If I Leave.

The past two weeks leading up to my few days left with the Cullens were somewhat eventful, Rosalie can’t seem to shut her mouth and Alice has been really peppy about everything.
She made me go shopping with her last week, I couldn’t stop either because she was wheeling me around.

Emmett and I have gotten alot closer, which is for the most part, why Rosalie has been such a twat sucker these past weeks. Jealously much?

Jasper, has been somewhat avoiding me; only being around me when he really has to. I know no one likes the fact that I don’t embrace my vampire instincts but I’m a protector of nature and animals at heart.
Edward and I have kind of been getting along, we talk when he drives me to my rehab sessions at the hospital with Carlisle; I see Kayla’s mom too. Me and her chat while I’m waiting for Dr. Cullen.

I had 14 days left, I was doing better but I still had to walk with crutches. If I put too much pressure on my achilles, they would re-open. I was sitting on the front porch, Kayla and Embry had just left after hanging out with me.

Everyone was in the house, hanging out and talking; discussing, I was sitting on the rocking chair that I have come accustomed to sitting on since I’ve been here. When I get visitors then they leave, I sit on the rocking chair for a while to think out some things.

Looking out towards the road, I saw a truck pulling into the driveway; it was Bella. She had been coming over alot lately. Her and I usually talk maybe 10 minutes out of the day when she comes over.

She stepped out of the truck then shut the door and walked up the stairs to the porch, she sat on the rocking chair next to me and spoke a, “Hey,” to me.

“Hey, Bella.” I replied smiling to her, “What’s been going on?”
I shrugged and replied, “Same ‘ol. Just thinking, Kayla and Em just left.”

Nodding, she looked out the scenery before continuing,
“I went to La Push today, and talked to everyone. They all miss you.”

“I know and I miss them too, I only have about one or two weeks left here. Thank God.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and started rocking in the chair.

“Mase..”
Looking to her, I raised my eyebrows; “What?”

“I spoke to Paul today..”

I sighed as I felt the aggravation, sadness, and all the other emotions come rushing back; I looked over to her. “And what?”

“He is really sorry for what happened, he let his anger get the best of him. He looks like he’s been starving himself, Jake says that he hasn’t slept since the day after you left. He feels horrible.”

“Oh, nice. You’re speaking for him now? Look Bella, what he did can’t be justified for me and I don’t need you to explain how bad he feels. He knows that he did this and he needs to suffer the consequences.”

“Mason, I’ve grown to like you and you’re an awesome person to talk to. But you’re not listening to what I’m saying.”

“Bella, enough. I listened, he feels like a dirtbag for almost killing me. I actually could have died if I didn’t have the vampire venom in me. So just quit it. He can live with what he did.”

She sighed before standing up, she went into the house quietly leaving me to my thoughts and the weather. Bella, she didn’t need to bring Paul up. I didn’t want to talk about him right now, I just wanted relax and forget that it happened.



After sitting outside for about an hour, I went into the house letting Carlisle that I was going to try and go use my crutches more. Emmett volunteered to go with me, he followed me as I hobbled down the porch steps before heading into the field that was near their house.

“Okay Mase, Dad said that we need to see if you can go far distances in those. So I’ll stand over there, and you come over to me.” I nodded smiling to him, I watched as he walked to a distance and I hobbled to him.
When I reached him, he clapped his hands and said, “Good job, Mase!”

He hugged me then kissed my cheek, as I heard someone call my name;
“Mason!”

We looked over to where the voice came from and I saw a tan skinned figure walk towards us, I didn’t know who it was until he got really close. God. Damn. It.
Emmett stepped in front of me and glared at him, “What do you want?”

“I want to speak to Mason,”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Don’tcha think that she should decide that?”

Emmett looked back at me and raised his eyebrows, “What do you want, Paul?”
I snapped loudly as Emmett stepped aside so he could see me.

His face changed when he saw me, I understood why too. I hadn’t ate alot, even though Carlisle thinks that I am. I haven’t been sleeping right but I put on a smile and pretend, honestly I looked like crap.

“Mason..”
“Paul, what do you want? Come to break my spine?”

“That’s not fair, Mase. I really am sorry, please just listen to me.”
“What do you have to say, Paul?”

He looked to Emmett then me, I looked at Emmett with a look, “Alright, I’ll be on the edge of the woods waiting, yell if he tries anything.”
With that, Emmett was off.

“Paul, what do you want?”
“Did I do this to you? Mason, I’m sorry. I lost my temper, I had no right to do that. I feel horrible for what I did, please forgive me. Please, I can’t sleep, eat, I can even act right without you. I need you.”

“Do you realize that you’ve almost killed me? Paul, you hurt me really bad, when I told you that I was bitten; it took alot of my will to do that. I don’t think you realize that, it hurt me when you got mad. But you also need to hear me when I say this, I would’ve died without the blood that I drank. I HAD to. I had to break my morals to survive, if I wouldn’t have survived then you wouldn’t have imprinted on me. I can’t even walk right now, I have to use crutches.”

He looked pained when I told him all that, I saw his eye change to despair, hurt and something more; distress. “Mason, I need you.”
I heard him sniffling alittle before I saw that he was crying, I stared at him for a second before getting hit with a boat full of guilt.

Dropping my crutches, I groaned as I put pressure on my feet; I slowly struggled to walk towards Paul. When I made it to him, he embraced as he broke down; listening to him break down made me break down. “I’m sorry Mason, I love you. I’ll never hurt you again.”
He kissed me softly before pulling me closer, “I love you too..”

It took me to go through all this shit just to learn that I did love him, I can’t forgive for what he did but I was killing myself being away from him even if I was mad and upset for what he did. Call me stupid, but I just I can’t fathom myself to hate him.