I'm Not Retarded, Just Unique

“Hello Frank,” Linda smiled. Frank looked over his mother in awe. She still looked the same, greasy hair, stained fingernails and teeth, horrible stench.

“Mom,” Frank said in a small voice.

“Frank it's me. Come give me a hug, my little birthday boy.” Without a second thought, Frank lunged at his mother. He clung onto her and began to cry.

“Mommy! Mom-Mom!” Frank sobbed as his mother rubbed his back.

“Hey Frank, how about we go out and get you a special birthday dinner, huh?”

“Frank honey, did you pay for the pizza?” Marie asked stepping into the foyer. Her eyes bugled out as she saw her grandson in the arms of a she-devil.

“Franklin!” Marie shouted and Frank jumped away from his mother. “Get away from her Frank.” Frank looked at his grandmother then back at his mother.

“But-But mom, mom is here. Mom is here.” Frank furrowed his brow deeply confused. His mom was here. Why was Marie not allowing him to see his mother? She was here! She cared! She loved him!

“Frankie honey, let's go.” His mother smiled holding out her hand. Frank took the hand and his mother grinned and pulled Frank until he was at her side and her boney, bruised arm was wrapped around him.

“Let go of him!” Marie shouted stomping over to Linda. She tore their hands apart and stood in between them. Marie had a firm grip on Frank's shoulder but Frank couldn't care at all. All he wanted was his mother

“Mother,” Linda frowned but the other woman glared at her. Frank whimpered as he watched the two. The air became thick and tense and Marie made the first move.

“Gerard!” Marie called and Gerard entered the room. “Take Frank up to his room and do not let him out until I say so.” Marie said calmly. Frank looked around confused and not understanding what was happening. He reached out for his mother who wouldn't look at him anymore. Marie stuck her hand out, stopping him from going any closer. Frank was about to crawl around but Gerard took his hand.

“Hey Frank, let's go upstairs. There is a present up there.” Gerard smiled leading Frank away. “Mikey, come on, come upstairs with us!” Gerard told his brother who skipped up the staies.

“G-Gerard? Mom!” Frank asked looking around. “I don't understand,” Frank cried and shoved Gerard away from him. He dove under Marie's arms and collided right into his mothers. The two stumbled out of the house and Frank let out a small squeak when he felt his mothers nails dig into his skin. He tried to pull back but the grip was far to strong for him to pull away. Gerard stormed over to Linda and pried her hands off of Frank. He grabbed Frank's waist and pulled him back into the house.

“So now the retard is a fucking fag?! You did a worse job raising him than me! Give me my son.” Linda lunged out but Marie pushed her back.

“Get out of here before I call the cops!”

Gerard lead Frank and Mikey upstairs and into Frank's room. Gerard locked the door and stood by it while Frank and Mikey looked around perplexed.

“What's going on?” Mikey asked clearly confused.

“Mom,” Frank walked over to the door Gerard stood in front of. He gently pushed Gerard away but the elder Way stopped him. He took hold of Frank's hand and led him over to the bed.

“Mikey, go get Frank's secret present.” Gerard said with a forced smile. Mikey gasped but smiled at Frank.

“Frank, you have another present!” Mikey giggled and Frank still looked upset. Gerard knew he was having an emotion battle inside of him. Gerard felt so awful not allowing Frank to see his mother but he knew it was for the best. Even if Frank was nearly in tears.

Mikey began digging through the closet for Frank's present. A loud crash was heard downstairs and Gerard turned to Frank who watched the door intently.

“Frank you want to play some music?” Gerard smiled and Frank just shrugged. Gerard got up and laughed at bit when Mikey disappeared completely into Frank's closet. He fiddled around with radio Frank had until a Misfits song began to play.

“Okay Frank-” Gerard froze. He stared at an empty bed and then at the open door.

“I found it!” Mikey announced but noticed the missing Frank.

“Mikey stay here, okay? Frank went to the bathroom. Don't leave,” Gerard fled the room closing the door slightly. He raced down the stairs and let out a sigh of relieve when he saw Frank standing in the doorway.

