me the other day.” Fuck. He was right. I was the girl in this relationship.

“Well, you obviously liked the kiss.” I mumbled scooting over a bit so I wasn't in his lap.

“It took me by surprise at first, but then I pieced everything together and realized, it felt right. I couldn't think of anything else other than your soft lips on mine.” His eyes flicked to my lips and back up. He's thinking about it again. He wants to kiss me again.

“Here's your food. Enjoy.” Lexus bubbled sitting the plates down in front of us. It smelled great. Pan seared chicken and garlic mashed potatoes with brown gravy. I felt like my mouth was watering. We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, enjoying the perfect mix the food and the wine had.

“H-hey Ash. Can I ask you something?” I looked over at him and back down at my plate.

“Sure. What is it?”

“You said earlier that you wrote a song for me. What was it?” I looked at him. He smiled, sat his fork down for a second, then looked at me. Then he started singing 'Rebel Love Song' slowly and almost silently.

“That one.” He stopped before the chorus hit.

“Wait, you told me that you wrote that for a girl you liked.”

“Yeah, and you told me you had a crush on a girl named Juliet. I think we're even.” I stuck my tong out at him.

“Meanie. I wrote a song about you too.” I laughed. “Love Isn't Always Fair.”

“You've got a dirty little mind. I love it.” We managed to finish dinner with our stupid little jokes and stories about our past. It felt like I had gotten my best friend back. I loved Ash, I really did, and I missed the bond that we had when we were kids.

As we were leaving, the host stopped us. “Sirs, hold on a second.” We turned to face him. He reached under his podium and dug out a gift basket. “We usually don't give these away to couples for free, but the manager decided to make an exception for the first same sex couple to eat here in a while.” I grabbed onto the handle and lifted the heavy basket.

“Thank you so much. Please send our regards to the manager.” I smiled at him as we left. Ash held the door open for me as I climbed into the car.

“OK Andy. On to part two of our date.” He smiled driving off into the sunset. It took us a while of driving to get to where Ash was taking us. We parked at the edge of a near by forest. “C'mon. This is a special spot that I want to share with you.” We climbed out of the car and walked on the wood path. Nothing but thick trees on both sides with a lamp every few feet. Ash was leading me by the hand as we walked. “Almost there.”

After what felt like forever we finally made it to the clearing. There was a small private beach with a gorgeous view of the sunset over the ocean. There was a cliff separating this spot form the rest of the main beach. The smell of the wild flowers filled the salty air.

“This is a special place. My Dad bought it years ago when he met my Mom. They gave it to me as kind of a get away spot. I usually only come here to cry and what not, but I want to share it with you, because you're special.” I took in the sheer beauty of the whole place. I felt a tear fall from my eye.

“I'm so glad you shared it with me.” I smiled at him.

“Good. Because this place is now our place. If for some reason you feel lonely and I'm not there, come here and think of me. I'll do the same, because I've been doing it forever. Coming here, crying over how much I loved you.” I wrapped my arms around Ash's shoulders and pulled him into me, resting my chin on his head.

“It's beautiful Ashes. But only half as beautiful as you. I'm glad you love me enough to share your treasure with me.”

“You are my treasure Andy. You and only you. Wherever I go, and you're with me, then I'll feel like I'm home. Like I'm here.” I kissed him deeply, with everything I had. He was giving me way too much, but I knew that no matter what I won't be able to stop him.

“Andy. After all that's happened between us, I'm glad we're still friends. All of that, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to take you for granted like that. I'm so sorry.”

“It'll be OK Ashes. It's all gonna be OK. I forgive you for everything you've done over the last few years. As long as none of that ever happens again.”

“Why would it? I have the most amazing boyfriend at home. He's smart, talented, beautiful and sexy. Oh god is he sexy. I would love to get home and just take him all night long.” He winked at me.

“Sorry lover boy, but I don't feel comfortable with us having sex so soon and we've only been dating for a few hours. I will accept you as my boyfriend though.”

“Oh. OK Andy. If you aren't comfortable with having sex so soon, then I'll respect you for it. But, when we get home, can we at least sleep in the same bed? Now that you're my boyfriend, I don't think I should be doomed to sleeping in a cold bed alone.” I kissed his forehead lightly.

“Yes Ashes. We can sleep in the same bed. I vote yours. It's comfy.”

“But I'd rather sleep in yours. It seems cold and in need of some love. Plus I haven't slept in your bed in years. I've forgotten what it feels like.”

“It's stiff and uncomfortable. How about we alternate nights? Tonight in yours, tomorrow night in mine.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He kissed my jaw line and buried his face in my chest. We stood there like that for a good twenty minutes, watching the sun sink into the ocean and the moon take it's place. I had all I needed right here. Just Ashley, nothing else. I could live the rest of my life without anything. Food, friends, water, anything. As long as I had Ash, I had my entire world.