Cherub

Isn’t it funny that whenever you’re trying to be as quiet as possible, it’s usually when you end up being your absolute loudest? Well, let me tell you, I sure didn’t find it one bit funny as I stumbled around in the darkness of the house I had shared with eight other members of my family. Seeing as there was no way she’d be able to maneuver through my labyrinth of a house in the dark, I had told Cherub to wait in the car. I had successfully gotten through the front door and the living room where my two parents had fallen asleep watching a movie and just as I was convinced that I had successfully maneuvered past the various belongings of my six other siblings in the hallway where all our rooms where placed, I heard a sound most unholy. I froze. “Kwistoffeson?” Slowly I turned around and smiled but it probably looked more painful. Standing in the door way of my room was my little brother August. He was four years old at the time, my youngest brother.
I knelt down on one knee until I was at eye level with the small red headed boy. “Hey buddy…It’s late.” He rubbed his eye with one of his tiny fist, “Kwistoffeson, is ‘dis a dream?” Just as I was about to pick the boy up and take him back to bed, I heard another familiar voice. “So, you’re finally leavin’ huh? It sure took you long enough you lazy ass. I thought you’d never grow the balls." It was my sister Mellie. “Aw, damn it Mellie!” I half whispered, half yelled. “ You’re gonna wake up this whole damn house!” She laughed. “HA! As if you won’t accomplish that all on your own if you keep on the way you’re goin’!” I frowned, “ Whatever ya little jerk, just take August back to bed and beat it.” She let out a mocking noise and swept the little one up in her arms and disappeared into his room. I finally entered my own room.

There was no light but the dim streams of moonlight coming through from the windows. I turned on the light. I looked around at the small room. The pale green walls were covered with posters of all the greats. Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, they were all there. The bright orange shag carpet was littered with vinyl and music magazines. All of a sudden, the moment seemed bittersweet. I was finally going to do what I had been waiting to do for so long but as much as I didn’t want to admit it I would be leaving things behind. I sat on my small bed I’d slept on since I was twelve. It had been my eldest brother’s before it was mine and I had outgrown it more than just a bit but we had never had it replaced. The door opened and quietly closed. “Damn it Mellie! I told you to get lost!” She rolled her eyes at me. “Ssssh, you’ll wake up this whole damn house,” We smiled the same smile. “I’ve come to help out. There’s no way you’re capable of packing for yourself to go anywhere, even if it was to camp in the backyard.” I let out a low laugh. Then, we began to empty my dresser and closet of all my belongings. The wall of silence that had begun to creep up between us shattered when we heard a knock on the window.

I opened the crooked off white blinds and Cherub waved at us from just beyond the glass. The window was a few feet off the ground so we were looking down on her. The window pane framed her body as if she was a masterpiece on display in a museum only for the most beautiful masterworks. She pointed up, gesturing for me to open the window. I threw it open as if the room were running out of oxygen. “ Whew, good thing I got the right room huh? It was the only light on so I figured. Help me up will ya?” Then, she looked at me, arms outstretch, hands open to receive my own. We made eye contact and I hesitated. I wanted to always remember the moment when I finally reached out of the window and grabbed her and held her hands in mine. I relished in the moment because no matter how small the need was I knew then that she needed me and I needed her. I was past the point of trying to find logic in my thoughts about that woman. I had no difficulty pulling her small frame through the window. “Hope I didn’t scare you. I just got lonely sitting in the car and I thought I may be able to be of assistance.” She looked over at my sister who had been standing at the other side of the room. “ Well, well, well, who is this? Who? Who is it? Oh, dooo tell.” My sister was more than a bit over excited to satisfy her curiosity. Cherub was more than happy to satisfy it for her. “Hi, I’m Cherub.” She held her hand up as if she were caught in a photograph of a still wave. “ I’m Kristofferson’s friend. I’m not sure he liked me very much in the beginning but I think we’re friends now. Are you related? “ My sister turned to me, eyebrows raised and mouth curled into a knowing smile. “Why yes, I’m Mellie, Kristofferson’s younger sister. Sooo...” She looked towards the orange carpet. “Are you traveling together?” Cherub’s happy expression became one of worry. “Oh, yeah, I suppose he hasn’t told you. I promise I’m not weird, it’s just that he said he was unhappy and I thought well its better to-" Mellie cut her off, “Oh, noooo darlin’. I think its fantastic news. Just do me a favor and slap him real hard for me when he starts actin’ like a jerk ooor if he makes them googly eyes at you too much.” I felt my face go red. Cherub frowned. I could tell she didn’t get it and I was glad. Her ignorance would be my bliss. I ran my hand through my hair. Mellie giggled and then we all got to work continuing to pack away my things. I shot her a warning glance as she and Cherub continued to talk in hush tones. She just giggled more. What a handful that child is. Once we finished, we had managed to get everything into two suitcases and a large travel bag. Mellie turned to me with her hands on her hips. “Well… don’t screw up and make an ass of yourself.” I couldn’t help but smile at her kindly words. I quickly replied. “Ah, whatever, you already do that every day you little turd. ” We shared a laugh and shared one last goodbye hug before she walked down the dark hallway and shut the door of her bedroom behind her. Cherub stretched out on my bed that was now stripped of its sheets and placed her arms behind her head full of curls. I imagined what it would be like to share my bed with her… Or perhaps one that was a bit longer. Unlike myself, she was small enough to fit on the bed without curling herself up or bending her legs. “So, are we ready to get the show back on the road?” I was ripped from my fantasy. “Almost, I just have a few more things to do.”

One of the last things I did before we left was to make sure to write dad a note. Or at least, I made about a thousand attempts that I thought would make my actions hurt a little less but in the end I could only come up with “Dad, I’m really sorry.”, It wasn’t much of a note but it was a lot better than the attempts. I grabbed all my luggage and left the note on the kitchen table and kissed my sleeping mother goodbye and then Cherub and I slipped out the window like thieves in the night with a haul of my own belongings.