“You fucking old hag! Why couldn't you just give me my fucking kid?” Linda shrieked as the cops dragged her away. “You can't raise the retard! You made him a fucking fagot!” She kicked and screamed as the police fought to keep her still.

“Mom!” Frank called stepping out of the house. Gerard reached out for him but Frank flinched away from him. Linda locked eyes with him and snarled.

“You fucking no good freak! Are you happy? You made me his way you retard! This is why your father threw you away. You are trash! You dad was right! You should have been aborted! Hell, I should have had your daddy kill you off as soon as you failing grade school!” Frank looked down at the ground as his mother was shoved into the police car. “Freak!!!” Linda shrieked at the window.

Gerard reached out for Frank and took hold of his hand. Frank squeezed his hand but didn't look up. Gerard lead him inside and up to his room. Mikey was by Frank's side as soon as he saw him.

“Frank! You okay? What's going on? Frank, why are you crying? Frank, do no cry.” Mikey poked and hugged Frank but he just continued to silently cry. Gerard bit his lip unsure of what to do in this situation. He wanted to comfort him like he would Mikey. But, he was worried about how he would react. Even if the two were both retarded, they were that way for a different reason.

“Mikey, we have to go home now.” Gerard said suddenly. Mikey looked at Gerard horrified before he looked back at an unresponsive Frank.

“B-But Frank! Frank is sad! Gerard, Frank very very sad. I can not abandon, him. Frank?” Mikey tried again placing his hand on his knee. Frank just stared down at his flooring as a river of tears seemed to wash over his cheeks.

“Mikey, I promise you can see Frank tomorrow. Right now he needs to be alone with Marie. You know how you have private time with me? Frank needs some private time.” Gerard told his little brother who looked equally as upset as Frank.

“Okay, private time for Frank.” Mikey mumbled and stood up. He lifted Frank's chin and stared into the blank eyes of the teenager. “You call, okay? You have my number, yes? You call me.” Mikey told him. Frank just nodded and allowed Mikey to hug him. Gerard gave Frank a hug before the Way's left. They stopped at the front door to say goodbye to a very upset Marie before leaving.

As soon as the brothers left Marie let out a soft sob. She didn't feel like crying she just wasn't sure on what to do. It was so late, she feared calling Anna. She also wasn't sure what to do with Frank. It was so quiet in the house, it scared her. Even when Frank was asleep he still snored lightly or mumbled incoherent words that fell onto deaf ears most of the time.

After pulling herself together, Marie went upstairs. She took her time, thinking over every possible little thing that may happen. Her heart was racing when she stood on the last step and looked at Frank's almost closed door. Grandma Iero poked her head into the room before sliding the door open. Frank didn't budge.

“Honey?” Marie called and Frank's ear twitched up. “Frankie baby, are you okay?” Frank just blinked and lowered his head. Marie sat down next to her grandson and pulled him into a hug. Frank didn't do anything for the longest time. We two sat in absolute silence for what seemed like hours. It wasn't until Marie was about to give up and call Anna when Frank moved. He wrapped his short arms around his grandmothers waist and gave her a gentle hug.

“What?” Frank asked and Marie understood what he meant by the vague word.

“Frankie baby, you are going to see Anna tomorrow, okay? She is going to help you out.”

“Mom? Where is mom?”

“She is gone Frank. She is gone and she won't be back.” Marie pet Frank's head, soothing the boy. Frank didn't say anything after that. His loose grip was gone and his arms dropped to his side. Marie pulled away and looked over Frank's tear stained face. She gave him a gentle smile that he didn't return. With a kiss on the cheek and one last hug, Marie said goodbye to Frank for the night. She asked him if he wanted to share a bed with her tonight, but Frank shook his head.

Marie crawled into her own bed feeling both wide awake and sleepy. Her brain was alert and questioning by wanted answers and to help Frank out. Her body however wanted sleep and that's what it got.

Frank didn't fall asleep like Marie did. Frank sat in the same position he as before and thought about everything. He was so happy. This birthday had been the greatest one there ever was. But it was ruined before they could even eat cake. His mother showed up.

