All or Nothing

Eliza sat in the studio chair and pushed herself back and forth using her feet and the table in front of her. To say she was bored was an understatement. She’d been sitting here all day and hadn’t been able to come up with a single idea. Hearing booms outside, she stood up and looked out the window.

Below her, everyone was making their way to Time’s Square which she could faintly see if she leaned her head all the way into the window and looked to her far right. Looking down, she watched as drunken people, new people, returning people and couples made their way to the huge television screen, waiting to bring in the New Year together. The sun was almost gone in the sky, and it was barely six in the evening, but people were already drunk.

Sighing, she moved to the piano where she picked up her drink and took a sip. She wished she’d thought about grabbing some beer or alcohol on her way here, but she didn’t think she’d be here this long.

She placed her fingers on the keys and let melody fly out of them. It didn’t make sense and it wasn’t really a song, but she just felt like playing. Hell, she had all of her guitars here, too; all three of them. She laughed bitterly at herself, thinking she could ever really be the guitarist and lead singer for a band.

She slammed her hands down on the keys and closed her eyes in frustration.

“That sounds like a hell of a song. Should we open with that for our first concert?”

Eliza whirled around at the sound of a voice and her eyes narrowed as she recognized Hunter. She turned her back on him and started sifting through her things.

“Wait, Eliza, I’m sorry.”

She set her stuff down in a flush and turned to look back at him.

“What, Hunter?”

“I just…I’m sorry I interrupted. My comment wasn’t necessary…Don’t leave, please?”

“What do you want, Hunter?”

“I just…I was at this party with Alex and his girlfriend and Dom and Nisa, and I heard Nisa say you were here by yourself and I didn’t want you to be alone on New Year’s Eve.”

“What about your girlfriend?” Eliza asked, raising an eyebrow, thinking about how Hunter had brought up his ‘good news’ the other day.

“She’s in Florida with her family.”

“Well, that sucks,” she said and turned back to collect her things.

“Eliza, please, really, don’t leave. I brought beer,” he said with a smile and held up the two cases in his hands.

“Alright, fine.”

He smiled bigger and moved over to the couches, setting the cases on the tables and getting his guitar before shutting the door. Eliza grabbed one of the cases, pulled four out, and put the rest in the fridge on the other side of the room. She straightened up and made sure everything was in place.

Hunter glanced at her and took in her knee-high boots with her socks peaking out of the top. She had on tights, the only thing that seemed to fit her right these days, and a white tank top. Her red plaid shirt was open in the front and so was her Avenged Sevenfold hoodie. He knew from the worn look and the size of it that it wasn’t hers and he felt bad. Her black hair was pulled underneath her black beanie and he sighed.

“Eliza…I brought a peace offering, too.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying…I didn’t mean for things to get so out of hand with you and Brian. Honestly, I didn’t think it would be this huge of a deal. I never thought it would go this far,” Hunter said as he sat down on the couch opposite of her.

“Well, it did,” she said and downed half of her beer.

“I know it did, and I really am sorry,” Hunter said and leaned forward. “I never meant for that to happen, Eliza. You’ve got to know that. If I had known then that I’d cause you so much pain, I never would’ve done it. I don’t know why I was such an asshole to you, but I’m sorry. I’m really and truly sorry.”

Eliza stared at him for a few minutes, not saying anything. He really looked like he was telling the truth, but Eliza couldn’t be sure. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, for the sake of the band. Honestly, she was tired of fighting with everyone and just wanted things to go smoothly.

“Where’s that peace offering?” she asked.

She watched him smile and pulled two bottles out of his bookbag. The first one was a bottle of Coke, unopened. The second one was a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. Eliza smiled and chuckled.

“Apology accepted,” Eliza said as he handed her a red plastic cup.



Several hours later, Eliza had pulled her hoodie off and they both had guitars in front of them. They’d already written two new songs and were well on their way to finishing a third. The table and couches were lines with balled up pieces of notebook paper, sheet music, and some that were filled up. Markers and pens were strewn across the room and the bottle of Jack Daniel’s was almost empty, as well as one case of beer was gone.

She’d slipped off several times to do a couple of bumps while she was in the bathroom, and honestly she felt great.

“I can’t believe we’ve written this much,” Eliza said, looking at all the filled in sheets of music and lyrics all over notebook paper.

“Two master minds at work,” Hunter said as he lifted his cup to her.

She chuckled at him, and saluted her own cup to him. “Let’s run through that last one again.”

