Messy Ending

Our mouths barely grazed before I ripped my face away from Ben’s. “No Ben,” I mumbled. I cast my gaze away from his and took in the sight of the soapy water filling the sink.

“Dai.” His hand reached out toward me, but I dodged it.

“No,” I repeated to him, rushing to join the others in the living room.

“Dai!” Sam greeted me when I was within his sight. “Presents are to be opened!” he declared as I sat beside him on the couch. His arm wrapped around my shoulders, not in an intimate way, but in a friendly gesture.

Just as Ben sat down, in front of me on the floor, Danny shoved a thin square wrapped in shiny red paper into my unexpecting hands. “Open it, dork,” Danny told me when I just stared at the package. “It’s from all of us.” He gestured his arm around the room at the guys.

The occupants of the room stared at me as I tore into the paper. Once the gift had been unclothed, or so to speak, I stared at it in amazement. The thin square I had mentioned turned out to be a CD case, not one that was professionally done. It was the kind that you buy with blank CDs.

Inside the case was a silver CD. An entire note had been written in Sharpie on top of the CD. The boys in the room, minus Ben, stared at me expectantly as I read the note.

The note read:



At the bottom all of the guys, including Ben, signed to it. I felt tears begin to prick at my eyes and I looked up at the boys incredulously.

“Guys,” I breathed, holding the CD against my chest. “This is really amazing. I didn’t imagine you’d do something like this. Thank you.”

Sam pulled me into a hug from the side as he chuckled. “No problem, Dai.”

“We love you, girl,” Danny informed me in a sassy tone.

“I love you guys, too,” I replied, wiping away the tears that slipped past. “Thanks.”

~~~

It was late when the boys finally left. I was already asleep and had yet to hear the CD the boys had put together for me.

I woke up, disgruntled, to Sammi shaking me violently. “Dai… Dai!” she yelled in my face.

“What, Sammi?” I groaned, barely opening my eyes to look at her frantic face.

“Do you have any tampons?” the girl nearly whispered.

“No, I-“ My eyes shot wide open in realization. When was the last time I had my period?

“You what?” she inquired, sitting back on her legs which were tucked under her.

“I… I…” I shot out of bed at the speed of light and rifled through the calendar above my dresser. I was two weeks late. I’d never exactly been regular in the first place, but I’d also never been this late either. “I don’t remember the last time I had my period,” I finished in a voice so soft I wasn’t sure she even heard. I pulled on some clothes, quickly, and continued with, “C’mon let’s go get you some tampons.” I said this to her with a completely different mission in mind.

“Okay?” she agreed in confusion as I scooped my keys off of my nightstand. She hastily followed me, barely getting the time to slip her shoes on her feet. “Slow down, Dai,” she called to me as she ran into the elevator that had already opened for me. “What’s your rush?” she questioned to which I did not respond.

At the drug store about a block away from mine and Sammi’s apartment, I followed closely behind Sammi to the back of the store. On one side of the back aisle there were tampons and other feminine products and on the opposite side were the products I wanted or rather… needed: pregnancy tests. I snatched one of them off the shelf while Sammi studied the different options of tampons available.

Sammi plucked a box off of the shelf and turned to me. “Ready to go?”

“Mmm?” I looked up from the tiled floor at her. “Oh… yeah. Let’s go.”

“Wait…” She gripped me by the arm, hesitatingly. “What… what’s that in your hand?”

“No now, Sam. I just need to get home.”

“Not until you show me what you’ve got in your hand,” she demanded.

For a single moment I stared her with a hard look. Still she wouldn’t let up so I slipped the box into her open hand as aggressively as possible.

She blinked in confusion at the box then looked up at me with the same confusion and the finally back down at the box again. “You… uh… you think you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, Sam. Now let’s leave!” I groaned, snatching the test back from her and heading toward the register.

~~~

Five minutes; that was how long the box insisted I wait to check the test. I spent those five minutes pacing the length of the bathroom.

I couldn’t be pregnant with Ben’s child. If I were pregnant with his child it would mean that I would never be able to erase him from my life completely.

My phone chimed with the too-chirpy and happy alarm, pulling me from my troubled thoughts. I silenced the alarm and held my breath while I peeked at the results of the test.

The second I saw the results my heart stopped and I was out the door in a flash. Sammi called something to me from where she sat on the couch watching some judge show, but I was already flying out the door.

~~~

I knew exactly the destination I was headed for. I pulled to a stop in the driveway that was all too familiar and heartbreaking for me. I sat in the parked car for a few seconds before I climbed out and knocked on the door with much hesitation.

At first I wasn’t certain if he would answer the door, but after a while of waiting in front of the door it pulled open. Out drifted the pungent smell of smoke and heavy alcohol to which I wasn’t really surprised.

I glanced up from the smooth, uncracked cement to Ben’s face. He looked rugged if I was being honest. A layer of stubble had settled over his chin and part of his cheeks from where a razor hadn’t grazed in a while. His normally messy hair was, if at all possible, even messier than he usually kept it.

“Dai?” The moment his eyes recognized my face his entire countenance lit up. “What… what are you doing here?”

“I… uh, Ben,” My voice broke off, but I recovered myself quickly. “We need to talk.”

For a minute he stared at me with his brow indented down in confusion. “About?”

“I… uh… I think I’m pregnant, Ben.”