His mom was there.

Those words blew his mind away. His mom, the woman he thought was gone forever returned. She returned and was so nice. She called Frank by his name and gave him a hug. Something happened though, she snapped again. She was the mean and bitter woman she once was before. The one that Frank remembered. The one that haunted him. He wondered if his father would appear. Frank shivered at this thought. His father would be furious with him. He wouldn't be as nice as Linda. He would drag Frank away by his hairs kicking and screaming.

Frank squeezed his eyes shut and jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock on the front door. He exited his room and stared down the stairs at the door. He grabbed a vase from the table and carried it downstairs with him, ready to attack. He looked through the peep hole and saw Gerard. Frank sighed and opened the door up.

“Gerard, what?” Frank asked sounded emotionally drained. Gerard seemed surprised to see that Frank answered the door instead of Marie.

“I wanted to make sure your okay. Is Marie asleep?” Frank shrugged and nodded. He invited Gerard in and closed the door behind him. He abandoned the flower pot on the floor before leading Gerard into the living room. His presents remained on the floor, but they didn't fill Frank with the same happiness as before.

“Frank, are you okay?” Gerard asked once the two got situated on the couch.

“Don't know,” Frank shrugged staring at the coffee table. He studied the stains and scratches as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Are you upset?”

“Tingles.” Frank said rubbing his hands together.

“Are you cold?”

“Tingles,” Frank repeated. His face was so blank only the slight crinkle in between his brow showed any sigh of emotion.

“Frank, I don't-” Frank got up and left the room. Gerard stared after him not sure if he should chase after him or not. Frank marching into the kitchen and threw open the freezer door. He reached into the ice tray and took out one ice cube. He closed the door and returned to Gerard who watched him carefully. Frank took Gerard's hand and placed the ice cube in it. Gerard flinched away from the cold but Frank curled up Gerard's hand and held it closed.

“Tingles,” Frank stated looking at Gerard.

“Okay Frank, I get it, your cold.” Gerard said wanting to get the melting cube out of his hand.

“I am warm.” Frank said both of his hands were now holding Gerard's one hand closed.

“Frank, can I please have my hand? The ice cube is melting.” Gerard whined but he didn't ease up. Water began dripping out of the bundle of hands and Gerard's palm began to feel numb. He tried desperately to get Frank to let go but he didn't until the ice cube was gone and Gerard's palm had no feeling.

“You feel, yes? Tingles,” Frank dragged his finger across Gerard's palm.

“Frank, I don't feel anything. My hand is numb.” Gerard said and Frank locked eyes with him.

“Numb,” Frank repeated, tapping his finger against Gerard's palm. “Tingles, numb.”

Gerard and Frank stared at each other until something clicked in both of their mind.

“Frank, you feel numb?”

“I feel numb.” Frank replied giving Gerard a silent nod. The elder Way frowned and pulled Frank down onto the couch.

“Why do you feel numb, Frank?” Frank just shrugged, tears forming in his eyes as he spoke.

“I don't know.” Frank answered with a small and broken voice. “Why doesn't mom like me? Why, why doesn't she love me?” Frank cried out and Gerard pulled him into a hug. Frank latched onto Gerard's shirt and let out loud heart breaking sobs.

“Shh Frank,” Gerard cooed. He stroked Frank's soft head. He wasn't sure how to comfort Frank. He was confused and unaware of the entire situation. Gerard feared saying the wrong words and upsetting the boy more than he already was.

“Why does mommy want me?!” Frank sobbed his whole body felt numb and unwanted. He felt a dark emotion grow in him. This evil hole that wanted him to do bad thing. It scared him and he wanted nothing to do with it. It wouldn't go away. It filled his head with picture of his mother, his father. He wanted to do wicked things like hit Gerard and shout at Mikey.

Frank cringed and curled up into a ball afraid of his own mind. The images scared him but what frightened him the most was the feeling of death and how he craved it. Never before had Frank thought of death or anything even related to it. But right now, it filled him.

Frank wanted to go the sleep and never wake back up.