Hunter lifted his electric guitar again and ran through the beginning with Eliza doing backup. They’d come up with different kinds of songs; some had Hunter doing the solos and him singing, and some with Eliza doing the solos and her singing, or some with both of them singing. She couldn’t have been more excited, honestly, at how smoothly things were going when they worked together.

“You know Jocelyn got us a gig, right?”

“What?” Eliza said, her eyes rushing to his.

He nodded and smiled. “We’re playing a show in March.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Eliza said, astonished.

“Swear to God on my life,” he said and chuckled. “It’s our own show and everything.”

“Holy shit,” Eliza breathed out and smiled.

“Come on, let’s do that song one more time,” he said.

They rested after the song and Hunter lifted his cup to his mouth, looking at his phone.

“Happy New Year, Eliza,” he said and lifted his glass.

She looked through her glasses at her phone to see that it was 11:59.

“Happy New Year, Hunter,” she said and smiled, listening to the thunderous roar coming from outside of the studio.

Even though she was happy where she was at the moment, she couldn’t help but wonder what Brian was doing.



Brian wasn’t drunk enough for his liking. He really couldn’t drink tonight, and he didn’t understand why.

Fuck that, he knew why, he just didn’t want to think about Eliza. He’d thought of nothing else since he’d opened his Christmas presents from her.

He looked down at the black V-neck t-shirt he was wearing that she had bought. He looked from his shirt to the chain with the guitar pick hanging in the middle and how “SYN” was inscribed in it. He sighed and raised his beer to his lips, taking a swig.

His eyes were brought upwards to scan Johnny’s Bar where everyone was currently hanging out and he’d never felt more alone. Everywhere, someone had someone to share a midnight kiss with, and here he was, by himself.

He thought Eliza was going to come back to Huntington with Katie, but when she showed up yesterday by herself, he knew Eliza had gone to New York. He sighed and tried to think about what she was doing right now, but he had no idea. He didn’t know who Eliza was anymore from the way everyone talked about her now.

He finished his beer and moved from his spot to the bar and ordered another one. He felt a presence beside him and glanced over to see Kaicey beside him. He groaned out loud, not caring if he offended her or not.

“Wanna dance?” she asked with a smile on her face.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to fucking dance, Kaicey.”

“If Katie asked you to dance, would you?”

“Probably not.”

“Why?”

“I’m not in the mood to dance.”

“I could make you in the mood,” she said and slid her hand over his t-shirt.

He took her hand and flung it away from him. “I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to get the hint, but I don’t want you, I never have and I never will.”

“You kissed me—”

“That was a mistake, Kaicey. I thought you were Eliza who told me she was dressing up as a character from her favorite movie. I automatically assumed it was going to be Alice. I thought you were Eliza, Kaicey. I don’t want you and I never will.”
Kaicey just stared at him, and he knew he wasn’t going to get through to her. He shook his head and turned away, taking a sip of his beer.

He looked at the clock. Another hour until midnight, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

“Why don’t you like me?” he heard from behind him.

Drinking half his beer in one swallow, he turned around to face Kaicey.

“You’re not Eliza. You’re nothing like her and she is the only person I want. I will never want you, nor will I want to do anything with you. I don’t like you because you’re pushy when you shouldn’t be. You should get the hint that I don’t fucking want you, but you just don’t fucking give up. Stop trying, God dammit,” Brian burst out.

Kaicey just looked bored. He couldn’t take it anymore. He took one last swig of his beer, handed the bartender a few bills and turned to the door.

There was no point in spending New Year’s Eve trying to avoid someone when he could go home and drink himself into oblivion and not be bothered.

Setting his keys on the counter and kicking off his shoes, he made his way upstairs to change. From the four-poster bed post, he grabbed the Metallica hoodie Eliza had left in the dryer; the only thing he had left of her in the house. His eyes glanced over the magazine on the nightstand beside the bed and looked at Eliza’s features on the cover.

Her eyebrow was slightly raised and the two dots of her anti-eyebrow piercing shone up from the pages. He wished he could run his thumb over the two bumps and look into those hazel eyes again, but he couldn’t. She wasn’t there.

He slid his arms into the sleeves and made his way down to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of Jack before making his way to the beach.

He plopped himself down in the sand and opened the bottle, tilting it up, letting the liquid burn its way down his throat into his hollow stomach.

Sometime later, he was vaguely aware of the fireworks going off around him and he looked up at the full moon.

“Happy New Year’s, princess.”